


Evil Stepfather

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-28
Updated: 2009-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared is about to get the shock of a lifetime, a stepfather his own age. The reason why is a mystery but he knows for a fact it's not a love match.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Then~**

**Everyone knew who Jared Padalecki was. He was a Padalecki, Gatlin Texas’ answer to the Kennedys. The town was not overly large, but it was prosperous and at the crux of all that money? The Padaleckis. Oil family, shipping, exports. They had come to the new world from Poland, five generations back, and swiftly built up an empire. It helped to start with money, naturally, but also the clan seemed possessed of very good looks, charm and intelligence. They owned the city. Every business , if it was not owned by the Padaleckis, dealt with the family in some way. Loans, mortgages, partnerships. It was well-known that the Padaleckis could not spend all of their money if they *tried.***

**Young Jensen Ackles didn’t really know much about where the Padalecki money came from. He was just a kid. But he knew money was important. It meant a lot to everyone around you if you had it. Which Jensen didn’t. Jensen came from a single parent family. His mother raised him and his two younger sisters on her own. The small family shared a house that seemed like a mansion to them since moving out of their two bedroom apartment. The house was tiny and crowded, but it was a roof over their heads. There was no room for extra anything and they went without new clothes or toys. Hand-me-downs and Goodwill and the Salvation Army provided the Ackles’ kids with most all they had. The Ackles family was leagues away from the Padalecki dynasty. The youngest member of the premiere family sat in front of Jensen Ackles in Mrs. Oliver’s third grade class. The little Ackles thought Jared had the prettiest smile. Was it something that came with not worrying about when you would eat next? Always having new clothes and toys? Smelling good and having everyone like you? Whatever it was, it worked on Jared.**

**Jensen always found himself watching Jared, a mix of fascination and dislike fighting inside of him. Not that Jared actively earned Jensen’s enmity, it was just galling to see things too easy for the other boy. Jared made straight As. He was always picked first for any team sport, had shining tennis shoes. Jared bought his lunch in the cafeteria, not brown bagging PB & J. If you said Jared’s last name around town, people instantly smiled and had something nice to say. If you said ‘Ackles’ in Gatlin? There were remarks about how long it’d be before Maureen Ackles, Jensen’s mom, had another mouth she couldn’t feed. That was just how things were.**

**While Mrs. Oliver was droning on and on about their math lesson, Jensen started doodling on his notebook. Exaggerated faces and super heroes. He scrawled giant clawed hands and people with ripped out sides, getting interested in the guts and various bits he could draw slopping from the wounds. A shrill voice cut into his drawing.**

**“Jensen, is there some reason the class has to stop? Are you unable to pay attention? Are you not going to *need* mathematics, is that it?”**

**Jensen flushed darkly, feeling all eyes on him. He froze up and then Jared was turning around. Jared Tristan Padalecki, golden boy, was noticing Jensen even under the worst of circumstances. The rich kid glanced at the notebook Mrs. Oliver was griping about and his hazel eyes flicked to Jensen’s. Jared smiled and whispered, “You’re really good…”**

**It didn’t even matter that Mrs. Oliver kept him in at recess to do problems on the board. Jensen didn’t care. He had Jared tell him he was a good artist, smile at him. It was like having your favorite candy for the first time.**

**Now~**

**The house seemed menacing to him. Not simply for its sheer size and because of who it belonged to- but also because this just was not right. If there was another way, Jensen thought to himself, any other way… he would take it. The cards dealt to him were not allowing him another move. He felt sick but no one would ever know it. He would hide his nerves as surely as he secreted away his distaste and repulsion to what was asked of him.**

**Jensen had not entered the world with much, but he had his face and body. He had never considered using them to this end before but now? He would. He would do whatever it took. It was his place. His obligation. He parked his truck and slid from the cab, making sure his loose long sleeved dress shirt was neat enough. Not too wrinkled. His jeans would just have to do. After all, they weren’t going out to dinner or anything here.**

**He walked up the stairs to the front door, led by the butler into the foyer to wait. The servant did not even blink an eye at Jensen’s late night arrival. That made Jensen wonder. Did the Padaleckis get many visitors at this hour? He was careful to keep his hands to himself, standing uncomfortably as he looked around at paintings that deserved a better place to be. He recognized a few of the artists, wishing he had time to look closer at the collection. But he wasn’t here for a tour. That was brought home to him when a cultured feminine voice spoke from the stairs.**

**“Ah, you made it. I was not sure you would. You seemed … upset… on the phone.”**

**Jensen lifted his green eyes, seeing a pair of long elegant legs and then her snug black dress and painted face. Rose Padalecki, mother to Jensen’s school boy crush. The matroness of the town. She owned just about everything since fleecing her husband in a very publicized divorce. She was powerful and she knew it. There was only one thing that had been denied the woman and now… here he was. Needing a favor. Willing to pay handsomely for it.**

**“You look nice, Rose.”**

**“Just nice?”**

**She walked to Jensen, seeing how his shoulders filled out his shirt. He would be gorgeous in her bed. A real prize. She saw how his eyes narrowed on her. He had been out of her reach for some time, causing her unhappiness in his stubbornness.**

**“Just nice.” Jensen responded, feeling her eyes move over him like army ants. He knew she wanted more but she could damned well pay for it. He was not in the mood to pretend this was something it wasn’t.**

**“Come with me into the library. We can speak more comfortably there.”**

**Rose’s posture was perfect, the way she held herself regal and commanding. She was the leader of more than one board of directors, able to reduce grown men to tears. But the young man at her back was not cowed. He followed her at a leisurely place, almost making *her* feel like the whore instead of *him*. She led Jensen into the spacious library, the scent of old wood and paper soft in the air , a crackling fire at the hearth. Rose noticed how he flicked his eyes around the room, prompting her to ask.**

**“Do you like it?”**

**Jensen frowned and shrugged one shoulder uncomfortably. He was not about to tell her he had been in the library before. That was not a memory to trot out for small talk. He was trying to keep the sharing with Rose to a bare minimum.**

**“I thought about what you said, Rose. How much are we talking?”**

**So curt. Right to the point. She smiled in vulpine delight at his crisp tone. It might not be easy for him but then, this arrangement was not based on Jensen’s happiness, was it? She sat to one of the heavy leather bound chairs, crossing one leg over the other.**

**“Five million. Directly to an account in your name. Fair amount, I would say. More than you would ever have seen in your life without me.”**

**He lanced his eyes into her but held his tongue. He had to remember why he was here. What he needed. He could not blow it on telling Rose what he thought of her in acidic detail. She had been after him since he was in high school, stopping by the body shop he worked at. Getting her car tuned up or tires rotated far too often. Jensen had a lot of older women, younger women that pulled that trick. What did he care? Money was money. There were men that did the same thing. It just made the shop turn over a good profit and he never put out for customers. Especially not Rose Padalecki. The tension riding over him was making him want to pace, but he held still.**

**“I want to see it in my account before anything is announced.”**

**“Of course.”**

**Rose openly admired him, seeing the set of his jaw, the moody emerald eyes that would scarcely meet her own.**

**“No tattoos or piercings?”**

**Jensen shook his head in negation. “No.”**

**“Well let’s see you then.”**

**She waved one hand in demand and prepared for a show.**

**Jensen left the house half an hour later, wanting nothing more than to go home, shower and sleep. He had to be back at the hospital before going into work. He decided he just would not think about Rose looking him over like a piece of meat to buy- or how he was just that.**

******************************************************

**Jared was not in the door before he heard unmistakable little feet. Dropping his briefcase and jacket, he was ready when his sons came around the corner. Laughing, he swooped up both boys, kissing over their messy heads. They smelt like peanut butter, baby shampoo and puppies. Benjamin was the elder boy at five and Tatum was two. They both loved their father to distraction and got the same in return.**

**“Hey Benji…Tate… lookit you… is that paint, Ben?”**

**Ben grinned to his father, apparently painted up for war, red stripes to his cheeks and over his nose. His answer was thwarted by his mommy’s disapproving tone.**

**“That would actually be lipstick. My lipstick. You’re late, Jared.”**

**“Good to see you too, honey.”**

**Jared carried the boys with him into the living room, depositing them to the couch before he was sitting down. Being piled back onto. He easily held his boys, able to sport with them as he looked to his wife’s eyes. Sophia was tired, he could tell. Frustrated. Ready for a fight whether he wanted one or not.**

**Placing her hands to her hips, Sophia watched as the hellions acted like angels in front of their father. When she put them down for naps, they got up and trashed their room. If she gave them juice it got everywhere. They screamed for attention but never wanted to be any place she took them. She crossed her arms just under her breasts, glaring to her husband. He left early five days out of the week, excluding the weekend, and then came home roughly around six or seven. For free. That’s right. For free. Jared worked as a children’s advocate in the legal system, his law degree effectively just a piece of paper as he was pro-bono and insisted on keeping it that way. It wasn’t like they were not rich but who couldn’t use more money? If Jared even took a couple high profile cases a year that would be something of note. As it was, he never even gave the names or stories of the clients he had because they were all minors. Children that needed someone looking out for them and their interests in a court room. Hardly something to brag over when she was with her friends. Marrying Jared had been a huge coup, she knew this. She lived in a lavish house, knew the best people, had unlimited spending… but she was not happy.**

**It just was not what she expected.**

**“Jared, I need help around here. I am not doing this every day… non-stop. I am fed up. Do you know what time it is?”**

**Jared checked his watch and felt Tate burrow under his arm playfully, smiling to his littlest boy before answering his wife.**

**“It’s almost six thirty.”**

**“That’s right. I had a hair appointment today and I couldn’t go. It was at five. You were supposed to be home early.”**

**Sophia shook her head and walked to stand in front of a large bay window overlooking a brilliant green lawn. She rested her eyes on the fountain that was as old as the house, wishing she could impress on Jared the fact that he was rich. THEY were rich.**

**“Things ran over, Sophia. It happens. I’m sorry. I texted you. Soon as I knew I was going to be late… but… honestly, honey? Your hair looks fine.”**

**He was not being obnoxious. She always did the same thing to her hair and it looked now like it always did. He picked up Benjamin to blow kisses to his son’s belly, earning loud squeals.**

**“DADDY…”**

**Jared kissed his son’s glowing face and dropped Ben back down to his chest as his eyes went to his seething wife.**

**“What?”**

**“What? This. All of this. Jared, I am not happy.”**

**“Maybe we should talk about that later…” He pointedly looked to the boys as they were playing with his tie, trying to unknot it or strangle him, Jared wasn’t sure.**

**“Like they understand. They don’t understand not getting on my white couch or staying out of my things…I doubt they’ll comprehend what I’m saying now.”**

**Her tone made Jared need a minute. He stood up, carrying both of his sons.**

**“I’m taking them up to give them their bath. Did they have dinner yet? Real food?”**

**She crossed her arms, glaring at her husband.**

**“If you would just let me hire more help around here…”**

**“I’ll take care of it.”**

**That was all he could say without going off on her. He wanted to give his sons some time without hearing their mother complain. Jared could hope she didn’t say mean things to them all day but he wasn’t that naïve. He was starting to think he was going to have to either make Sophia happy or get used to her being pissed off and out of the house. He didn’t like either idea really. She wanted to give up her career in design to be a stay at home mom and he had no problem with that. He wanted the boys to have their mom. After all, Ben had been born right after Jared and Sophia had been wed a year. It seemed like clockwork. Tate came next, a little bundle of pure joy, rivaling his brother in energy and intelligence. Bright boys, very attentive and interested in everything around them. The more the children reached out, it seemed, the further Sophia withdrew. He wanted to believe Sophia was not going to want to be away from her sons. Or him. He just didn’t know any more.**

**He made the bubble bath and then started washing the boys, letting them play and splash him back. The phone rang downstairs and Jared let it ring. He was not going to rush the boys. At least he was off Saturday. He could take them to the park and let them run around like heathens. Run with them. Take the dogs too. It did not even seem strange to him to know to exclude his wife from the invite. Sophia would not want to go.**

**“Phone’s for you.”**

**Sophia said the words curtly and pressed the phone to Jared’s damp hand. He accepted it and spoke politely, “Hello, this is Jared.”**

**“Jared, it’s Sandy…” Came the breathless reply. “You are not going to believe this. Did you know already? No, you wouldn’t know and not say something…especially since it’s so… and… I can’t even…”**

**Jared smiled, a true smile. Sandy, ex-girlfriend and one of his best friends still- was very excited over something. He was almost afraid to ask.**

**“So? What is it?”**

**“It’s your mother, Jared. Your mom. She just called the newspaper to put in a… wedding announcement.”**

**“For who?”**

**“For WHO? For herself, you lunk.” Sandy waited and Jared was being quiet. “You didn’t know.”**

**“My mom’s getting married?” Jared was stunned. “To whom might I ask?”**

**“I don’t know the name…she’s keeping that a secret. She wanted to put in an article on the Society page for her engagement party. I tried, Jared, to get more out of her but she was a vault.”**

**Jared reached over to take the sponge out of Tate’s mouth, making Ben quit putting bubbles in his brother’s ears.**

**“I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it.”**

**“You and most of Texas. Mystery man. The woman has a real flair for getting attention. So you ARE inviting me to the party, right? Because I deserve to be there.”**

**“Are you bringing guests with you?” Jared asked offhandedly, but his mind was completely on his mother marrying some random guy. Could it even be true? He was in a state of shock.**

**“Just a couple people.” Sandy wheedled. “Please?”**

**“I’ll make sure you’re on the list for three guests. That’s it. God…I need to call my mom. Can I talk to you later?”**

**“Yeah, yeah… but remember… three guests.”**

**“Bye Sandy…”**

**“Bye Jared…oh and hey… I hope you like your new daddy.”**

**Jared laughed without mirth and cut off the call on her giggle.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

****

**Then~**

**“Hey, are you alright?”**

**Perfect. Jensen was hunched over a sink in the bathroom, trying to wash up his battered face and hands, his t-shirt torn to hell and one knee of his jeans gone. This *would* be the time that Jared Padalecki came into the restroom of their high school, along with friends. Three friends. Which plus Jared, equaled four rich bitch kids Jensen did not want to see or hear from. Tom Welling. Chad Michael Murray and Drew Fuller. Money times four, but yeah, Jared was their boy king. Jensen had just about had enough for one fucking day. Getting jumped by three jocks in the parking lot wasn’t bad enough, now he had to see the holiest of holies?**

**“Don’t I look alright?”**

**Jensen knew his tone was aggressive and hoped they did too. Take a hint and fuck off. He rinsed blood from his mouth and spat pink water into the sink. To his shock a hand briefly touched his shoulder before he was being turned. Jared was gently tipped Jensen’s face to the side, checking over the abrasions caused by going face first to the school parking lot. Of course three of the guys would be walking funny tomorrow and the other one ran off, but still, Jensen looked like road kill.**

**“I don’t think your eye is going to black, but you have a nasty cut here.”**

**Jared ignored it when Jensen tried to pull back, his hazel eyes going to Chad. His best friend was giving Jared a direct ‘what the hell are you doing’ look. Which was paid no mind.**

**“Chad, go get the first aid kit out of coach’s office…”**

**“I don’t need…”**

**Jensen’s words were cut off by Jared’s smooth tone.**

**“You do. You don’t want your cuts to get infected. It won’t take that long.”**

**Jared nodded to Chad and the blonde youth nodded and darted from the room. Tom leaned to the wall, seeing how Jared was invading Jensen’s space and taking care of him whether he liked it or not.**

**“Might as well let him, Ackles. He’ll take you home in a shoebox otherwise.”**

**Jared blushed and shook his head, long dark hair falling across his eyes and cheeks. He washed his hands with warm water and soap before admitting to Jensen.**

**“Tommy’s making fun of me for taking home a sparrow. A baby sparrow. Which happened when we were eight, by the way. A long damned time ago.”**

**Drew saw how nervous Jensen was and smiled like a shark scenting blood in the water. He didn’t care for mingling with people outside their social circle and Jensen? Very. Outside. Another planet, actually.**

**“So who gave you the makeover?”**

**Something about Drew always put Jensen on edge. He suspected for one thing that the other boy had a cruel streak. Like you wouldn’t want to be a small animal left at his mercies. Or a hapless date if the car broke down out in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t have any definite reasons for the feeling, it was just there. Warning bells. Drew was pretty, sure. None of Jared’s friends were ugly, all of them worth a second look- but Drew was *too* pretty, the way toxic flowers were vibrant. Jensen cut a look to Drew, his own tone mild and distant.**

**“Some Good Samaritans. Mind your own fucking business, Fuller.”**

**“Oh, it’s feisty.” Drew murmured and smiled.**

**“Stop it, Drew.” Jared spoke, not unkindly, turning as Chad handed him the first aid kit. Jared took out the cotton swabs and antiseptic, dabbing carefully over Jensen’s cuts. Jared cleaned the marks on Jensen’s jaw and made sure there was no debris in the cuts.**

**Having Jared all up in his face was more vexing than the injuries, by a long shot. Jared was too big to be ignored when he decided to invade your space and put his ginormous hands all over you, over any faint protests you offered up. Jared was beautiful. There was no other word for it. He was not trying to be. He just *was* Jensen was having some trouble breathing, not wanting to move and betray he might be loving this. Shouldn’t be. After all, Jared belonged to the head cheerleader and was leagues away from anything in Jensen’s reach. Jared was made of money, raised to be the model citizen. Jensen hissed at a stinging pain and jerked his head to the side. The cooing sound Jared made to soothe him? Entirely unnecessary. Especially when the noise went right to Jensen’s sixteen year old libido.**

**“Sorry about that Jensen, there was some dirt… got it though. You’re okay… almost done.”**

**Jared put the antibiotic cream over the cut next and thought nothing of coming in the bathroom to change to drive home and then nursing Jensen instead. What, was he going to leave the poor guy bleeding over the sink? Jensen’s friends should be in here taking care of him, and in lieu of those faces- Jared would do it. It was just the right thing to do. He saw the way Jensen was watching him and smiled a little inwardly. Jensen had a lovely face. Even when he was nervous, beat up and angry- Jensen was still the best looking boy in school. Just didn’t know it. Made him more of a threat.**

**“There.”**

**Jared breathed the word and stepped back, putting the cap back on the ointment. He started putting the supplies back neatly, glad Jensen had let him tend his face and hands. Jared would feel bad wrestling someone down to give them first aid, but he’d probably do it anyway.**

**“Are we supposed to get to your house by six for the party, Jar… or can we wait until eight?”**

**Drew asked in a very casual tone, looking over his invitation to Jared’s birthday party. He knew good and well Jensen did not have an invite and what better time to remind Jared that his community service time was over now?**

**The barb was not lost on Jensen. Drew could suck a bag of dicks. Jensen cleared his throat and nodded to Jared.**

**“Thanks, Jared. I gotta go…-”**

**“Will we be seeing you at the party?” Drew asked, the picture of innocence.**

**“Yeah…” Chad chimed in, not an accessory here. Just a loudmouth. “You should totally come. It sounds boring on the invite but it’s really not.”**

**“Chad.” Drew looked a little green, eyeing the boy whose father owned a fleet of Mercedes and still managed to make a son that was unaware of his status. “I am pretty sure it’s an invitation only…-”**

**“Drew.” Jared said his friend’s name quietly, in warning. He hated it when Drew played lord of the manor. Jared shook his head and turned his tilted eyes to Jensen. “You should come. The invitations aren’t important. I don’t even know who they went to. My mother does all that. You’d be the first person *I* get to invite myself. Will you come? It’s my birthday party. It won’t be boring. I promise.”**

**Tom looked at Jared and then hid a smile, pretending to read the Safe Sex poster on the bathroom wall. Jared was obviously liking Jensen and wanting him around. ‘Good luck with that’, Tom thought to himself. Jensen Ackles could be a real cactus. Shut down, turned off and no doubt going to drop out too.**

**Jensen wanted to maintain his composure, get the hell out of there. Too much Abercrombie and Fitch-ness in one spot. He might gag.**

**“Too busy for parties. Thanks anyway. For everything.”**

**Jensen ducked around Jared, grabbed his bag from the floor and booked it out of there. He was doing pretty well, almost out of the building when he heard running feet behind him. What the fuck now. Jensen turned with an annoyed look as Jared stopped his gallop, not even winded.**

**Handing over Jensen’s hooded sweatshirt, Jared nodded. “You left this… and it’s raining out. I thought you’d want it.”**

**Snatching his hoodie from Jared’s hand, Jensen sighed. “Thanks. Again.”**

**“Sorry.”**

**“For what?” Jensen demanded, putting down his backpack to pull on his jacket.**

**“You obviously hate saying ‘thanks’ and I keep making you.” Jared smiled and lowered his chin, looking at Jensen being so fussy.**

**“Cute.” Jensen wished it wasn’t. He did not need to be gaying it up over the prom king. Gold plated prom king. “I just take care of myself. I’m not used to… whatever. Thank you.”**

**“It’s raining out. You need a ride home?”**

**Jared’s offer made Jensen stare at him. Was this boy for real?**

**“Do you even know where I live?” Jensen asked tightly. “You don’t even know me.”**

**“Sure I do. We went to the same grade school and junior high. Now we’re both here. We used to sit close, didn’t we? You liked to draw?”**

**That should not make Jensen blush, but he did. Mrs. Oliver. The only teacher that alphabetized her seating chart by first names instead of last. The only grade they ‘sat close’ in. Third grade. Jensen vaguely shook his head.**

**“I need to get home.”**

**Jared watched Jensen turn away so decisively and slid his hands to his jean pockets, wondering what he had said that was wrong. Did Jensen see the light in his eyes? A little too much appreciation? God, how embarrassing. Jared did not want the other boy disgusted by him. Thinking he was trying to get into his pants. He walked beside Jensen, trying to make it better.**

**“I would like it if you came to the party. My party. What if I SWEAR you’ll have a good time. Would that tip the vote? Cross my heart swear?”**

**“No pinky swear?” Jensen rasped with a short laugh, finally reaching the double-doors. He should not have been surprised when Jared held out his pinky. Jensen shook his head.**

**“I have to work, Jared. I have things I have to do.”**

**“If you do end up having time…” Jared fished the invitation from his back-pocket that he had snatched from Drew’s startled hand. He wrote his cell number on the paper and handed it to Jensen. “Do you know my address?”**

**“Jared.”**

**“Yeah?”**

**“Everyone knows your address.”**

**“Oh.” Jared blushed, head dipping. He still used the eyes on Jensen. “Try to come? For me?”**

**Words Jensen never needed to hear aloud and together. He smiled tightly, holding up the invitation.**

**“I’ll try. Have to go. Thanks.”**

**And that was that.**

**Jared was pretty sure Jensen was not going to come. Forgot about being invited once he was out of Jared’s sight. The night of his birthday party, Jared was on pins and needles, waiting to see if Jensen arrived. The hours drew out and there was no sign of the dark blonde boy. Nothing. Jared tried to distract himself with his other guests, there were so many. But nothing took away the burn of not seeing Jensen. Jared gave up hope and an hour later, Jensen was there. Looking like he was about to leave. Jared loped across the massive lawn, around the tables of food and drink, past the lights and live band. He smiled as he hugged Jensen in tipsy greeting.**

**“You came!”**

**Jensen was shocked to be here. He had never anticipated standing in Padalecki world. It really was as fancy as he had expected and then some. The catered food, open bar- for teenagers, mind you- and a band he had heard on the radio playing the gig? It was sort of overdone but everyone there took it in stride. He was jolted from his thoughts when Jared hugged him. Hugged him. Like they were five years old. Jensen pulled out of the cumbersome hug and laughed.**

**“I had to work, but I thought I’d drop by… say happy birthday. I … didn’t get you anything.”**

**Jared laughed quietly at the shy admission from Jensen over a gift.**

**“I didn’t ask for anything but you coming by. You want a drink?”**

**“No thanks. I have to drive home…”**

**“Just one?”**

**“No.” Jensen meant it too. He had one vehicle that he had scraped and saved to buy. He needed that one vehicle for work. Work was required for money to pay bills in order to keep living and providing for his family. He didn’t care whose fucking birthday it was, he was not getting a suspended license or worse, crashing his car. Too much depended on it.**

**Jared was a little surprised at the strict tone from Jensen but was not going to push it. He noticed Jensen made no effort to walk closer to the huge gathering of people and asked, “You want to see the house?”**

**“You give tours?”**

**“No…I… it’s just… I thought you might…-”**

**“Sure.” Jensen tried to soften the blow of his words. He just had a knack for seeing an opening and taking it. Ah, verbally. He could try to let things go. “Show me your big house, Jared.” Or not.**

**Jared was not sure how to take that, but at least Jensen wasn’t leaving yet. He could get Jensen away from the crush of people and show him the house. Which was nice. Having some one on one time with Jensen. Jared always noticed when Jensen walked into a room, even the cafeteria. But did Jensen look back? No. Jensen usually sat with his table of friends, mostly musicians and art kids. Jensen never came to the sporting events or plays. The dances? No sign of Jensen there. Jared wondered how much Jensen had to work but it was probably rude to ask. He gave Jensen a tour of the house, feeling baffled for the first time in his very confident life. Did Jensen like him at all or did he think he was a total tool rich kid? There was no way to tell.**

**They ended up in the library, Jared looking on as Jensen surveyed the shelf of first edition books. Jensen knew they were originals, first editions- without Jared mentioning it. Jensen glanced towards the fireplace and then back to a copy of The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling.**

**“Do you use the fireplace?”**

**Jared felt a fireplace inside light up. He certainly would use the hearth if Jensen wanted him to.**

**“Sometimes.”**

**Jensen gave Jared a slightly incredulous look and shocked the other boy with a curt tone.**

**“These should be wrapped up. Contained. They are easy to damage. Smoke. Moisture in the air. They can just fall apart.”**

**“Oh.”**

**Jensen heard the slightly wounded tone and gentled his expression. “Sorry. Just… sorry.”**

**“No, no…you’re right. I never thought about it. But I’ll have it taken care of. I will.” There was an awkward pause between them and then, “So where you work… do you do paintings and stuff?”**

**“Huh?” Jensen was obviously confused.**

**“Art. I remember you draw.”**

**“Not for a living. I work at a body shop. Mechanics.” Jensen laughed a little, imagining what Jared thought of as a job.**

**“But you’re an artist.”**

**“Can’t draw a picture to send the electric company, Jared. Maybe someday… I mean it’d be cool and all but realistically? I have to have a paycheck. Can’t feed kids ‘maybes’.”**

**“You have kids?”**

**Jensen narrowed his eyes. Jared winced.**

**“No I don’t have kids.”**

**“Sorry.”**

**“You don’t need to be sorry.” Jensen sighed and walked over to Jared, standing before him with an easy smile coming on. “I think it’s your birthday party, and I didn’t bring you shit.”**

**“There’s something you could give me.”**

**Jared spoke so softly Jensen might have missed it if they weren’t alone and close in the library.**

**“What’s that?” Jensen asked, heart starting to hammer in his ears. He licked over his lips and wondered if golden boy was going to ask for head. Knowing he’d give it to Jared in a hot minute.**

**“Ah…” Jared blushed and looked down, not sure he even dared. God. He couldn’t ask Jensen for… No, he couldn’t. How weird would that be? Jensen would be creeped out and never come over again, that was for damned sure. Still, past all misgivings, Jared whispered, “A kiss?”**

**Jensen’s brows rose. He was taken aback by the simplicity of the request and stared so hard Jared started to stand from the desk he was sitting on. Jensen landed his hands to Jared’s shoulders and pushed him back down. Jensen leaned in , seeing how Jared’s lashes flickered as he tried to decide where to look. Jensen cupped Jared’s jaw and their mouths met. Pressing soft, inquisitive. Jensen moved closer between Jared’s legs and felt Jared’s tongue shoot into his mouth. Mm. Jensen sucked over Jared’s tongue, expert at this. He might not know place settings or how he felt about caviar, but he could suck a tongue til your cock felt it. Jared’s moans were an indication of his assent, but Jensen knew the other boy liked it. What’s not to like about good sex? Even a small taste of it. Jensen drew back from Jared, both of them breathing in sharp sweet catches of air.**

**“Happy birthday, Jared.”**

**Jared blinked, swallowing hard. He was stunned. Kissing Jensen hit him harder than drinking straight whiskey, swallowing down the fire.**

**“Thanks.”**

**Jensen smiled at the coarseness to Jared’s voice before he whispered. “I didn’t know you played for both teams.”**

**“Ah… yeah. I mean, sometimes. Depends.”**

**“Understood.”**

**“You?”**

**“Since I figured out how to use it.” Jensen replied in all honesty. “No sense passing up a good time. Unless it’s a trapdoor. You know, a dangerous pussy to be in. Headcase. The types that put sticks over their hole and wait for some dumb fuck to fall in.”**

**The look on Jared’s face was priceless and Jensen laughed.**

**“That’s a horrible mental image.”**

**“It’s a life lesson.” Jensen amended. “Don’t you ever forget it.” He checked his watch. “Look, I gotta go…”**

**“What? You just got here.”**

**“I got here about two hours ago. I’m sorry, man. My mom’s working the late shift at the diner. I have to be there to watch my sisters. I’m sorry…”**

**Jensen said he was sorry but Jared knew it was just politesse speaking. Jensen was not putting making out with him before being home with his family. Which was as it should be, but Jared wished he could keep Jensen. He flushed and cleared his throat.**

**“So that…the kiss…”**

**“Was for your birthday. Don’t sweat it, Jared. Not a first for either of us, right? I’ll see you later…”**

**“Jensen….-”**

**But Jensen was already leaving the library and Jared didn’t get to tell him that Jensen *had* been his first boy kiss.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now~**

**This was not going to go well. Jared was not nay saying his mother’s right to be happy and make decisions for herself, but this was insane. She was not telling him who her intended was. Wanting it to be a surprise. He had called her more than once, gone to her home- the house he had grown up in- but nothing. She was enjoying withholding. Taking a really aggravating pleasure from not telling him a damned thing about this gold-digger she had decided to take on. All she would do was smile and murmur that Jared could not have picked a better man for her if he tried. Which meant nothing. Jared had never interfered in her lovelife. He barely kept from saying ‘ew’ or something even more insulting. He would rather think she ordered him online than any other option.**

**It did not help matters that he was asked about his mother fiancé from nearly everyone he passed on the street or saw in public, at work. The town was buzzing over this potential man that would be getting the keys of the kingdom in their eyes. Whoever it was would be prolific, true. Given wealth, respect, privilege. All the things that were earned by better people, in Jared’s opinion. What was respect from people that only gave it because you had money? They didn’t know you. You didn’t do anything special or specific to earn their good graces. It was your bank account that they appreciated. The same could be said for the immediate assumption that you must be somehow blessed to have a plethora of credit cards. Jared had come to realize anything that could be boiled down to ‘a thing’ was just that. No matter what it gained you, a thing could not love you or make you worthwhile.**

**Trying to instill that in his family was a whole other issue. Sophia felt like a poor little rich girl most of the time. She did not understand why he did the work that he cared so much about. He had tried to show his wife, taking her to see the children brought in for various cases of abuse, medical neglect, divorce, custody battles, all in need of some legal aid that their parents were taking advantage of. Some children needed an extra voice on their side, and Jared was that. He listened to their cases, asked them viable questions and gleaned what the child he represented truly wanted. Kept their parents and their parents attorneys from pressuring the child into conceding and doing whatever they were told. Jared lost the battle on winning Sophia over to sympathizing with anyone’s plight but her own.**

**If nothing else, Sophia was consistent. She wanted what she wanted and now. He found himself looking at her often and musing over the waspish buzzing that must be inside her head 24-7. Like a droning hive of ‘I wants’ and ‘Jared, we need to talks’. All those hot stinging things she had to say.**

**Maybe he should consider hiring a nanny for the boys. Not for Sophia, but for his sons’ sake. They might do well to have someone around that genuinely wanted to be with them. Never acted like they were a noisome bother. Things were not going well in his married life and that meant Sophia was offering him what she knew he wanted. Just this morning she had tried a very persuasive argument as he got ready for work.**

**Her hands had stolen under the fabric of his untucked dress-shirt, over his belly and up to his chest. He tensed when she nuzzled his neck from behind.**

**“You know you want to stay home a little longer… Come back to bed, Jared. I’ve been thinking… it’s time. We can have another baby. Maybe even a little girl this time… oh whatever we have… our babies are perfect…”**

**Jared had covered her hands with his and carefully moved her touch from his body. He did not want to hurt her, but some part of him wanted to shove her back. He was too aware of why she offered up her body now. She was afraid he was thinking of leaving her.**

**“I have a client to see. He’s four years old. You think it’s a good idea to make him wait while we screw?”**

**He said it mean and yeah, he meant it just that way. Her shocked face was a reward all its own. He was angry, not simply over the moment. There was the knowledge of why she offered him another child. What was in it for her. God. He wondered when they had turned into this. His wife giving him a time-share on her body to make children, like it was her occupation. A little give and take. She made his babies and in return he gave her everything she wanted. Jared rubbed over his brow, moving away from her.**

**“Don’t forget tonight is the engagement party. I’ll be home by six to get the boys ready.”**

**Sophia let him go without a word, sensing he was on edge. It was not a good time to press her point. He would succumb eventually. His moment of spite was only a small blip. Jared was not as strong-willed as he liked to think. She was the one that pulled his strings. The sooner he realized that, the better. Her husband would fall in line. Earn his rewards. If he wanted to play at denying her? He would find out that she could be as dedicated to her cause as he was to all of his.**

**______________________________________________________**

**Resting his head to the wall, Jensen kept letting the phone ring as he waited for it to be picked up. Waited. He needed this. He had to…**

**By the tenth ring, he gave up and put the phone down. He was not going to be able to say a damned thing to Jared before tonight. He should have tried to call earlier, but part of the contract with Rose? Jensen was not allowed to divulge any details of their marriage to anyone else. Nothing but P.R. about how she- gag- completed him. How she was the one that saw his potential, diamond in the rough, love knew no age. Things like that. Certainly nothing true. No hint that he was burning up inside with self-hate, revulsion and a sense of free-falling into nothing.**

**He should be getting ready. The party had already started, and he was taking his time putting on the suit sent over. He didn’t want to think about it. Had put it off as long as he could, but there was no stopping this. If he waited, it was not himself at risk. He could not endanger a life trusted to his care. It was a little thing, he told himself. A simple thing. People had sex every day. People got married all the time. Maybe not to evil old bitches, but was that too much to ask of him? For what he would gain? Wasn’t it a fair trade?**

**He thought he might lose his lunch. Jensen held his stomach and leaned his brow to the wall. He took slow deep breaths, wishing he had some brilliant ‘other way’. There was no making money appear out of nowhere. He had exhausted that option. Selling what he could, borrowing money from friends that could barely spare it themselves. He was at a dead end, slamming face-first into a wall, wishing he could be numb.**

**Strong arms encircled him from behind and Jensen tightened all over. He held still as his neck was kissed. Not a perfunctory kiss, but open-mouthed and lingered, tasting. Biting in that way that let Jensen know he was being tasted and savored. Jensen closed his eyes tightly and whispered, “Please don’t.”**

**“Does it make it worse? Like you might change your mind?”**

**The voice was sand over silk, but there was pain there too. Anger.**

**Jensen turned to put his back to the wall, the machine shop his haven and hideout. Right now it was his Gethsemane. A place to reflect before sacrifice. He looked at Chris’ tortured eyes and knew his boyfriend was suffering. There was no other way to describe it. Chris looked like he had lost too much sleep. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, leaving his face vulnerable to show the hollows under his eyes and the redness from tears he never let Jensen see.**

**“I can’t change my mind, Chris. It’s as good as done. I don’t want you hating me…”**

**“Because we were just casual, right? Because I didn’t come off the road the minute you called me about Chelsea…”**

**Jensen flinched, his heart twisting in his chest. He held up a hand when Chris was reaching for him.**

**“Yeah, we were casual. Friends with benefits. Nothing worth risking your career over…-”**

**“Jensen, God-fucking-damn-it…”**

**“I needed my *friend*. I called you. But in the meantime, Chris? I had to make choices and…changes. That’s just how it is. I’m getting married. There’s no room for … fucking you.”**

**Chris Kane drew back and wanted to knock Jensen on his ass. Or maybe just manhandle Jensen onto the hood of the Chevy waiting to be repaired. Fuck some sense into his stubborn head. No matter how mad Jensen made him? No one got him as hard. Friends of benefits had seemed a fine way to term their ‘relationship’ until even that was being pared down. Cut away to ‘stand by and watch me fuck up my life’. He was older than Jensen, had gotten out of Gatlin for God’s sake, but Jen was locking himself here. Link by link, chaining himself to a town that would never get him where he needed to be.**

**“It doesn’t have to change ‘us’, Jenny…”**

**“Yeah. It does. Marriage means… it means no one else. I’m sorry, Chris…”**

**Chris shook his head. He was more than aware that Jensen wasn’t telling him the whole story. But the pieces Chris *did* know? He had a gut suspicion about Jensen’s motivation to getting hitched to some old RICH bitch.**

**“How much, Jen? What’s your goin rate?”**

**Pain washed across Jensen’s face before he was shoving past Chris. Out and away. He could not do *this* too. Not today. He was in his car when he heard Chris yell from the garage.**

**“This ain’t over!”**

**________________________________________________**

**Drink in hand, Jared wandered away from his wife’s side. Sophia was busy talking shop with other rich women in her situation. Which meant talking about either money they had spent or things they were planning to buy. Since Ben and Tate were still little, Sophia had not yet graduated to the circle of mothers that lived vicariously through their children and took credit for all their offspring accomplished. That would come later. Jared felt like he was being a prick tonight but he could hardly help it. He was in a foul mood.**

**Getting ready to meet some asshole his mother decided to replace his father with. Pretend to be happy for them as everyone in creation was watching the fateful first meeting. He finished his drink and waved over a servant, taking another flute of champagne. He was going to need it. He walked to the back of the gardens, past glittering guests and too-bright laughter. Just to have a moment’s peace. No one looking at him like they were trying to peel his face away and reach inside his brain. Find all his secrets. He was used to it but it never got easier. Jared had never established some veneer that protected him from all the machinations of society and the animals that ruled there. He still had a conscience. Dreams and expectations outside of money. Jared fantasized sometimes that he had been taken away from his real parents. It was more of an amusing passing thought but sometimes it *felt* true. His parents did not share his altruistic nature. They never saw the need to ‘give back’ without a tax break or photo op. Jared preferred to keep it quiet when he was making donations or volunteering his time. Doing good for good’s sake, not his own or to make his family preen. He sighed and sat down on a stone bench, seeing someone was already in the small alcove of greenery.**

**No. Please no. Jensen could not believe. He had come to the back corner to get his head together before going inside. He was late, his phone full of messages that got more strident the longer the caller was ignored. Jensen was set to go in like a sacrificial lamb and then who comes to *his* hiding spot? Jared. In the flesh. After so long, Jared was within arm’s reach and smelling so good it made Jensen’s mouth water. Jared with his hair a little too long, long enough to be tied at his nape tonight, showing the fine precision of his cheeks and jaw, the fullness of his lips and those leonine eyes. Damn it.**

**Jared recovered first, though it was a surprise. Jensen never came to these extravaganzas. Respectably, Jensen had better things to do. Thinking of his case-load, Jared had better things to do too. He saw how nervous Jensen appeared, the way Jensen seemed out of sorts in his …was that Prada?…suit.**

**Jensen looked tired, and smelt faintly of Jack Daniels. Immaculately groomed, his golden skin alluring as hell over his cheeks and jaw where he had shaved. Beautiful. Jared blinked and cleared his throat.**

**“Jensen, what are you doing here? I mean, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it that way. Just surprised. You come to see like everyone else?”**

**Jensen swallowed tightly, cursing the luck. Rose had kept true to her plans to let it be a surprise. She hadn’t even told her kids. Jared had no idea.**

**“I guess.”**

**Fucking couldn’t. Couldn’t say it. Jensen smiled rigidly to Jared.**

**“You curious, Jay?”**

**The old nickname made Jared’s gaze cut deep. He did not need to be thinking about being curious around Jensen. Where had that ever gotten him? Hurt. Confused. Cut loose. Jared turned his face from Jensen’s.**

**“Morbidly curious. Like watching a train wreck.”**

**“Yeah.” Jensen agreed, not about to say otherwise. He wished he could touch Jared and explain, there was just too much to say. There was here and now and everything before. He owed Jared a vault of gold coin reasons. Jensen looked down at the stone path before them, thinking of his phone vibrating in his pocket. He was being summoned.**

**“I need to go, Jared. I’m…I’m sorry about this.”**

**Jared shrugged, not looking up. Whatever Jensen was apologizing for? It wasn’t making anything better.**

**“Things happen. It’s not your fault. I’m a big boy, Jensen.”**

**“I remember.”**

**Jared met Jensen’s eyes and was *that* close to asking Jensen to sneak away with him. He felt like he was ready to let the chips fall where they would, but Jensen was avoiding his gaze.**

**“Don’t say things like that. You don’t have to. It doesn’t mean a damned thing to you…”**

**Jensen bit his lower lip and then nodded. What else could he say? He turned away from Jared and walked away.**

**_________________________________________________**

**“Someone really overestimates himself.”**

**Rose hissed when Jensen finally deigned to show up. He walked into her bedroom and instantly the room was stifling. She wanted to slap him down for his tardiness, but the need to *look* at him prevailed. She stood, hands carefully arranging her Yves Saint Laurent gown.**

**To Jensen, the gown’s print looked like something he had once seen on his grandmother’s couch, but he kept that to himself. Rose could wear whatever she liked, she always looked the same to him. Like a skeleton that ate enough to have Botoxed skin. She was well coiffed, covered in jewelry and walked like a field overseer when she approached him. Her cool hands cupped his cheeks as she brushed her lips to his in a proprietary manner. She sniffed delicately and drew back.**

**“Have you been *drinking*, pet?”**

**“Had to.”**

**Jensen smiled in a baring of teeth and stared daggers into her eyes, glad they were a watery blue- nothing like Jared’s hazels.**

**“Are we doing this or what?”**

**“So eager. That’s good. I like eager on you.”**

**Rose slid a hand down to cup his nape, feeling how fine his hair was. Like a baby’s.**

**“The money will be there tomorrow morning?” Jensen asked, staying still as she ran her nails down the front of his jacket. He knew what she was doing. Showing him who was boss here. It was one step up from her pissing on his leg.**

**“Yes, my greedy darling. You can check your account at eight a.m. to reassure yourself of an honest sell.”**

**There came a knock at the door and then the wedding planner looked in, the slight man relieved to see the groom had finally made an appearance.**

**“Thank God you’re here. Oh my . Rose, are we ready? The balcony is ready… if you’re both ready… I thought we were starting …”**

**Jensen had to take shit from some people but not some asshole with a clipboard and headset like this was fucking Broadway. He glared at the wedding planner.**

**“You start and *you’re* ready when WE are. Don’t bitch at us about your time frame on *our* dime or you can pack up and go, bitch.”**

**Rose chuckled as their wedding planner turned the color of bad milk and his eyes bugged out. She hugged to Jensen’s arm, feeling delighted in her fiancé’s show of temper.**

**“Don’t hurt Eric, dear, he’s very expensive. We are ready…”**

**Jensen gave Eric Kripke a derisive look in passing but had bigger things to worry about. He let Rose lead him out to the ribbon and roses festooned balcony, seeing the crystals hung from the roses, tiny Swarovski crystals on the petals. He stared hard at the decadence and wanted to be anywhere but here. He could not lift his eyes when Rose was announce and then… his name.**

**“We are so proud to present to you tonight the bride, Rose Gwendolyn Moyer-Padalecki and her intended, a man we have all been waiting to meet… Mr. Jensen Ross Ackles… please help me welcome our lovely host and hostess…”**

**The applause was enough to hurt and Jensen lifted his eyes, because he had no other choice. The feel of a certain gaze was serrating him. He met Jared’s naked expression and grimaced. There was no fake smile Jensen could summon up, even as his arm was being squeezed painfully. Jared turned and vanished into the crowd, enabling Jensen to seal the act. Jensen smiled falsely and turned his face, kissing Rose’s cheek as she whispered through her teeth for him to not ruin this moment.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

Now~

 

Life had officially gone off the tracks and over a cliff. It could not be true. There was no way this was happening. Trying his hardest not to make a scene, Jared had closed himself off in the bathroom just off the main kitchen, locking the door behind himself. He could not possibly make eye contact with anyone right now. He sat on a cushioned bench, near the door, his head in his 

hands. The alcohol he had consumed was making his stomach seesaw, but what truly shook his equilibrium was a who, not a what. 

 

Jensen.

 

Jensen was marrying his mother.

 

Going to be his…stepfather. Legally, they would be *related*.

 

How could this be? How did Jensen and Rose even know each other? Were they lovers? Jared might be sick. He forced himself to take slow deep breaths, not sure he wanted to ever leave the bathroom. He was supposed to do the polite thing and shake Jensen’s hand, let the photographers snap off a few pictures. If the press wanted pictures of Jensen and Jared together, they could always check their *yearbooks* where they were caught in candids at school. That wasn’t what everyone wanted to see though. No, they could hold out for the big score. See the son welcoming in the husband-to-be. Hold the pose, click-click. Jared told himself he had to be able to make it real. Look convincing and save some face. Not beat the living hell out of Jensen and call his mother a crazy bitch. That was not on tonight’s program.

 

There was a soft knock at the door and Jared ignored it. Let them find their own place to have a breakdown, this one was taken.

 

“Jared? It’s Tom. Can I come in?”

 

“No. Please, leave me alone. I’ll be out in a minute.”

 

“Jared-…”

 

“Please.”

 

Tom sighed and then he walked away from the door to Jared’s relief. He did not need to see the sympathy- or worse- pity, in Tom’s eyes right now. He had to get himself together. Under control. Why did he let Jensen get to him at all? Had he not learned a damned thing from Jensen Ross Ackles? After all this time, Jared felt, he should have a fucking doctorate in being on the wrong side of Jensen. The hurt should not even register at this point.

 

How weak.

 

Jared thought of their ‘interlude’ in the garden and wanted to find Jensen and wring his neck like a wet towel. Acting like just another guest. Jared had been so close to asking Jensen to meet him someplace dark and much more private. Like old times. Thank God he hadn’t. All he needed was Jensen telling him he was *grounded* for fucking around. Jared had to close his eyes again as a wave of anger washed over him.

 

Jensen must be so proud of himself.

 

He definitely one-upped Jared tonight. Showed him in full living color, publicly, that Jared had never meant anything to him. Jared could be just anyone, right? Because Jensen was able to turn and kiss… 

 

Jared couldn’t think about it.

 

The best he could do was damage control. Jensen had seen his face at the big reveal. That couldn’t be taken back, but Jared could- feasibly- go out there like nothing was wrong. Like he was disgusted over who it was but not because he still *wanted* Jensen. No. He could play this game until Jensen regretted ever starting it.

 

______________________________________________________

 

Could you suffocate even with more than enough air? Jensen thought he could. He was forced to shake hands with Jared’s siblings and meet their spouses, even meeting Sophia. He looked over Jared’s wife closely, since he could. She was beautiful, sensually pretty really. Long dark hair, petite but curvy. Jared seemed to have a type when it came to women. Sandy in high school, Eliza in college and then Sophia. Not that Jensen kept track. He so kept track. He watched the new arm candy with interest, knowing which ones might last and who would be politely released back into the wild. Sophia wore it well, her position. She was a rich young socialite, mother of two- and the boys? Jensen wanted to actually talk to them but there were already other hands reaching for him, questions coming from all directions. Jared’s boys were adorable as hell. Babies really, even if Jensen thought Ben might be about four or five. They were mini-Jays. That same dark hair all wayward around inquisitive faces and lit up from within eyes. Beautiful kids. Smart too, especially when Ben looked at Jensen and whispered, “You’re marryin my Nana?”

 

Jensen wanted to grimace and answer with a ‘I know, right?’ but he managed a smile. “Yeah.”

 

“But she’s so OLD.”

 

“Benjamin Maxwell.” Sophia blushed and tugged at her son’s shoulder, pulling the small boy back. “Say you’re sorry. Jensen, he never thinks before he speaks…”

 

“No, it’s alright.” Jensen said, smiling to Benjamin who slowly smiled back. “Nana *is* old. I hope we can be friends, Benjamin…”

 

Tate watched the exchange and then tugged at his mother’s dress hem, wanting picked up. Jensen was shocked when Sophia swatted the little hand away, making Tate flinch as his mother hissed, “Don’t wrinkle Mommy’s dress, Tatum. Go hold Benjamin’s hand…go…”

 

The toddler’s eyes teared and he pulled his hand back but before he could go to his brother, whose hand was out and waiting- Tate was picked up. Jared held his son, feeling Tate’s small arms go around his neck, face pressed close. Jared gave Sophia a look before he turned to Jensen. A smile was in place when Jared held out his free hand.

 

“Welcome to the family, Jensen. I see you already met my wife and sons. That’s good, the boys can always use a new grandpa.”

 

Point to Jared, Jensen mused sourly. He cleared his throat and took Jared’s hand, squeezing as hard as he was *being* squeezed. Jared won that one too, because his hands were massive. Like the rest of him. Jensen resisted the inclination to shake out his hand once it was released, smiling back to Jared.

 

“I don’t have to be their grandfather, Jared. I am not trying to replace *your* father either.” Oh this part might be a little fun. “I never want you to think I’m taking your mother away from you. She still loves you just as much.”

 

Oh, the *ass*. Jared narrowed his eyes, hearing a speech by rote for new daddies meeting step-kids. 

 

“Sophia, I think we need to call it a night. The boys are tired.”

 

Sophia looked pained. She was so not ready to go. She saw Ben hugging Jared’s leg and , true to form, Jared picked up his other son. It was no wonder they were so hard to deal with. Their father spoilt the boys past redemption. The children were all over Jared like they were not all dressed up and in the middle of a crowd of people. 

 

“Jared… it’s early. I haven’t even had a chance to talk to my *mother* yet …or yours…”

 

“Fine. You stay and talk all you want. I’m taking the boys. I’ll leave the car for you.” Jared saw a strange expression on Jensen’s face but was in no mood to puzzle it out. He took his boys and walked away, not able to stomach another second. On the way to the car, Ben leaned back a little and looked at his father’s tense face, small hands patting Jared’s cheeks. Jared smiled to his son, gesturing to his mother’s chauffeur. 

 

“Daddy’s okay, Benji, just tired. Maybe we need to get home, put on our pajamas…have some icecream?”

 

Ben’s face with wreathed with a smile as his father put him gently in the back of the town car. 

 

“And a movie? A movie, Daddy?”

 

“Yeah, honey, whatever you want.”

_____________________________________________________

 

Then~

Stubborn could be a good thing. It could earn you gold stars for effort or make you learn to push your own limits. Tenacity could be the stuff of motivational posters and athletic footwear slogans that everyone felt vaguely annoyed by after awhile. 

 

It could also get your ass in trouble.

 

Jared was being a rebel tonight. Going down to Copperhead Ridge for a party instead of studying was a real break for him in a few ways. He was Mr. Joe College, he had it in the bag and would be leaving high school in a blaze- but he still never let his grades suffer. No test or quiz found him less than ready. He knew the importance of what he wanted to do with his life and that meant applying himself every step of the way to being the best he could be. That just could not compete with being invited to a party by a kid that was a real sweet guy that took a chance on asking Jared. Jared never held his wealth over anyone’s head, but he knew it could intimidate people. 

 

Kian Mitchum wasn’t just anyone though. Plenty popular on his own, Kian didn’t recognize any of the social lines so clearly drawn by most high-schoolers. Did not seem fazed. He was a slender young man with deep red hair, a true auburn and eyes as brown as good coffee. He was also beautiful. Inside and out, Kian was attractive. Jared had Kian as his science lab partner and then they studied for chem together after school. When Kian asked Jared about coming to his party, it had been as offhand as Kian had asked every other person coming over. Jared liked that. A lot.

 

“I don’t know, man, I can’t be too bombed for Monday morning…”

 

Jared started to protest, thinking of how late he might be. Plus, it was a Sunday night party and there would be no recuperation days before being back in class. He saw Kian’s smile and laughed, dropping his head. “I’m officially pathetic, right? Fretting like an old lady?”

 

Kian shook his head, neatly gathering his books and not able to hide his infectious smile. “No, no, Jared, it’s cool. I understand. I just have to do this thing after my older brother Colin gets home- he’s bringing the booze and all. Plus … has to be before my folks get back and Sunday is better than Monday, you know? But if you can’t make it, it’s no biggie. Some other time. I get that people have responsibilities. You and Ackles are still in my cool book, regardless.”

 

“Ackles? Jensen?” Jared asked like there was another Ackles in their high school. He was suddenly very interested in a Sunday party.

 

“Yeah, he’s got to work but I flat out begged him. He’s good friends with Colin and I know Colin’ll want to see him while he’s in town. I told Jensen I’d take the girls to their sleepover if he comes. Free up his time. I got plenty of time…” Kian started putting his books in his satchel, not realizing Jared was so avidly watching him like he was King Solomon giving out tips.

 

“The girls?”

 

Kian glanced up at the inquiry. “Yeah, his little sisters. He’s got like five of them. Anyway… here…” Kian handed over his address on a piece of notebook paper. “That’s the address. Can’t miss the house. It’ll be the one surrounded by yellow tape and chalk outlines…”

 

Carefully folding the paper, Jared smiled and stood, gathering his own books to shove in his backpack. “Thanks for this, Kian. I’ll really try to be there.”

 

All of which was well and good until Jared realized that, at the party, the only person he had ever spoken to was Kian. Then Kian had vanished on him to go and keep his word to Jensen. Jensen had not shown yet , which led Jared to believe he might be awkwardly surrounded by strangers all night. He was officially not to blame when he was sidled up next too by a mouthwatering brunette that said her name was Sandy. If she popped some mushrooms into his mouth and told him to ‘share the magic’, what was he *supposed* to do? He ate them, and said thank you when she gave him a few more because she realized how tall he was. Apparently, he did not need as many as she thought.

 

Jared was floating through the party, able to talk to anyone and everyone. This side of him was met with great enthusiasm and soon he was having a fucking blast. Swim in the pool fully clothed? Sure. Dance on the garage roof? You got it. He was fine doing everything that was suggested since he felt so amazingly good that he knew nothing could ruin his evening. He had mostly dried off by the time he was lying on the living room floor. He cradled a beer carefully and was sure he needed to not pour it into his face while lying totally prone. That would be a Very Bad Idea. He scooched up to lean his back to the couch, surprised when Sandy was in his lap. She smiled to his dazed expression, never having seen Jared so beautiful. He was always a good looking boy, but his dreamy gaze and relaxed smiling lips? The way he was so pliant? He was like a big puppy to play with. She wanted to eat him up. She brushed his hair back from his face and kissed him, moaning softly when he kissed her back. He spread his denimed legs, framing her between his knees as they made out slow and happy. He was so fucked up that he didn’t think of manners when he pulled his head back after about twenty minutes and said, “Thirsty. I think I need water.”

 

Sandy realized she had been all over him- and possibly he was still dating Chastity (poorly named) Jenkins, the head cheerleader. “Ah…Jared?”

 

“Yeah?” He was looking for his beer bottle, not sure where it got to and feeling like an ass for that. Hoping he didn’t spill it.

 

“Are you still dating Chastity?”

 

“Um.” Jared blinked and shook his head, looking sidelong to Sandy. “No, two…days. Ago, I mean. Since. But no more. She does this thing…I don’t like…”

 

Sandy was fascinated. She helped him up and saw him lift an empty beer bottle to pout at it. “What did she do? That you didn’t like?”

 

Jared headed for the kitchen. He could at least throw away his empty bottle. Get some water. He started at Sandy’s question and looked back to her. “Sandy. I know you. You’re in my creative writing class. You wrote that story about trees talking. I really liked that.”

 

“Thanks…” Sandy smiled and saw he was hammered. Really hammered. “So are you going to tell me what Chastity did?”

 

He opened the fridge and reached inside, taking out a bottled water, drinking it down and reaching for a second before replying. “She never listens. She’s always just waiting for her turn to talk. It’s all… she says this thing that drives me bat-shit crazy. When you tell her something, whatever it is, you could say your grandma…fell in with some …cannibals…and they ate her eyes out…and Chas would say ‘Oh, that’s nothing’… or ‘You think THAT’S bad.’ She just never…shuts the hell up…listens…cares… thinks about anyone else. She’s really…kind of a bitch.”

 

Sandy had to agree. She laughed, seeing how he had to vocalize to come to that conclusion about his ex. Anyone else could have told him Chastity was a bitch, but Jared learnt all on his own. “Least that’s over, you’re free. I mean, you are free, right?”

 

Movement by the door caught Jared’s eye and he saw Colin walking in with someone. The main room was pretty dark, but Jared knew he was looking at Jensen. Jensen walked in with Colin and their heads were close together. It was obvious they were whispering to each other. God. It had been a month since their kiss. Jared had tried to talk to Jensen since but Jensen always found some other place to be or was in a rush. Making it clear that Jared had gotten his lucky moment and that was that. Now though? Jared could not look away from how Colin peeled Jensen’s jacket away and was grabbing Jensen’s ass.

 

“Jared?”

 

Sandy saw where Jared’s eyes were and took the tall boy’s arm, drawing him back into the kitchen so he wouldn’t get caught staring.

 

“Don’t let that bother you. Colin and Jensen are close. Sometimes. It’s just friendly, loving. You aren’t upset are you? They don’t do it in front of everybody or anything…”

 

Jared shook his head and didn’t want to hear any more. Colin was older. Out of school. In college, senior in some engineering program. He was a good looking guy. Sable hair, dark eyes, strong body. Tattoos. What wasn’t to like? Jensen… liked guys, Colin was a fine specimen. It wasn’t like Jensen made Jared any promises. Ever. So why did he want to go and kick Colin’s ass? 

 

“No, I mean, I’m not homophobic or anything. It’s none of my business. If he wants to kiss other guys he can. Who cares? *I* don’t care. Pffft.”

 

Giving Jared a very knowing look, Sandy crossed her arms under her breasts and whispered. “Well as long as you’ve got *that* all settled…you want to go for a walk…?”

 

Jared glanced back towards the living room but Jensen was gone. Shit. He glowered and then left Sandy in the kitchen to go find Jensen. He could at least say hello, right? Jared set out in his enhanced state to find Jensen and ended up in an empty bedroom. He wasn’t sure whose. He looked around and wondered how long it would be before his brain worked right again because wallpaper did not undulate. The stripes on the bedspread and pillow cases were running over and off the bed. He took steps back and ran into the closet door. He actually, for lack of a better term, fell into the closet. He had just managed to stand up when the bedroom door thwacked the wall and two bodies soon hit the bed.

 

Jared was stunned to see Jensen tugging Colin’s shirt off, attacking the other man’s chest and groaning as he was being jerked off. Jared’s eyes grew to new roundness as he realized he had found Jensen. Not quite how he expected. Not to mention, when he looked to the side, there was a poster of the Insane Clown Posse on the inner wall of the closet. He shuddered at the way the clown faces stared at him, dragging his eyes back to the bed. He heard them laughing low and suggestive, the way Jensen drug down Colin’s zipper with a whisper. Jared was in hell. He stared in wooden fixation as Colin pulled Jensen up his body, lying down as he had Jensen straddle his face- fucking his mouth. Jared had never seen anything like it. In his life. He was so hard he hurt. He whimpered as he reached down and squeezed himself through his jeans.

 

The couple on the bed was entirely unaware of their audience. Colin sucked Jensen off hard and fast, not letting the blonde pull free until Jensen was insistent. There was more fumbling, but Jared could tell there was some kind of problem. Jensen had his hand in Colin’s pants but they were idling. Despite their fervor, Colin was whispering to Jensen, “Sorry, sorry… I’m so fucked up… I drank my weight…then did all that shit…smoked a few bowls…”

 

“Why? Why? You knew I was coming… what I’d want.” Jensen felt denied. He never saw Colin anymore. Not since Colin started college at Texas State. It was a rare and fucking good treat to see the other man and now? Colin was having technical difficulties. Soused, doped and good for head but not much else. Jensen ground his teeth in frustration.

 

“Sorry, let me…take a little nap…then we’ll see…”

 

“Colin don’t you dare…”

 

But it was too late. All that build up and Colin was passing out. Correction, already unconscious. Jensen grumbled and then heard a sharp gasp as he wrenched his jeans up. He looked sharply over his shoulder and realized he had an audience. That was just the shit mint on the pillow tonight. Jensen moved back from the bed and was at the closet door in a blink, wrenching the door open.

 

He never expected to see Jared’s flushed face, the obvious line of an amazing hard on in designer jeans, or the way Jared backed up at the sight of him. Too bad. Jensen walked into the closet and shut the door behind him menacingly. The closet wasn’t huge, but it was as big as a pantry- big enough, that was for damned sure.

 

“You spying on me, Jared?”

 

Jared was almost incapable of speech and whispered, “Of course not…”

 

His words were cut off by Jensen’s palm going across his mouth. Jensen pushed Jared to the closet wall and stared at him, green eyes glazed with renewed lust and challenge.

 

“Shhh… be quiet, baby… you don’t need to talk, so don’t. You’ve got all you need right here…”

 

Jared groaned hotly into Jensen’s hand as Jensen stroked over him. Jensen’s fingers pressed roughly to the jeans covering Jared’s erection, plucking over the taut material over throbbing heat. 

 

“Mmm God… what’re you packing? This all you?”

 

The burr of his zipper made Jared almost lose his balance, but the wall at his back held him in place while Jensen helped himself to Jared’s needy shaft. 

 

Jensen was shocked himself, never expecting to find the golden boy in the closet, watching. Getting off on it. Jared didn’t belong here. At this party, in this crowd. Kian must have invited him. Kian was too nice, just like Jared. Yeah, they’d get along fine. Even if he was in the wrong place, Jensen saw no reason to let the chance go. He had his fist packed full of thick hot pink steel and it was good. Jared was not losing his rigidity. Not sleeping on him. Jensen smiled hungrily in the dark.

 

“You want to fuck me, Jared? You want to? I’ll let you…get you all wet and slip you in… make you cum…”

 

Jared was seeing stars and had to close his eyes. He whined in his throat and shuddered, reaching out with his own hand to grab Jensen’s wrist. He wanted to slow it down, not cum all over them both.

 

Hearing the sound Jared made, Jensen’s eyes went hooded from lust and he was hard again already. “Yeah…you’re fuckin me. You’re going to. You want to…don’t you? I’ve seen you look at me. You’re going to make me so full…”

 

Jared was on edge when Jensen’s hand stopped working him. To his shock, Jared was being shoved back into his pants, Jensen zipping and buttoning him. Jensen smiled at Jared’s dismayed look, whispering, “Colin wakes up he’ll kick your ass…and I’d feel bad about it. Sorta. Let’s go someplace else…”

 

Mutely, Jared followed Jensen out of the bedroom and into the bathroom downstairs, in the basement, like that was so much better. Neither one of them cared much. It seemed good enough, miles away from their starting point. Jared was in a state of shock having his cock covered in hand lotion before he was on the bathroom floor. He braced his back to the bathtub, the bunched rug under his ass uncomfortable but who cared? He pulled Jensen down over him, kissing him hungrily before the impossible happened. He was inside of Jensen. It was slick, hot, good. Tighter than anything he had ever felt before, Jensen was rocking over him and moaning like Jared was doing something right. Jared thrust up and earned a purr from Jensen, forcing himself up higher and harder until Jensen was gripping his shoulders. Fingers bit deep while Jensen took every inch and buried his mouth to Jared’s neck when he came. 

 

The hot splash of Jensen’s cum to his belly made Jared tremble and lose his control, his ejaculation stunning him in its intensity. He fell back to the porcelain behind him, wrecked beyond repair. Gazing at the orange and pink press on plastic flowers over the shower wall, Jared whispered, “Does it cost more to buy the twirly ones?”

 

Jensen was still catching his breath from the world’s most fantastic fuck when he heard the question. He lifted his head and saw where Jared was staring. “Huh?” He cupped Jared’s face in his hands and looked searchingly at Jared’s eyes. “What are you on, Jay?”

 

The question made Jared breathe a laugh and then whisper, “What are *you* on, Jensen? Still feels good… you want to go again…?”

 

Hell yes.

 

No.

 

Jensen slowly moved free of Jared, feeling the ache sear in him. It was worth it. He had gone so long without. There was no harm in getting laid. But it was Jared. Jared who he had done his best to avoid because he did not need to fall for someone that he couldn’t have. Would *never* be able to keep. Now he’d fucked a half out of it Jared on a bathroom floor and that was not the way he had…imagined things. In the frenzy of the moment it had seemed plenty romantic. Not that he was going to romance anyone. Jesus. Jensen needed to stop this right now. Get out of there. Jared was not an easy lay. Was never supposed to be.

 

“We’re done.”

 

Jared stared at Jensen and then pouted. With eyes that made Jensen feel like he had just kicked a puppy. 

 

 

“Did I do it wrong? Tell me how you want it and I’ll start over…”

 

Jensen wanted to say something to reassure Jared but that would put them back at square one- where he was making Jared feel better. Caring. Doing a lot of extra credit that would amount to nothing in the end.

 

“Jared, what you need to do better? Can’t be taught. I didn’t know you were a virgin. I don’t play with temps. It was good….you were good…but there’s not going to be ‘more’.”

 

Jensen stood and fixed his clothing, not looking at Jared’s face. He couldn’t.

 

Watching Jensen put himself back together, Jared put his sated and damp cock back in his jeans, feeling the flush of humiliation stain his cheeks.

 

“Fuck you, Jensen. God, fuck you. Who do you think you are?”

 

“I know who I am. Fortunately I don’t forget who *you* are. Keep it in mind before you get yourself into trouble…”

 

Jared had plenty to say back, but Jensen had already turned and left the bathroom, leaving him on the floor like something discarded.


	5. Chapter 5

Now~

 

The long corridor was painted in off-white, to take some of the glare from the fluorescent lights overhead. A small area was set to the side, a low table there, surrounded by a sofa and matching chairs. The people sitting in the ‘homey’ area felt anything but comfortable. The thin veneer of normalcy was not so convincing. The air was still sterile, the constant flux of people and emergency pages, all added together to reinforce this was not a place you wanted to linger. Every visitor waited, diligent and as calmly as they could, not wanting to be separated from the ones they came for. The Ackles family had become a constant fixture in the wing. They did not watch the television or read the old magazines. Keeping vigil, Maureen sat on the sofa, one of her daughters to either side of her and two more sitting in the closest chairs. It was palpable, their need for sleep. Comfort. Fresh air. But they remained out of love and fear. It was harder to leave every time and Maureen spent every moment she could looking over her sick little girl.

 

Chelsea had a weak heart. The doctors had explained it to a tearful Maureen as she held onto her son hard enough to leave marks. Jensen had been her rock, asking questions she could not make herself voice. What could be done? How could they take care of Chelsea? How dangerous, expensive…likely was a procedure that could save her life? Even as Jensen was asking, Maureen had felt like he would find a way. Jensen always found a way. He helped her in raising the girls, all five of her daughters followed Jensen’s commands like they came on stone tablets. Maureen knew he was a father figure as well as their brother. She also sometimes recognized it was not fair to Jensen. To have so much on his shoulders. She knew even as the doctor made a sympathetic face that her meager insurance was not going to be enough. She would already be paying out of pocket a good chunk of the bill just for Chelsea staying in the hospital.

 

There was no taking her daughter home though. Not as weak as Chelsea was. If the Ackles family did not have the money for the surgery, the hospital would not add Chelsea’s name to the donor list, and that was just how it was. There was no aid that would make the difference. It came down to not being able to afford to save the little girl they loved. Just not enough money. 

 

In the days after being told so pointedly what the hospital would *not* do for Chelsea, Jensen sold his guitar, his amps. He borrowed what money he could, but it was like throwing snowflakes at a volcano. Whatever money he came up with seemed to dissolve and the bills stacked up. There was still the household budget too. The other girls needed to eat. Have shoes. Utilities. He thought he could get a loan but that never happened. The board of trustees wrote him a very nice letter outlining how little he had and expressed their apologies for his station in life. That was how the letter had seemed to Jensen. He had to get money. Fast. Gather up something he had always hated and try to make things right. Wishing and praying wasn’t enough. He told his mother he would find it. He would find the money, somehow. Maybe the devil was the one listening when Jensen prayed.

 

Rose Padalecki was on the bank’s board of trustees, she was also an honored patroness of the hospital. She saw the efforts being made by Jensen and knew exactly why. She could have cried out in her pleasure when she saw exactly how to get what she wanted. What she should have had all along for the asking. Who did he think he was to ever refuse her? He had laughed off her offers when she had made it clear she wanted more than her automobile seen to. Her hand on his jeaned leg had been removed like he was knocking something foul away. Jensen. The most beautiful boy she had ever seen had grown into a gorgeous young man- a desperate one as well.

 

 

A phone-call was all it took, once she let him have plenty of time to panic and work himself up. She was aware of his endeavors to make money for his sister’s sake, all the while he *was* his own goldmine. He just did not know it until she told him. She called Jensen and laid it out. He needed money. His little sister needed a heart. Rose could give him the means to save Chelsea, if he was willing to make it worth her while. Nothing so base as just a lover. No, Rose decided, Jensen was an investment. He would prove interesting and awe-inspiring for years to come. Make her the envy of all of her friends. She was just this shy of putting a leash and collar on him. But then, these things could happen eventually. Once he was more tamed. She told him he had a chance to save his sister’s life, if he but knew to take it. Rose was not surprised he capitulated. It was life or death, after all.

 

Tiredly, Maureen lifted her head when she saw Jensen walk down the hospital hallway, seeing a strange light in his eyes. She was worn thin, but still a mother knew when their child was hiding something. He went to his knees before his mother and looked to her chalky exhausted face. She was a beautiful woman even in her distress, and he knew she needed to lie down and sleep for a week. Not go back to the diner and wait tables like a zombie until she could make her way back to the hospital. Finally, he could give her some hope.

 

“Mama…I need to tell you something… before the doctor comes to talk to us.”

 

Maureen saw how he watched her and looked to her other children. The twins were both sixteen now, sitting forward in curiosity. Madison and Josie, both had the dark blonde hair like their mother and brother, but their eyes were a deep brown, like their father’s. They had never seen their father, but Maureen remembered well enough. The daughter to her left was seven, her hair a wild red tangle over usually merry green eyes. Today, Jenny looked as serious as a judge, wanting to know what was happening. She had learnt swiftly that ‘news’ in a hospital or having to do with Chelsea could be the most important thing she had ever heard. The last daughter was Maureen’s fifteen year old, a raven haired beauty that was as intelligent as she was attractive. When Jensen came in the way he did, Cassidy was instantly awake and starved for something good. Some bit of encouragement. Chelsea was just a baby. No ten year old should ever have to be hooked up like Chelsea was. Have to be surrounded by scary machines and people that looked at her like she was a science project.

 

Jensen knew better than to take his mother away to speak to her privately about his news. It would lead to all of his sisters loudly protesting unless he put his foot down, and then they would obey but… he didn’t want to leave them out of this. Not really. Not when it was ‘something’ after a whole lot of nothing. He gathered his thoughts and turned his eyes back to his mother’s painfully expectant look- knowing she was bracing herself for more bad news.

 

“It’s good, mama. It’s good. I just talked to the financier here… and … they are putting Chelsea on the donor’s list. She’s on it. They’re going to help her. She is going to make it…”

 

Maureen almost fainted. Sitting down she still felt dizzy enough with shock to fall over. She reeled and stared at her son. He was telling the truth. Jensen would never lie to her or try to make her feel better with falsehood. He meant it. She croaked a weak sound but could not find words.

 

“How?” Cassidy asked, her eyes avid on her brother’s rigid face. She could not believe he had found the money. Surely Chris wasn’t doing *that* well with his band? Jensen and Chris had broken up again anyway. It could not be Chris and the family had tried every fund or program to be found. “Where’s the money coming from?”

 

“Is that so important?” Jensen replied in a tone so soft it made them all exchange worried looks. “What matters is Chelsea. What matters is that she’s getting her heart. We can talk about the rest later.”

 

Maureen closed her weary eyes and her shaking hand went over her mouth as she stared at her son in dawning realization. She had not understood his sudden turn of finding a much older woman attractive. She tried not to overly involve herself in her son’s love life but she knew he would never be attracted to Rose Padalecki. Jensen had standards, he at least had to *like* someone to sleep with them. Rose. Maureen saw the truth in Jensen’s eyes, but also a silent pleading. He never asked her for anything. Always gave. This was just too much for him to give. His hand squeezed hers and she pasted a smile on.

 

“Let’s go talk to the doctor. I can’t wait to tell Chelsea the news.”

 

She could not betray her son’s trust in her and call him out here and now- but they would be talking about this. Jensen marrying the woman was a shock, at first, but now the puzzle pieces were locking in. Her son. Her beautiful baby boy- and that hag. Well Rose was not a hag exactly but she was a viperous woman. Maureen stood and gave the impression she was fine, just fine. It was time to be controlled and calm, see to her daughter’s well-being. It did not change the temper inside of her. She was tempted to load her sawed off shotgun and go talk to Rose herself. See how romantically inclined the woman was with a belly full of buckshot.

 

________________________________________________________

 

Jensen told himself he was not hiding out. He was working. It was his job. On his day off, a man could go to work if he wanted to. He could not handle the long looks from his mother. She had confronted him and demanded to know the truth. He gave it to her. There was no getting around it, contract or not. He told his mother what he was doing and left her little room to argue. They both knew what was at stake. Or rather, who. Maureen was not happy but she was not able to sway Jensen. He would do as he set out to do. He could hardly walk across town now without people suddenly needing to talk to him, ask him leading personal questions or take his picture. He knew there had been some articles in the local paper, something in the society pages of a magazine. He did not keep up with it. He did not need to see what Rose was generating to feed the masses. All he could do was focus on Chelsea , his other sisters and his mom. If he could do that, he could get through anything else. 

 

Hearing the door of the shop-garage ding, Jensen took a second to reinforce his blank face before looking up. He half expected to see Jared. Something told him there was a storm coming from that direction. He knew Jared well enough to know the other man was letting it sizzle, burn and build before he would want answers. Demand them. Jensen was still trying to think of how to handle that. It would be so much easier if Jared did not still tie him in knots. If he didn’t want Jared so damned bad. He had never managed to stay away from Jared the way he should. There was something about those curved laughing eyes and the way Jared moved, so strong and tall- but infinitely careful of everyone else. ‘And I’ve been inside of him’, Jensen thought, feeling his groin flex in sensational memory. He looked to see who was coming to see him, knowing it wasn’t business since the main lights were off and the ‘Closed’ sign out.

 

Sandy. Sandy McCoy. Not who he had anticipated. Jensen took in her long measuring look and bit the bullet.

 

“Can I help you with something, Sandy?”

 

She did not appear to be in any hurry to throw rocks at him and leave. She looked chic, in that cute way that meant she did not spend hours deliberating over what to wear. A poets blouse over slacks, low heeled boots, her sleek dark hair tied back in a braid. Sandy crossed her arms before her, asking.

 

“Why are you doing this? Do you hate Jared that much?”

 

“Hate Jared? Whoever said I hate Jared?”

 

Jensen’s tone said it might be anything *but* hate. Sandy just found it hard to believe. The history, especially her part in it, spoke volumes in the silence between herself and Jensen. She tightened her full lips a moment, her words chosen with care. If they sounded practiced, it was only because she had said them so many times to Jensen in her head.

 

“You would never let me have him, Jensen. You destroyed us. Jared could not even look at me after that night…and you did it…and left. Like you just refused to let him be happy. Be OVER you. I worked so damned hard to get him back as my friend. My friend. You have to be one twisted piece of work. Marrying his mother. Does she know about the two of you?”

 

“No and she’s not *going* to know. I’d tell you to lay offa me but I doubt that’d work. You could think of Jared instead. He wouldn’t want you fighting his battles for him, sweetheart. Yeah, I got in your way. Get over it. It was a long time ago.” He was intentionally pissing her off. Otherwise he might start to feel bad and he couldn’t add on to his pile right now. “If you couldn’t wrestle Jared from the anaconda he married, that’s on you. He always had a choice.”

 

“Did he really?” Sandy glared at Jensen, wanting to throw a wrench at his head. For herself really. If she was honest, she knew good and well Jensen was not going to be sorry for fucking her over. Breaking her away from Jared so fully that there was no going back. “It would be easier if I hated you.”

 

“You don’t?”

 

He seemed so surprised that she almost smiled. 

 

“No, I don’t. I wanted to. I tried. It just never happened. I realized you were part of him first. To you, it was never about *me* it was him you wanted… you just… why? Why did you…”

 

“That’s enough memory lane.”

 

Jensen would not look at her, instead he set to washing his hands and arms of the grease covering him. He shook his head. “Why do you ask shit that you don’t really want to know? He’s taken now, right? Married off. Two kids. He’s got the whole nine yards.”

 

“He’s getting divorced.”

 

Jensen hurt his neck he looked at her so fast.

 

“He’s…what?”

 

Sandy half-nodded, watching Jensen with a serene expression. “He left her. He’s staying at the Hilton West right now…in Burnside. Not that you care, but…as a prospective father figure you might want to know he’s having some troubles. You could give him one of those sit down talks. Birds and the bees… How to fix a flat tire…Why you’re sticking it to his mom now instead of him. You know, the usual.”

 

“I’m letting that slide because you’re talking from an angry place. Your unfucked by Jared pussy. So… we’ll call it even steven.” Jensen smiled to her, seeing her flush at his words. 

 

“You’re a bastard.” Sandy had to be the one to look away first. “I think you should know… sometimes caring about someone means leaving them alone. Not making it worse. You should try it.”

 

“Stay away from Jared? I think I do better at that than you do.” Jensen knew what she meant though. He just didn’t want to hear it. “Where are his boys?”

 

“What do you care?”

 

“Maybe I’m just curious.” He hissed the words, hating to need her for scraps about Jared. He shouldn’t be asking her anything. 

 

“You know Jared so well, you tell me. Where are his boys?”

 

Point to the petite annoyance. Jensen nodded. “They’re with him.”

 

“You got it in one. Now I have to go. I have dinner plans. Give your fiancee my best. I hope you like monogrammed towels. I thought…if you divorced, you could always sell them as novelties on eBay.” 

 

“Suck it, Sandy.”

 

“Later, Jensen.” Sandy smiled and was rewarded with his own smile before she turned and left the garage.

____________________________________________

 

Then~

 

Sweat slicked, Jared was sure he was going to die and go straight to hell. It was Sandy’s eighteenth birthday party and he had promised to give her whatever she wanted for the occasion. He should have been more regulated in his offer. Some limits. He had no idea it would lead to him dancing for her at her party in front of everyone. At least he didn’t have to get naked. She was specific. He had been told which jeans to where, a long sleeved plaid shirt over a white wife-beater. Boots, big belt buckle and a cowboy hat. He was used to wearing all of those things, but not so much stripping it off and grinding to his girlfriend in front of every one of her guests. Still, they had been together for a happy year and some change now. He wanted to give her what she asked for. To make up for what he couldn’t change. She knew about his first time with Jensen. He never should have told her, but they had talked about everything. It just came out. Sandy was shocked, a little titillated and very sympathetic. She helped him get past the feeling of being used and left behind. Told him it was on Jensen, not him. Jared could not be trash unless he let it happen. It wasn’t a complete fix for his torn up heart, but it helped some. That was part of the problem. He only ever had some of himself available to give Sandy. Right or wrong, he held back pieces of his cantankerous heart for a complete prick.

 

So if Sandy wanted a lap dance? She was getting one.

 

He could man up here.

 

It was a simple thing to do to make Sandy happy, and when he walked across the room to her, the music pounding in his ears- she was happy. Jared had downed six shots of tequila before trying this gesture, and it served him well. He was loose and relaxed, moving in sensual rhythm to ‘Mannish Boy’. Muddy Waters. How could you go wrong there? Jared tipped his hat forward and down, smiling to Sandy over the hooting and yells of encouragement. He heard ‘take it ALL OFF’ but that was not going to happen. He kept his hips moving as he unbuttoned his over shirt, letting it fall open to rub the cotton tank clinging to his flat belly.

Sandy’s glowing face and screams were very encouraging. She bounced in her seat when Jared stripped away his first shirt, for a moment letting the material bunch at his forearms as if he was tied up. Then he placed a booted foot between her thighs, a quick grin to her before one of his madly beautiful hands was smoothing down his belly, cupping his jean encased cock in a teasing squeeze. Jared’s tongue was between his teeth as he concentrated on making this hot for her. He took the hat from his head, shaking out his hair and putting the hat on Sandy, tipping it back so she wouldn’t miss her show. Jared moved his hands to the edge of his wife-beater, slowly tugging it up, revealing his upper body before pulling it off, leaving him naked from the waist up. Seeing her eyes heat and snap for him, Jared was emboldened to unsnap the fly of his jeans, but then the song was ending. 

 

He grinned to Sandy, taking his hat back and shoving it on, he leaned down to kiss her fully. He grabbed the seat of her chair, tilting it back as he slid his tongue deep into her mouth, not missing her heated response. Drawing back, he grinned to her before registering all the clapping and stomping, friends throwing ones and change. Jared did a surprisingly graceful sweeping bow before laughing it off. He made his way through the birthday party guests, going to take a shower in Sandy’s room. He passed her roommates and accepted their applause with a little tip of his hat. That wasn’t half bad, really. If law didn’t work out, he always had something to fall back on. He laughed at the idea, going into Sandy’s room. Luckily she had her own bathroom. He put his hat on the edge of the sink and bent to turn on the water, let it heat to where he wanted it.

 

Jared never expected to have firm hands on his hips, a tongue rasping over his salt-slick shoulder. He tensed and then saw who it was in the mirror. Jensen. The person he was over. So over. Jensen looking like he had been the one Jared danced for. Aroused, flame-like green eyes stared back at Jared in the mirror and then there was the push of hips. Jensen’s hips nudging Jared’s body to lie over the sink. Jared naturally held the edges of the sink as he turned his head to stare back at Jensen.

 

“What the hell are you thinking? You got a thing for bathrooms?”

 

“I got a thing for you.” Jensen replied, as if he didn’t quite understand it himself. “I watched you dancing. Thought about fucking you to that song. How you could move on me…” He caressed down Jared’s sides and felt the shivers run over the boy under him. Sweet, good Jared. 

 

“I’ve got a girlfriend.” 

 

Jared had to say it. He just didn’t manage to sound like he *meant* it.

 

Jensen nodded, skimming Jared’s jeans down too easily, seeing the rise of a perfect ass, no boxers or briefs. Commando. Nice. Jensen cupped those tight cheeks and gently pulled them apart, revealing Jared’s tight entrance, whispering, “Tell me when you don’t like it… and I’ll stop…”

 

Face flushed, Jared bowed his head, disgustingly hard for Jensen. He should remember all the things he had decided about Jensen ‘fuck and run’ Ackles. Especially here and now. Sandy’s birthday party. Her fucking bathroom. He trembled as Jensen’s finger teased over his ass, sliding wet and soapy around his hole, dipping in until Jared was choking on how good it felt. He gripped the sink, moving forward and then, damn him, moving back for more. He groaned, hair fallen into his eyes.

 

“J-Jensen… fuuuuck… you fucking…prick…”

 

“That’s me.” Jensen didn’t care what Jared called him. He had just watched Jared bump and grind his way through a hot blues song, those hips and that belly moving like a primed sexual machine. The fact that Sandy didn’t come in to fuck Jared herself was proof enough to Jensen that she was a non-issue. Jared was all wound up, hot and damp, cheeks flushed. He needed to be worked out. Jared was clenching around his buried finger, taking it with choked soft grunts, urging Jensen for more and taking the second finger with a shuddering sigh.

 

“This is mine…”

 

Jensen heard himself whisper the words, shocked to hear them as Jared was shaking under him. He stared down at Jared and then tugged the other boy’s jeans down more, letting that big flushed shaft swing free. Jared’s cock was thick, ready, visibly throbbing. Jensen played in Jared’s hole until Jared was fucking back to his fingers, making the most enticing sounds.

 

“Anyone ever fuck you here, baby? Drive up into you? You got some yet…?”

Jared thought he might cum just from Jensen’s voice, all thready and dark. Asking him things he should never answer. Those fingers curling and rubbing inside of his secret place, like they belonged there and knew how he worked better than he knew himself. He closed his eyes tightly as a bolt of pleasure blasted in his senses. He quivered for Jensen, right back to the beginning where he was mooning over the blonde like he’d never seen dick before.

 

“No…no one… Jensen...God…”

 

A smile curved Jensen’s lips. He knew he was wrong to finger Jared, to have him flat to the sink like this, opening him for a fuck. He knew it would make things worse- but he couldn’t stop.

 

“Going to fuck you, Jared. It’ll feel so good. You can scream if you want to. No one can hear over the music…”

 

Jensen opened his jeans, taking out his cock and working his fist over his length rough and quick. He slid a condom on, having the mind to do so this time and then he was working himself into Jared. When Jared tensed, Jensen dropped kisses over his gleaming shoulders, pushing his dark hair aside to bite the back of his neck. He rutted into Jared, feeling the heat and grip, the pull of Jared’s hole coaxing him in. Jared was pressing back to him, hissing at the invasion but taking it. Pushing for more. Jensen gave more. He was deep in Jared when the door to the bathroom flew open.

 

Stunned, Sandy stared at the tableau before her. Her boyfriend was being… fucked up the ass… by Jensen. She was shocked, and moreso when Jared looked right at her, bowing his head and closing his eyes. Not saying a word as he was being taken. Jensen was the worst though. Jensen looked at her with a small smile. He laid a hand to the small of Jared’s back, pressing deep into the body under his cock.

 

“Jared, tell her to go away. Tell her it’s okay… that you’re mine. She’ll understand…”

 

When Jared was silent, Jensen pulled almost all of the way out, Sandy seeing how thick Jensen was, deep red and God, she was so wet. It was enough to make her grip the doorframe, choking out. “Jared?”

 

“Sorry, Sandy…sorry, so…sorry…” Jared had a look she had never seen before, no matter how often they had slept together. He looked drugged, wildly turned on. His eyes were slitted, his mouth full and panting. “Have to… it’s…”

 

Jensen pushed hard into Jared and resumed his rhythm, knowing she was turned on. He licked over his lips, keeping eye contact. He cupped Jared’s turgid phallus in his calloused palm and whispered, “This doesn’t have anything to do with you, Sandy, but you’d love it to. You want to suck him off, Sandy? He’d like that. Wouldn’t you Jared? She wants some… she wants it bad… bad enough to watch you getting ass fucked, taking my cock, Jay…”

 

Trembling, Jared made a pained sound and spread his knees more, arching his back. He wanted to apologize to Sandy. Get the hell out of there. He didn’t need this. He had so many things to say, but then Sandy shocked him. She was sucking him. Taking him into her mouth and not stopping. Jared moaned, trapped between them in a sensual haze. Sandy gripped his ass, her nails digging in. Jared turned his head enough to bite his forearm as the feelings crashed through him. Being fucked and sucked at the same time was enough for his senses to go into overload. He was moving between them in shallow thrusts, taking and giving. How could Sandy…? He could never forgive himself for doing this to her. Drawing her in like it was all a game. Jared scored his arm with his teeth when he came. He choked on a scream, feeling Jensen thrust fast and hard inside of him. The hot explosion Jared felt past latex, so warm. Jensen licked the back of Jared’s neck and maybe there was a kiss, before he was pulling free.

 

Sandy swallowed the thick milk in her mouth and stood unsteadily, pulling herself up by using the sink. She was ready to tell Jared they needed to talk when Jensen’s hand was up under her skirt. She stared at him in dazed heat as he rubbed her off fast and good. His fingers in her panties, unerringly finding her clit. He got her there, seeing how she needed it. Pulling his fingers from her clit, Jensen smiled and fixed his jeans. He did not miss how Jared quietly re-dressed, the dark haired boy looking like he was sleepwalking. Well, they’d all had quite a bit to drink. Not that it would have changed things from Jensen’s end. He wanted Jared too much to tell himself no. Jensen turned Jared to look at him, seeing the shuttered look in Jared’s eyes now that the storm had passed. The need was sated and guilt reigned supreme. 

“It’s just sex, Jared. Nothing to hang yourself for.”

 

Jared pulled away from Jensen’s hand resting to his cheek. He looked at Sandy and then shook his head. Sounding like he was crying, even if he wasn’t, Jared whispered.

 

“I’m so sorry, Sandy. Never meant for that to happen…”

 

“Jared…-”

 

Sandy wanted to tell him it was alright. She knew about him and Jensen. Had known. Always suspected it wasn’t quite over yet. She had never considered a threesome, no, but it was not the death knell to their relationship. In her mind, at least, it was just a moment. She reached out to Jared but he avoided her hands. He walked out of the bathroom, a certain hitch to his gait from just losing himself to Jensen. Sandy started to follow but Jensen went first. He walked out to Jared and saw the other boy pulling on his clean tshirt, showering could wait, it seemed.

 

“Hey, wait a minute, Jared…”

 

Jared gave Jensen an unreadable look before he was sitting to the edge of the bed to put on his sneakers, tying them in quick motions.

 

“You had your time, Jensen. That’s about it for me. I’m going home.”

 

“You seemed to like it, Jared. Getting a little bitchy for pillow talk?”

 

Jensen’s tone was mocking, but Jared heard the vulnerability there too. It was gleaming right under the bravado.

 

“You don’t get pillow talk, Jen. You never even make it to a bed.”

 

Jared got up and grabbed his jacket, giving Sandy another long look before he was out the door. It was the last time they had sex. Jared would not let it go, blaming himself for cheating on her. Telling her that there was nothing good for them when he could not give her all of himself. It wasn’t good enough. Nothing she said could change his mind. When he left for college, she tried not to hate Jensen for splintering apart what could have been. Was it her fault for trying to be part of them? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that Jensen had wanted her to know Jared was not *hers* and there was no doubt left in her mind. Not anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

The hotel suite was being slowly devastated. There was rhyme and reason at one point, but the boys were bored and Jared felt too guilty over things to yell at them to settle down. He sat at the table by the large kitchenette, looking up from his laptop every few minutes to say things that only another parent might understand, but it still sounded crazy to say to sentient life-forms.

 

“Hey, you get that out of your pants.”

 

“That is not where you found that Play-Doh , mister.”

 

“We are *not* calling everyone in Texas.”

 

“I don’t know how much you’d go for online but we can look up your medical bills over the past five years… that’d be a down payment.”

 

Jared was patient, but he was slowly getting the picture he might not be the best disciplinarian. Having a big blow-out with Sophia, he had taken the boys and gone right to a hotel. He certainly wasn’t staying at his mother’s. For a few reasons. What if Jensen had moved in by now? Plus, his mother was already messaging him on his phone to remind him they had a name to uphold. Sophia was from a *good* family and there *was* such a thing as marriage counseling. Jared took the time to text his mother back.

 

*There’s such a thing as homicide too.*

 

After that, Rose let him stew for awhile. She was probably waiting for him to break down and ask for help with his kids. She could keep on waiting. That was not going to happen. He already had Sandy and Tom saying they’d help him until he found a daycare he trusted. He didn’t want his boys getting an earful from their grandmother. Jared still didn’t feel he had it so bad. Maid and room service? Plenty of parents did without both. That reminded him though, it was nearly lunch time.

 

“Alright, cowpokes, who wants lunch? Salads for everybody?”

 

He laughed at their ‘ewwws’ and knew that would happen. Jared scooped up Tate and let his baby dangle from his arm like a wriggly handbag as he lifted the room phone.

 

“Start picking up your cars, Benny…They’re going to get smashed…”

 

Benjamin lolled on the couch, patiently taking the head off of his Transformer. He knew his daddy didn’t really mean for him to clean up. Especially if he didn’t feel inclined. Daddy just said that because it was what grownups had to say. Benjamin studiously considered whether or not his G.I. Joe’s head would be switchable with the robot’s. A worthy pondering as his daddy held Tate the Menace and ordered food for their lunch. The food here was good and Daddy didn’t insist on them sitting up straight or eating with a particular fork. None of that. This was like vacation. Their daddy was staying with them , wearing jeans and a t-shirt- which meant Jared wasn’t going into work. Ben was having a good time, really. Hearing a soft knock to the door, Ben rolled off the couch and went to answer it. He was not concerned with strangers or the like, after all there was no man bigger than his father. When he opened the door he looked up and then grinned.

 

“You’re Jensen. I ‘member you.”

 

“Ben.” 

 

Jensen smiled to the little boy and heard Jared off to the side asking, “Ben? Who is it? You can’t be….” Jared paused, a hand to his five year old’s shoulder, his eyes disbelievingly taking in Jensen. “…just answering the door. Go sit on the couch…timeout…”

 

It didn’t escape Jensen’s notice that Ben merely smiled and went back to watching cartoons as he sat on the couch. Not too harsh. Jared was not smiling or asking him in, not that Jensen expected a warm welcome. His green eyes fell to Tatum, seeing the toddler twist to get a better look at him, smiling wetly.

 

“I’m sorry I just came by like this.”

 

Jensen wasn’t sure what to say now that he was there. Jared and the boys exiled and trying to have their relative home-life.

 

Jared nodded and stepped back from the door, moving Tate to rest to his chest, one hand to his son’s back. He rubbed gently over Tate’s Towmater t-shirt, the little boy snuggling close to his father.

 

“No, we do need to talk. I just wasn’t sure when I’d get around to it. Come in. What’s in the box?”

 

The box. Jensen had almost forgotten he had brought a box of cookies. That he made. He was making some for his sisters and mama. It just seemed like the right thing to do to bring some along.

 

“Cookies? I thought maybe you’d like some. You and the boys. They’re not bad.”

 

Jared gave Jensen an unreadable look and put Tate on the couch next to Ben. He was trying to figure out why the hell Jensen would be bringing him cookies. Had he missed something? This was the same Jensen that had fucked him and now planned on doing the same with Jared’s …shudder… mother? 

 

“What kind are they?”

 

“Peanutbutter fuglies.” Jensen put the box on the table and saw Jared’s questioning look. “Sorry...I named em that. They’re peanut butter cookies with jelly in the middle… it makes them kinda globby looking but they’re really good.”

 

“You made them?” Jared asked, curious. He didn’t know Jensen could cook. But there was a lot he didn’t know about Jensen. No shock there. Jensen had always kept their encounters so brief as to be nonexistent.

 

 

“Yeah.” Jensen looked around the crashed room and saw it was like a herd of kindergarteners had taken over, not just two little boys with shaggy dark curls over sweet eyes. Little guys had made a war zone of the room. Jensen slid his hands into his pockets. “If you were getting ready to eat, I could come back later.”

 

“Once they’re eating, we can talk on the balcony. For some privacy and I can still watch them. It’s fine.”

 

Jared was not about to admit maybe he needed to hear another adult’s voice at the moment. There was something to be said for having someone in the room that would not try to climb the entertainment center or ask him about why they couldn’t just *buy* the animal shelter and save all the animals being shown on tv between cartoons. No pressure there. Jared saw how Jensen was not quite sure what to do with himself.

 

“Do you want me to order you some lunch? I can call something in.”

 

Jared’s inquiry made Jensen feel like the lowest form of life. Really. He was the last person Jared should try to do something nice for. He kept his eyes to the television watching one of those annoyingly high pitched cartoons on Nickelodeon. 

 

“No, I’m alright. I ate already.”

 

Since Jensen wanted to watch cartoons, Jared could wait. He had waited this long, after all. Once the food arrived, Jared gave Tate his bottle and then some warm cereal. Ben was fine taking care of his own french-fries and chicken nuggets, thank you. He didn’t like too much help. Jared made sure he had a clear line of sight on the boys before leaving his own lunch on the table and walking out to the balcony. He saw how strained Jensen’s expression was. He waited until the glass door was shut before leaning to the railing. Jared crossed his arms over his chest, giving Jensen an expectant look.

 

“Well? You come over here with cookies… needing to talk. Let’s talk. What the fuck are you thinking marrying my mother? Is it some sick joke? Your way of rubbing my face in ever touching you? Is that it?”

 

Jensen was not expecting the onslaught right away. Jared was apparently in no mood to slow dance around the issue. He met Jared’s narrowed eyes and slid his hands into his pockets. He let Jared have his space, even if he wanted to drift closer. Damn. It was like a magnet was buried inside of him. Always making him lean in towards Jared as if he lost whatever reason he had. Jensen sighed faintly and prepared to say *something* to Jared, but it seemed he had missed his turn. Jared was off again.

 

“Because I got to tell you, on the scale of crazy bullshit, this about takes it. I don’t get it. I heard maybe it’s money. Is that what it is, Jensen? You selling that pretty lil ass to my mother? What’s the going rate?”

 

Jared had the momentary surge of triumph flood him when Jensen blushed hotly and stared at him like he was actually piercing the armor. Good. After all this time? Jared felt he deserved a little blood. He bit the inside of his cheek, hating the side of himself that felt bad for Jensen. Not wanting Jensen hurt or humiliated, even now- but the anger and pain he held was still so real. Jensen was still marrying his mother. Jensen was still the one he dreamt of, but for what? So he could ruin his life and be broken because only Jensen could fill that missing place inside of him? Is that what he needed? More of the same? No. Let Jensen hurt. Let him choke on it.

 

“Jared, I know you hate me. I get that. If … if things were different…”

 

A flash of something lit Jensen’s eyes and Jared could have sworn it was regret. He moved towards Jensen then and grabbed the other man’s upper arms, gripping hard. Jared told himself to back off, but it was a whisper under the roar in his ears.

 

“If WHAT was different? What. Jen? Tell me. You tell me what I did that you have to… that you’d…-”

 

Dangerous territory was not even covering it. Jensen felt like he could cling to Jared. He knew, without a doubt, he could kiss Jared and not be denied. Jared would be livid after, possibly throw him off the balcony… but there would still be the taste of Jared on his tongue. Jensen took a shaky breath and then looked away from Jared’s pleading eyes. Wanting the truth. It’s all Jared knew and lived by. Truth. Reason. Right and wrong. Jared had that option. 

 

“It’s not you, Jared. I wasn’t doing this to get at you. I don’t expect you to believe me. Anything I got to say. The whole time I was growing up in this town I got called trash and worse for being a bastard and having a poor mama… but I never felt like it until you asked me my rates. No, don’t … it’s alright. I worked that out of you. I did plenty to make you say it. I just can’t back out of this. I … need the money.”

 

Ah. Jared was at a loss. He sensed there was more. He worked with damaged and abused kids every day. He could see it in Jensen despite the façade of invincibility the other man always threw up. Defiant, rakehell Jensen was not telling him anything. It was all surface. Except admitting there was money involved. Jared released Jensen’s arms, stepping back to keep from pushing that method any further.

“How much?”

 

Jensen’s cheeks were a ruddy red , his eyes refusing to meet Jared’s. He gripped the railing with one hand, knuckles bone white. He could not look at Jared. Never meant to mention the money. Or had planned to say he wanted a lifestyle change. Wanted to have cash to throw around for once in his life. Something facetious and meaningless. Instead he felt himself teetering on just telling Jared everything. But Jared didn’t need to hear it. This could be his gift to Jared. He could let Jared go and finally give it all up. Stop chasing the only dream *he* had ever had. Accept what he was given. Be the man of the family. Give Rose what was owed.

 

“It’s enough.”

 

Jared looked at Jensen. That answer was so soft it was almost snatched away by the breeze. Jared ran his hands through his hair and wanted to break something. He looked back inside to his boys, seeing they were both eating ketchup from Ben’s plate with their fingers, but that was fine. He could clean them up later. 

 

“Why won’t you tell me? You came to talk to me, remember? I almost lost my mind when I saw you up there like a prize bull being led around. You aren’t for sell, Jensen. You aren’t. Did my mother… find something out about you? Is she blackmailing you? Hurting you? God, please tell me. You can tell me. You can trust me. I swear you can trust me.”

 

The ground seemed shaky underfoot, no longer solid concrete. Jensen felt like his legs weren’t there to hold him up anymore but he had to keep pretending. The need to make it through this confrontation was enough to make him dizzy with worry. It wasn’t just himself or Jared. Chelsea’s face swam in his mind. Her tiny frame wracked with pain and need. He made a choked sound. Could he let anything bad happen to his baby sister? Because he was skittish over taking his clothes off for an old woman? Or out of love for Jared that had no place in the real world? He shook his head.

 

“I trust you not to like it… but it’s going to happen. Call me whatever you want. You can beat the shit out of me and I’d let you… but I can’t go back, Jay. I can’t undo what I’ve done. I’m just sorry I ever hurt you. Ever. I mean that.”

 

“Why did you then? You want to talk about the past instead of now…you tell me the truth for once. Why did you keep coming around just to kick my knees in?”

 

Jared’s eyes radiated the coiled pain he felt inside. Compression banded his chest and he knew Jensen was secreting things away. Locked down. Determined to make a huge mistake. Jared wanted some pound of flesh here.

 

 

Looking out over the view of the city, Jensen watched traffic instead of looking at the naked confusion and ache of Jared’s expression. Jensen bit into his lower lip, praying not to sabotage himself. Despite his long sleeved t-shirt and jeans, he felt exposed and it was what he always tried to avoid.

 

“My dad…”

 

Jensen heard himself, stopping and then starting again.

 

“My dad left when I was little. I remember him… I remember how he played with me. How he joked around. Let me play wearing his boots and put me on his shoulders. I never forgot what it was like when he just took off. He left after my mom had the twins. He said he couldn’t take it any more… and he wasn’t going to marry her and get stuck in this town. I heard it all. I knew then that he wasn’t ever coming back.”

 

Jared wanted to touch Jensen, but he feared if he did, Jensen would stop talking. Like waking a sleepwalker. He just listened, eyes darkening with sympathy as Jensen shared these things that seemed to be coming up slowly from a well deep inside himself.

 

“All my life I’ve been taking care of my family. It’s what I do. Even if I… thought of other things. Wanted … different. No, I wouldn’t trade in my mama and the girls… just sometimes… it’d be nice, you know, to have something for me? I’m sorry, Jared. Somewhere between fucked in the head and messed up… I got it bad for you. You were it. The boy I wanted. I just couldn’t have you. I knew it. Hell, the whole town coulda told me. I didn’t have to ask. I just kept thinking… every time I saw you, I’d make it the last time I felt hungry looking at you. This time, I’d be able to walk past you and not wonder how you’d feel. What you’d taste like. Only it never happened. I went crazy when I could have you… and it was like falling off the wagon. You weren’t meant to end up with me. You had your life to get to. You had school… when you left for college, I thought I’d die from missing you. All I had was seeing you sometimes around town but… it was better than you being gone.”

 

Jensen closed his eyes, ashamed of all he was spilling here, but after all Jared had been through because of him? Jensen felt he could suffer some from telling the truth. He had it coming. He waited, wondering if Jared was going to tell him how priceless he was. Laugh at his enduring and twisted love. Yeah, twisted was about right. It was like the moon falling in love with the sun. 

 

The softness of Jared’s tone made Jensen strain to hear him.

 

“The only person that could have told you about me and how I feel… is me. Was only ever me. I get to decide who I love. Why was I such a bad idea, Jen? All that we did… I never said no. Didn’t that tell you something?”

 

Jensen turned to look at Jared, seeing a compassion he had not imagined in those mellow hazel eyes.

 

“You don’t have to be nice to me, Jared. You really don’t.”

 

A response was on Jared’s lips but then there was a screech from the hotel room and his attention was diverted. Tate was throwing a fit, and Ben was standing by his brother, hands up and eyes wide like he had just arrived at the scene of the crime.

 

“Justasec…”

 

Jared was going into the suite, surprised when Jensen followed. He picked Tate up, seeing he had the cereal in his hair and over the lower half of his face, but that wasn’t enough to upset the baby.

 

“What happened, Benny?”

 

Benjamin tried for wide innocent eyes and then saw Jensen’s brow raise. Something about that eyebrow prompted the five year old to sing like a canary.

 

“I just smacked him one.”

 

“You what?” Jared gaped at his son. “You know we don’t HIT, Ben.”

 

“He was climbing all over me and I was watching Spongebob…” 

 

Jared sighed and looked torn. Jensen saw the loss of momentum and the five year old’s dawning reign of terror. Jensen didn’t mean to step in, but he had raised a passel of kids that were much louder than two little boys. Picking up the remote, Jensen turned off the cartoons, hearing Ben’s gasp.

 

“Jay, let me go clean up Tatum… Ben might need the t.v. off so he can concentrate on what you’re telling him about how to treat his little brother.”

 

Surprise was evident on Jared’s face as Tate held his arms out to Jensen and his younger son was being carried out of the room, down the hall to the bathroom. Just like that. The room was quiet. It had not been quiet since Jared had arrived with the boys, except when he finally talked them into going to bed. He slept with them and there was nothing restful about two kids kicking and crawling all over the place, but it was all Jared could think to do. Now he was looking down to Ben, seeing wide hazel eyes fixed on him in real attention.

 

“Sit down on the couch.”

 

Ben complied and looked tense as he whispered, “Is Jensen staying?” The threat to his budding power-base was evident to the small boy.

 

“No, he’s visiting. You need to listen to what I’m going to tell you. You cannot hit Tate. Not for anything. Just like I don’t hit YOU. I take care of you. I love you. You need to do the same for your little brother. You hit him and I’ll think you aren’t big enough to know better…and I guess I’ll have to treat you like you’re a baby too…and really, sweetheart, I could use a little help right now. I can do a lot better with you and me working together. You understand?”

 

Ben nodded and sighed. “Sorry, daddy.”

 

“Just be good to Tate. He’s your best friend and you don’t even know it yet.”

 

Jared kissed Ben’s forehead and hugged him before he saw the mess all over the table. 

 

“You stay sitting until I say you can get up. I mean it.”

 

Walking down the hallway, Jared heard Tate’s giggling and smiled reflexively. Nothing like a kid laughing, or a baby. It just got to him. He entered the bathroom and saw Jensen was cleaning Tate’s fingers of ketchup and various other sticky substances, making big eyes at the baby to make him laugh. It made Jared feel like he was looking at someone he had never seen before, as crazy as that was. This was Jensen. The same Jensen that had… just told Jared he had wanted him for a long time. 

 

“How’s he doing?”

 

Jensen smiled to Tate and then patted the baby’s hands dry with a towel.

 

“He’s good, all clean…even got the hair… a bath before bed wouldn’t hurt though. Baby’s are good at picking up dirt like nothing else. Ben alright?”

 

“He’s in time out.”

 

Jared wetted a washcloth and wrung it out, not seeing how Jensen watched his hands doing so. 

 

Jensen nodded and picked Tate back up, one hand to the baby’s back. “Do you put Tate down for a nap after lunch?”

 

“Try to…” Jared smiled ruefully. “He just doesn’t take it well…”

 

“Ah… don’t take this wrong Jay but…ah… you new at this? I mean… “

 

Jared blushed and sighed. “That evident? I’m used to playing with the boys. Taking them out. Seeing them once I get off work. Some of the ‘behind the scenes’ is… kicking my ass.”

 

“I can put Tatertot down for his nap. No sweat… then we can get the main room picked up. It’ll keep Ben busy…”

 

Jared stood in amazement as Jensen did just that. Tate was laid down in the bedroom, and after five minutes- Jensen was standing outside the bedroom door. He held a hand up to Jared when Tate first cried, but then the baby settled and was sleeping. After that? Ben was somehow swayed by Jensen into thinking it was the greatest thing in the world to pick up after himself. The awe-struck father watched as the many toys and messes disappeared, Ben actually doing the toy part. Jensen and Jared did the lunch mess, newspapers and remnants of breakfast smeared to the far wall. The room was tidy again. Without the maid. 

 

Jensen gave Ben a book to read and told him to take a break on the couch, adding, “You deserve it after all that hard work. Sometimes a man needs to take a breather…”

 

Ben had his nose in ‘The Monster At The End Of This Book’ as Jensen opened the box of cookies and tossed one to Jared. Jared ate the cookie in two bites and then tasted it. It was really good. Rich, but sweet and sticky. He had to chew and swallow before asking Jensen.

 

“Is this mess with my head day? What did you do… to… the boys? To get them to just… I think I might need a drink. After all you said outside now having the room clean and Tate taking a nap?”

 

Patting Jared’s arm, Jensen half smiled. “Old hat. I know kids. You can’t ask, Jay. You got to be the grown up. You need to tell them. Not mean or anything, but not like it’s all multiple choice or they’ll choose to go Lord of the Flies on you. Just nature. Path of least resistance. You are the dad. It’s what they want, shows them what’s up.”

 

Just like Jensen was the dad by proxy to his sisters, Jared surmised. Jensen had raised kids while being one. Jared looked steadily at Jensen and pulled him into the kitchen by his arm, a little bit of privacy there. He pressed Jensen’s back to the wall and looked to those compelling but warning green eyes.

 

“Tell me why you need the money. Jensen… you aren’t some playboy. You might be a prick. Obstinate. Emotionally retarded…”

 

“Hey!”

 

“I’m just saying…this still isn’t you. Why does my mother think she can… buy you? No, look at me… why? If I have to ask her I will…and believe you me I won’t be shy about it…”

 

Jensen paled. Thinking of what Rose might do, might say. How Chelsea might be set adrift because he tried to make things any *level* of right with Jared. He almost couldn’t breathe for a minute.

 

“Jared…don’t. It’s done. I signed… a marriage contract. All you need to know is… we both have to declare it annulled before it’s void. You understand? Both. So it’s happening. Please. All I want is for you to fucking forgive me… don’t hate me. I don’t expect you to approve or understand. You sure don’t have to come to the wed-…”

 

Jared’s mouth covered Jensen’s and the hated word melting between their tongues and breath. Jensen was stunned as Jared ground his lips to his teeth, that dexterous tongue twining around his own. The kiss was deep enough to fall into before Jared pulled back, lips damp from Jensen. He met Jensen’s startled gaze, his own as direct as a bullet to the gut.

 

“It will… never…happen. You said you wanted me? Well you should know… you’re who I mean to have, Jensen…. No one… and I mean NO ONE is taking you away from me again.”

 

“Jared…” Jensen pushed Jared back from him, thinking he had lost his mind. Kissing Jared with Ben right in the next room. Jared who was still technically married for God’s sake. Jensen shook his head. “Don’t do this.” Jensen walked away from Jared, going for the door- but not before he heard Jared say firmly.

 

“I mean what I say. You’ll see.”

 

Jensen shut the door hard, wishing he could stop his heart from beating so damned fast, like there was a reason to keep hoping.


	7. Chapter 7

Rose sat in her parlor, plans laid out around her awaiting her approval. Once initialed, then the arrangements would be finalized. She was very aware that Jensen was not helping her in this. Not that she needed him. His part was actually quite simple. All she required of Jensen was obedience and that, she had bought and paid for. He was coming to heel. She was troubled over Jared so blatantly leaving Sophia, but there was time to work on that situation after the wedding. Jared would keep. He was not a rash young man. Anything but that. As a boy, Jared had always been so careful, considerate. A little prince amongst men. She was not sure where he got that from. His father was just above a cretin and she herself was not known for being sweet natured. It had to be some genetic flub. She went over the menu for an upcoming benefit dinner and heard the door to her parlor open and then close. Her eyes lifted and she managed a tiny smile.

 

“Jared. What a nice surprise. Bringing the boys over?”

 

“Ben and Tate are with a friend.”

 

Jared went to sit across from his mother, giving an insouciant smile. He noticed the order forms, sketches and fabric samples. It would appear his mother was planning to take over a small country, not just the love of Jared’s life. He steepled his fingers together over his belly, casually slouched in the seat since he was wearing jeans with his button down long sleeved shirt. He did not feel the need to dress up for *this* conversation.

 

“How are plans going for the wedding, mother?”

 

She wondered what he was up to, but could not tell just from looking. He was seemingly pleasant. Jared could hold a smile until it unnerved her. She had experienced that before when he dug his heels in over something. 

 

“I am orchestrating THE wedding, Jared. The wedding of the year. I cannot exactly throw a barbeque in the backyard. It has to be lavish and out-do every other wedding in it’s range of notoriety. Does that answer your question? Have you come to tell me you don’t approve of my choice in grooms? I noticed you left the announcement ceremony very early. Pointedly early.”

 

“I have small children to take care of. Champagne doesn’t agree with them.”

 

Jared looked at her, seeing the lines around her eyes and how flat her gaze was, like marbles rolling in sockets. She was treating this like a merger or takeover. Not a love union. An acquisition. He had to be a little put off thinking of the fact that he and Jensen were the same age. How could that *not* disturb her as well? He tried for a passably attentive tone when he spoke again.

 

“I hope you aren’t paring down the guest list too much for the benefit tomorrow night. I heard from Sandy that the coverage on the dinner is going to be huge. It could be free publicity for the wedding. After all it’s hardly a conquest if not enough people hear about it.”

 

The pencil in Rose’s hand snapped before she glared at her son. 

 

“Jensen is NOT a conquest.”

 

She hissed the words and then stared as her son smiled genuinely amused over something.

 

“Not talking about Jensen. Talking about you having your big moment. The wedding of all weddings. That’s what I meant. The more it’s touted and shown off, raising expectations… the better it will be received. Sort of like the tree falling in the forest where everyone gets to hear it.”

 

Jared raised a dark brow, seeing her hackles lowering bit by bit. He wanted to tell her exactly how far he could see into her, but he was being careful with what he said. He had not called Ash Lindberg for nothing. Ash had gone to law school with Jared and now managed a private investigation firm. Jared was looking into what could be motivating Jensen and if that was pushy, so be it. Intrusive? Yes. But he could be sorry about it later. He saw how his mother reached for her crystal tumbler of sherry and had a deep drink for strength. Then she was ready to proceed.

 

“Of course. My mistake. It has just been so stressful. I am glad you did not come to undermine my wishes, Jared. I was not sure what you might think or do. It was sudden. The heart just cannot help what it wants. That is the saying, isn’t it?”

 

“I wouldn’t know.”

Jared shrugged and let her squirm a moment.

 

“So have you met Jensen’s family? His mother and siblings? Did you make sure to send them invitations to the wedding?”

 

Rose tensed all over again, hearing in his tone that he honestly did not know the answer in advance. She kept her eyes to the book of entrees before her, thinking he might get the hint and leave her alone. But Jared had planted himself like a rock, to fray her nerves and waste her time. Ask questions he had no call to ask, even as they sounded so casual and expected.

 

“I have not, no. I will not be meeting his family and they shall not be attending the wedding or ceremony.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

Jared’s voice was delicately soft, but there was a steel thread woven into the words.

 

His mother eyed him edgily before responding.

 

“Because Jensen wants them to be left out of his life as it pertains to me. He made that…request…”

 

“Stipulation?”

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

Jared almost smiled at her affront at being interrupted and even ‘kindly’ interrogated. 

 

“Was it a request or a stipulation? Part of…a very detailed pre-nup? I am assuming you drew up a prenuptial agreement before marrying someone that could decimate your entire fortune.”

 

Bridling, Rose took a moment before she waved one hand as if batting away a worrisome fly.

 

“It was something he asked… and I gave it. I hardly need to know his family. I have my own. Why so curious?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be interested in my mother getting married?” 

 

Jared was a little disconcerted with how easily this was coming to him. He was so angry at her that it gave him a control he could not have planned on. It was like his distrust and disgust with his mother fueled him to be able to say whatever he had to say to her. Draw her out. Divine the truth. He had a battery of fury to work from. He kept his face looking guileless, just staring at her.

 

Out of sorts, Rose smoothed a hand to her neat chignon and touched the pearl in her ear. He was making her nervous though she could not say precisely why. Perhaps she had built up his reaction too far. After all, it had been years ago that she had seen Jared kissing Jensen in the library. It was the moment she had both hated and desired Jensen Ackles. He was a threat to her son’s future, but what a beautiful accident he was. Rose was determined that Jared was going to never be with Jensen- but the boys had never really ‘connected’. Not dating or seeing one another. She did not believe they had ever been intimate either. It was just a phase. What was *not* a phase was her lust for the golden beauty of Jensen. Forbidden fruit. A bit of an obsession.

 

“I do not mean to snap at you, Jared. It was just a sore spot. But if Jensen wants to keep his family out of his marriage…-”

 

“Ah, *that* I can understand.” Jared chuckled softly and stood. He walked over to his watchful mother and dropped a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll be at the benefit dinner. I don’t want you to worry. I won’t disappoint you, mother. I won’t be bringing Sophia with me. Just so you know. It would be inappropriate considering. I’m sure you agree?”

 

Rose was sure she would say just about whatever he wanted to hear right now so that he would be content and go away. He was putting her on red alert and he had never done that before. Had to be nerves over all the work ahead of her. Jared was too dewy eyed and naïve to be a threat to her or anyone else. She nodded to her son and patted his arm gently.

 

“Of course. Your comfort is most important. We can discuss all of that later.”

“Sure we can.”

 

Jared nodded and then walked to the door, looking back to her one last time before letting himself out. He did not miss the sound of her relieved sigh once he was in the corridor. Oh she *better* worry.

 

__________________________________________________

 

Entering the office of the Tigerman-Lindberg investigative agency, Jared had to shake his head and smile a little hearing Bachman Turner Overdrive softly playing over the office speakers. No elevator muzak here. Jared was waved on by the receptionist, the busty bleach-blonde not lowering her cellphone as she was chattering away to a friend. He knocked on the door to Ash’s office and heard the loud ‘Come IN!’ before entering.

 

“Jay-rod!” Ash stood and came around the desk to hug Jared, pounding him on the back in greeting. “I knew you’d be coming by. Got all the patience of a coke whore needin a fix.”

 

“Saw the ride outside. Was that a *real* El Camino? I thought those were all repossessed. By the 80s.” Jared smiled, seeing Ash give him a long-suffering look.

 

“You’re lucky I even talk to you after what you put me through. Me cutting off my good hair and all. The El Camino is my last hold on life as I loved it. The El Camino is a mullet on wheels, man. Is it a car? Is it a truck? Who knows? Bermuda Triangle stuff there. Hey, sit down. Got a file for you.”

 

Ash opened up his laptop and began typing over the keys, seeing Jared was anxiously waiting for the intel.

 

“The only reason I told you to…maybe… cut your hair was so your clients might take you more seriously. You didn’t have to do it.” Jared grinned at Ash’s rude sound.

 

Instead of addressing Jared’s comment on his ‘do, Ash inquired, “So what is it about this Ackles guy? Why’re you and your mom both chasin him down? He got chocolate flavored cum or something?”

 

Jared made a face and laughed outright. “ASH.”

 

With a grin, Ash was satisfied he had gotten some face back. For himself and his El Camino. He hit print on his file and waited for the papers to come sliding out of the printer, fresh off the presses. “Just sayin. I don’t even know the guy but he’s all people’re talkin about. Makes me think I missed out. I can do dirty waif too, you know. Coulda been rich.”

 

“He’s not dirty.” Jared defended before noting Ash’s triumphant grin. 

 

“He’ll be dirty with your mom’s stuff if you aren’t careful.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Making a properly grossed out face, Jared accepted the warm pages from Ash and read over them, very quiet as his eyes scanned over every pertinent detail Ash had found. By the time he had read the entire report, Jared was tense with suspicion and outright… rage. He looked up to Ash, his easy grin wiped clean off of his face. “The bills for Chelsea Ackles? This says they’re all at a balance of ‘paid’. Was that…-”

 

“After the big announcement? Yep.” Ash lit a cigarette and put his booted feet up on his desk. “I had to wrangle to get those dates out of the bank’s network but I got some quick fingers. Soon as your mama branded him, he was paying bills the next day. Everything he’s spent the money on is down to the last penny accounted for. His debit card is hospital, utilities, groceries, gas. Not a single luxury item. I didn’t know if you’d want to see that or not. I can get it for you?”

 

“His bank statement? No… that’s alright.” Jared was experiencing a storm inside himself. He stood and nodded to Ash. “I’d appreciate it if…”

 

“Hey, say no more. My lips are sealed. I’m a ‘private’ eye…not a tabloid eye… so…yeah. It’s all in the vault, man. You know, if you want me to look into Sophia for you? I’d do it free of charge. Just to kick start the ‘Free Jared’ campaign.”

 

Jared knew Ash was asking from a good place. Meant well. He smiled and shook his head. “That’s alright. I’m going to keep it amicable. I don’t need to know anything else about her to know I’m done.”

 

“What happened, man? You finally get batteries in your hearin aid? She was always a bitch.” Ash was genuinely curious.

 

“She used to be better at hiding it.” Jared commented in candor. “But she only gets to hit Ben once…and she had her once. That’s all I’m saying about it.”

 

The cool breeze that came off Jared’s words made Ash nod in understanding. “Be seein you, Jared.”

 

“Thanks, Ash. For all of it.” Jared nodded to his friend and left the office, passing the receptionist and giving her a wave as she smiled to him.

 

_____________________________________________________

 

Peering dubiously into the pot atop the stove, the young girl eyed the muck bubbling away and then looked at the front of the box she held in her hand. Unlike the commercials, she was on her own making this stuff and no weird-ass talking glove had appeared to talk her through it. Which was good because Cassidy was pretty sure she would try to stomp a talking glove to death. That wouldn’t exactly make a worse meal choice than the one she was dealing with at the moment. She heard a soft knock on the door and went to answer it. The fifteen year old girl stared at the guy on the other side of the screen and smiled before she even thought about it. Whoa. Just… wow. She heard him talking and had to take the little bud from her ear, asking him.

 

“Sorry? Could you start over? I was checking you out and listening to music. I missed all of that.”

 

Jared blushed and laughed, seeing how candid Jensen’s sister could be. He cleared his throat, knowing she was Jensen’s sister. She might have black hair instead of blonde- but that attitude was all Ackles-y. 

 

“My name’s Jared. Jared Padalecki. My mother…”

 

“Is that old lady? The one Jen’s marrying?” Cassidy raised one brow, crossing her arms over the front of her skull and crossbones t-shirt. “You want to come in? I don’t bite.”

 

“Sure? If it’s okay? Is Jensen here?” Jared stepped into the kitchen and saw an ominously rattling pot on top of the stove.

 

“Jensen is at the hospital. Taking Mama a change of clothes and something to eat. Hey, are you hungry? I am sort of cooking. I thought I’d surprise him. So he wouldn’t have to worry about it when he gets home. But it’s not looking good.” Cassidy held out a hand. “I’m Cassidy.”

 

Jared took her hand briefly and shook it, surprised she actually gave some grip there. He moved closer to the stove and started to reach for the lid and she looked anxious, like it might attack. Jared looked at what she was making, asking, “What… is…it?”

 

“It’s…” Cassidy picked up the Hamburger Helper box. “Cheesy Enchilada?”

 

“Oh, no…I don’t think it is.” Jared was not being mean. He was thinking it did not look like any enchilada he had ever seen in his life. “What’s the pink stuff?”

 

Cassidy bit her lower lip. “It might be tuna. Because we were out of beef. I thought since we use tuna in the Tuna Helper…”

 

“Huh.” Jared did not know how to break it to her. “How about we order some pizza?”

 

That seemed to do the trick. Cassidy dumped her experiment outside in the trashcan by the curb while Jared called Pizza Hut. He ordered enough pizza to tide over the rest of the family, if they came home for it. He wasn’t even sure what to expect. He had come looking for Jensen but meeting Cassidy was still nice. He sat down with her once the food arrived and had a couple slices himself before he saw her speculative look.

 

“What?”

 

“Just…” Cassidy stared harder at him and then her mouth formed an ‘oh’.

 

“What? Do I have tomato sauce all over my face or something?” He passed a hand over his mouth and jaw, to be sure.

 

“You’re *him*. You… you’re…” She took a long drink from her soda before she said excitedly. “You’re the one in the pictures.”

 

Jared thought she might mean the candids that the press took of him sometimes when running articles about his mother’s philanthropy or his family’s history. He colored a bit and shook his head. “From the papers, you mean?”

 

“Papers? Oh… no. I mean… I don’t read the newspaper. But… you’re the one Jensen’s used so much.”

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

Cassidy laughed at his shocked and affronted look. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

 

She stood and took him down the hall, past the small but tidy living room and the laundry room. Jared was staring all around him, absorbing that this was where Jensen lived. Jensen’s house. He had never been before, not even once and now he was able to see it. Sense Jensen in every spot. Cassidy opened a door at the end of the hallway and Jared knew where she was leading him. Jensen’s bedroom. There was just no mistaking it. The room smelt of Jensen. He walked in after Cassidy, a little awestruck. So damned sappy. Standing there staring around him at Jensen’s bed, unmade. Clothes on the floor. Books. Lots of books. Framed art on the walls, most of it dark cityscapes but one piece…

 

“That’s…me.”

 

Jared moved closer, drawn in to look at the pencil sketch of himself sitting with his back to a tree, long legs spread out before him. He only wore jeans in the drawing, a cowboy hat flung to the grass nearby. The meticulous care given to sketching out the details of his body, his hair- his hands? Jared was amazed. The sketch seemed too well done to even be called just a sketch. The shading and composition made the piece seem so inviting, facing the bed directly it was relaxing and …happy to look at. Jared was transfixed. Jensen had drawn this from sheer imagination. The details were correct. Even the tiny moles Jared had dotting his skin, they were there. He knew he was being a little too into gazing at himself but…damn.

 

“There’re more.” Cassidy commented. “But he keeps them in his big folder thingy under the bed. I just recognized you… when you were scarfing down the pizza. He did one of you drinking a beer and it reminded me.” She tipped her head to the side. “Doesn’t it squwick you out that he’s marrying your mom?”

 

“He’s not marrying my mom.” Jared murmured quietly, finally dragging his eyes away from Jensen’s drawing. “She’s not a good person, you know? I am not letting him…do that to himself. Ah…” Remembering who he was talking to, Jared tried to soften his words for the sake of the young girl. “It’s complicated.”

 

“He’s doing it for Chelsea, isn’t he? Letting the old lady jump his bones and marry him for the money to save Chelsea.” Cassidy saw Jared’s surprised look and scoffed, “I watch rated R movies, you know. I can figure things out. God that makes me so mad… knowing that it’s true! That… woman… using him like that. I am going to go find her my damned self.”

 

“Cassidy…” Jared held up his hands. “I swear to you, I am going to fix this. I promise. It’s not going to happen the way my mother thinks. I have a plan.”

 

“Does your plan involve cunt-punting her? Because MINE does.” Cassidy seethed, seeing his eyes go wide before Jared burst out laughing. “What? What is so funny?”

 

“Ah…um…I just never heard… sorry. That term. No… I’m not… getting physical with my mother. Or hurting her. Not with violence. There are other ways. Just, trust me. I am going to fix this…-”

 

“Shhhh…” Cassidy held up a hand and listened intently before the ebon-haired girl grabbed Jared’s arm and pulled him swiftly from the room, closing the door. “Kitchen…now. I heard Jensen’s car outside…scooooot… let’s go…”

 

Jared hurried with her to the kitchen, feeling like a kid in the process. All things considered though, he didn’t need to be in Jensen’s room without asking. Or having Jensen there. He was still standing over the table when the door opened and Jensen entered with his sisters, the twins, Josie and Madison as well as little Jenny. The girls all gave Jared curious looks but the pizza caught more of their attention. 

 

While his sisters were getting pizza, Jensen eyed Jared and gave Cassidy an inquisitive look that she managed to bypass by helping Jenny get some food. Jensen took off his jacket, asking, “Something wrong, Jared? The boys okay?”

 

“Yeah, they’re fine. They’re with Tom and Sandy… watching movies.” Jared felt a little shy now. Being in Jensen’s house and not being invited. He shifted from one foot to the other. “I wanted to talk to you about the benefit.”

 

“The new wing for the library thing?” Jensen asked with a frown.

 

“It’s going to be a big deal. Everything my mother plans is a big deal.”

 

“O-kay.” Jensen was not sure what Jared was dancing around here. 

 

“Can we go outside and talk? For a minute?” Jared was conscious of all the feminine eyes regarding this conversation. It was like being a play for the girls. Dinner theatre.

 

“Sure.” Jensen patted Jenny’s curls and got a grin for his touch before leading Jared outside. Once they were in the backyard, he asked, “How long’ve you been here?”

 

“Just long enough to get Cassidy to stop cooking.”

 

“Thank GOD.” Jensen laughed. “It’s not her gift.”

 

“She’s a tough kid. Reminds me of you.” Jared sat atop the old picnic table, his feet to the bench. 

 

“Yeah. She wanted to be a hockey player for awhile and almost beat up her principal when he told her to try out for cheerleading. She’s smart.”

 

Jensen sat next to Jared.

“So…what’s up, Jay?”

 

“I am going to fuck my mother up tomorrow night.”

 

“Come again?” Jensen stared.

 

“You heard me right…but first…I need you to know something. There’s not shit she’s going to do to Chelsea. Shh. I am not done yet. Everything aggressive in this world needs to know and remember there’s always a comeuppance. Doesn’t matter who you are or what you think you can do. It’s karma. Chelsea is not at risk. Your family is not going to be hurt. I am paying off the money she gave you…”

 

“What?” Jensen almost wondered if he was dreaming. “Jared…it was millions…*millions* of dollars… I still have most of it…”

 

“Don’t be pissed off when I say this Jensen…but I’m good for it. Okay? You don’t owe her anything. She closed off avenues that could have helped you and your family. She did it on purpose to back you into a corner…Trust me. I know you want to be sure Chelsea’s safe…and if you trust me… I swear I can make it happen.” Jared’s eyes seared into Jensen and he reached up, resting his hand to the back of Jensen’s neck. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, but I can show you. You won’t have to keep wondering.”

 

“Is that what you want?” Jensen asked, not sure what the hell to think. Jared was… buying him out? To what end? Not so selfless, Jensen was sure. Jared had his own stake to claim. “Would you do this for just any guy she had on a chopping block…or is it just coz it’s me? What am I going to owe *you*, Jay?”

 

Hurt, Jared withdrew his hand. Jensen was not reacting as he had expected. Not looking relieved or thrilled.

 

“It’s not like that, Jen…”

 

Jensen slid from the tabletop and moved away from Jared.

 

“Sure as hell feels like it. You want to buy me out from under her and put me under YOU…I can’t stop you. You know why. You know everything now. Funny how easy money makes things when you have it. Gets you what you want.”

 

Jared steeled himself, knowing Jensen was confused and going into some defensive attack mode here. He tried not to let it get to him as it surely was. He bowed his head, his hair hiding his eyes.

 

“Whatever, Jen. Say whatever you want…and tomorrow night when the time comes, you don’t like the play I’m calling then you say so. I’m not withdrawing from this. From you. No matter how much you seem to want to be left by yet another person you honest to God care about.”

 

A sharp gasp was Jensen’s response before he turned and swept into the house, slamming the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

She used to think she was just scared of snakes, but Jared- like this- was giving Sandy another thing to worry about. She watched him as he was getting ready for the benefit dinner, not stopping her interrogation.

 

“So you went to his house? Maybe a little… intrusive, Jared.”

 

Jared looked up from putting in his cufflinks, a confused expression in place.

 

“I went to his house looking for him. He wasn’t there. He’s been to my house. What’s the big deal?”

 

“The big deal is your house… which was your parents’ house, is the biggest one for miles. It’s not like you’ve ever had to worry about someone judging-…”

 

“That’s bullshit. I’ve gotten judged *plenty* for that house. I heard it all my life. The house I bought myself is a lot smaller. Which is just as good since Sophia wants to keep it.”

 

He picked up his suit jacket, checking over it for any tiny fingerprints. The kids were like ninja-good when it came to getting stuff on him. He was learning to check for smears of wet banana from a Tate kiss or paint and marker from Ben. Couldn’t be too careful.

 

“Alright…but think about it, Jared. You get flack from coming from a rich family. He’s gotten it for everything from his parents not being married to being poor all his life. There’s a difference. You might not see it or want to acknowledge it, but it’s there. Think about it. It’s like the difference of being judged on your body. Yeah, awkward if people flirt and fawn because you’re hot and so maybe it’s superficial like a fat kid getting teased but there’s still a big fucking difference. You have to think of his feelings.”

 

Sandy checked over herself in the mirror, her dark hair still looking good. She fixed her lipstick, the rich carmine hue matching her silk dress. She could spend all night hammering things into Jared’s head if need be. He had to remember not everyone was coming from his point of view, damn it. Jensen had a lot to worry about and no one needed to add more weight to his shoulders right now.

 

Jared was processing what Sandy said, watching her adjust her breasts in her dress like he wasn’t even there. That was a good sign though. They had moved past the awkwardness of knowing each other’s bodies a couple years ago and now she barely registered his presence when she was changing clothes or doing that jiggly boob thing in her dress that was nice to watch. 

 

“I am thinking about his feelings. I’ve been thinking about him nonstop for years. I think I know what I’m doing.”

 

“Men. Look, Og, sometimes you need to know that just thinking about someone is not the same as acting solely on their behalf. You want him. You want him for yourself. This is not just you doing your good deed before returning to the monastery. You have a vested interest.”

 

Sandy turned to face Jared and pulled him over by his tie to fix the knot. He never made them tight enough or even. She nodded, smoothing down the tie before meeting Jared’s eyes.

 

“You’re a man. You need to remember how pig-headed your kind is. How many times when you were a little boy did you dream about being rescued? All of never. You want to be the savior. That doesn’t mean Jensen doesn’t have pride. He’s been the one taking care of his family. He did all that without you. He has his own life. Things HE wants. Not just playing the Padalecki Dating Game.”

 

“That was uncalled for.”

 

Jared shook his head. He was afraid she was hitting targets and making him rethink his approach. He had wanted badly to reassure Jensen. Set his mind at ease. Had he been a condescending asshole? Was Jensen feeling like the Catch of the Day or something? He frowned, leaning to the bureau at his side, seeing Sandy’s patient look. Calling him Og was her shorthand for ‘caveman’ and he was used to that. It was affectionate. Didn’t mean he had to like it when she was right.

 

“I thought I was making it better. He asked me… if I would have helped any other guy in his same predicament, or if it was just for him.”

 

“And what did you say?” Sandy looked expectant.

“I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have time. He was off and running. I was trying to remember whether or not it was okay to grab him and make him listen to me.”

 

“Way to not answer an important question.”

 

Sandy regarded Jared in kind exasperation before she pulled on her wrap. Picking up her clutch, she asked, “Who’s babysitting tonight? For the boys?”

 

“Jensen’s younger sister. I think you’ll like her. She’s… sassy.”

 

Jared walked with Sandy out to the main room of the suite, seeing Cassidy was sitting with the boys playing Candyland but the rules might not apply. Not when Tate kept jamming things into his mouth. Cassidy turned to smile at Jared and Sandy. 

 

“You two look all fancy. Once you leave we’re ordering room service...so don’t let me keep you.”

 

Chuckling, Jared picked up Ben to kiss his little boy’s cheek and then kissing Tate where he sat on Cassidy’s lap.

 

“Thanks for coming over at the last minute. I appreciate it, Cassidy. This is Sandy… one of my best friends.”

 

Cassidy gave Sandy a little wave, letting Tate suck on the side of her thumb, not grossed out by baby drool.

 

“Nice to meet you. Don’t suppose you’ve got a camcorder to tape the whole thing for me?”

 

“I wish.” Sandy sighed and wasn’t even sure what Jared had planned, but she had invited every reporter she could. She walked with Jared from the hotel, out to the waiting silver Rolls Royce. Jared held the door for her and then joined her in the backseat, automatically getting comfortable, liking spacious backseats for his legs. Sandy reached over and took his hand in hers, giving a soft squeeze. “The answer was ‘yes’, by the way.”

 

His eyes met hers and Jared queried. “Yes? To what?”

“To the question. Whether or not you’d help any other guy in Jensen’s position. I’ve known you for a long time. I can say unequivocally that if another man came to you with Jensen’s set of circumstances, you would do all you could for him, sex or no sex.”

 

“I haven’t had sex with Jensen for years.”

 

“But you want to. He’s not dumb, Jared. He knows he has that face and that body. He’s aware that you want him. That’s not… it’s not the end-all of making someone feel worthwhile. People look at him like he’s a living dirty magazine centerfold. It doesn’t make him feel good, you know? Just objectified and belittled.”

 

She explained the best she could, her tone soft and sympathetic. She let some of the words absorb in Jared’s mind before going on.

 

“I am not saying he does not appreciate your desire or want you in return. I’m just saying that just being wanted does not necessarily balance him out. It can be fleeting. Cheapening.”

 

“Hey.” Jared frowned and shook his head. “I’m not some ogre you know. I am not dragging him off and making him take me. I get that he’s pretty. I’m aware. What am I, hideous? Like I don’t know people judge by looks.”

 

“You have other things to fall back on, Jared Tristan Padalecki. Money, reputation, education, social status. It is not the same thing. People do *not* treat you the same way they do Jensen. You don’t go throwing your weight around but you are a rarity. With Jensen… his looks garner attention he doesn’t even want. Then he has the fallout of other people’s issues. Looking at him, judging, trying to decide if he’s just a package, how to get into him. Maybe it’s hard to understand but he has to know he’s more than that. He doesn’t want to be a rope knot you and your mom tug from both sides. He’s got more to him than what can be gotten FROM him.”

 

Jared wished he had a drink in hand. He sighed and studied her intently. “How do you know all this? Seriously? Why didn’t I know this?”

 

She leveled him with a look.

 

“I’m a woman, Jared. I’ve been through it. Having men eyeball me and their wives or girlfriends turn hateful because I’m ‘there’. Then knowing that glazed look in a guy’s eyes when I talk, knowing he’s watching my boobs when I breathe and wondering if I fuck on the first date. I know some of what Jensen’s going through- but on a different scale. I’m telling you what I can so that maybe you won’t haul him into your lap at the benefit dinner and make him look like the town whore.”

 

“I would never…-”

 

“Let’s hope.”

___________________________________________________

 

 

The invitation said it was a benefit dinner. It looked more like the presidential inauguration. Cars stretched around the building, flashbulbs going off as people left their vehicles at a stately pace, being sure to be seen. It was unsettling to Jensen. He was not growing any more accustomed to this lifestyle. He was not a fan of artifice and it seemed the order of the day. Making everyone believe the most shallow of lies and seeing them eat it up with both hands, begging for more. How could there be any real connections if no one was ever themselves? Just impressions or quick character sketches instead of real individuals that sometimes lost their carkeys, had allergies, didn’t care a flying fuck for classical music. This scene was the ‘Village of the Damned’ for adults. He just was not a good drone. 

 

There had been an amusing moment earlier, via Chad Michael Murray. Rich and spoiled he may be, but Chad was funny as hell. Drunker than a tequila worm too. Jensen had been standing in a small group listening to the impassioned woman that kept wiping away imaginary tears as she went into histrionics over abortion. She was so in love with the sound of her own voice , catching her stride when she added in how God loved every baby and what gifts they were. Not that Jensen did not love kids. He did. But he was not the uterus police. It was a choice. He was considering exiting the diatribe when Chad was just ‘there’. One arm went across Jensen’s shoulders, Chad leaning to him as he blearily asked, “What are we talkin about over here? Getting all loud and screechy…”

 

Sabrina Padgett gave Chad a reprimanding look. Drunk already and it was early. If he did not come from such a good family she would have just spoken ‘over’ him- or tried to. She took a breath and then said in a mournful tone.

 

“Abortion. The travesty of abortion and how it’s so accepted in this country to murder children…”

 

“Oh. Oh… yeah.” Chad paused to take a deep swallow of his Jack and Coke before he pointed to Sabrina, aged socialite and dried out old bat. “You know what they need to do about abortion?” He smiled as if he held all the answers of the universe and waited for a beat. “Take all those babies no one wants and give them to the government to turn into Super Soldiers. Yeah. Trained from birth to be bad ass…”

 

“Chad.” Jensen was leading Chad back as the guy started laughing. Especially laughing when Sabrina was going off on him and her husband was blustering and threatening the giggling Chad with physical violence. It was the first time Jensen laughed all night, pulling Chad away from the group that sounded like a chicken house in his wake. He had left Chad with Tom, not even needing to explain what was said. Tom just seemed to accept that Chad might have kicked off a world war.

 

Now alone, Jensen stood off to the side, outside the banquet hall, having a smoke. He would have smoked two at a time to keep more of his personal space but he didn’t want to run out before the night was over. He sensed that tonight was going to make a snarl of his nerves. He would need every one of his cigarettes. He knew he was being talked about, photographed. He was learning not to look over when someone said his name loudly as ‘conversation’ or just made comments about him. He kept his face averted, blank. Until the silver Rolls arrived. He recognized the tall form leaving the backseat, Jared waving off the driver as he opened the door for Sandy. Jared was the perfect gentleman, taking Sandy’s hand and pulling her from the back of the luxury car, smiling to her. Smiling for the cameras. They looked good together. Always had. Jensen decided he hated them both right now. The way Jared and Sandy’s heads were close together, their conversation kept private. Providing everyone an eyeful and new speculation on Jared’s divorce in process. Jensen ground his teeth. Fucking Padaleckis. Was it all for everyone else? Each gesture and smile? How could you not learn to be good at that? Give good face. Be skilled enough to make anyone believe in you. Want you. Jensen tossed his cigarette aside, deciding the air inside wasn’t that bad after all. 

 

Of course from his vantage point, Jared could not miss Jensen ducking inside. Jared noticed that surly look and once he had Sandy inside, he left her with Tom and Chad, going to see what was making Jensen so pissy right off the bat. They hadn’t even had a chance to talk since Jensen had left him in the Ackles’ backyard. He headed for the upstairs, knowing his mother had rented the entire building for the benefit. There were private rooms above the main hall and side auditorium. Jared heard his mother’s voice from inside one of the rooms and edged past that door, hearing her berate her personal assistant and makeup girl at the same time. Not a wise move, but she must be nervous, ready to have this over with. Jared started past the next door, deciding to check the roof when a hand shot out, grabbed his arm and jerked him hard into the room. Jared might have made a startled shout, but a hand fit over his mouth, stifling any sounds.

 

He stared at Jensen and saw the angry gleam to his eyes, leaning back to the wall behind him. He saw Jensen reach over and lock the door, shocked by this sudden shift. Jared tried to ask what was going on, but it was completely muffled.

 

Jensen smiled at Jared and tilted his head to the side. He moved to Jared, notching their hips together and pressing in. Giving Jared a hint of what he was thinking. How he had reacted to Jared since Day Fucking One. He maintained that tense eye contact as he rubbed his groin to Jared’s. Hot catch, grind, drag, repeat. Jensen licked over his lips, seeing the dazzling blaze to Jared’s hazel eyes, wide and flashed with arousal. Answering need.

 

“Yeah, you know what I want.”

 

He bit over the line of Jared’s jaw, making it hurt a little, feeling the taller man flinch, a groan vibrating to Jensen’s palm. He reached down with his free hand and unfastened Jared’s Hermes belt, wresting it away from the button he easily twisted, popped free. His hand slid past silk boxers, closing tight and predatory around Jared’s up-thrust prick. Jensen had trouble breathing when he was jacking Jared off, every jolt of pleasure making Jared’s long body shiver and jerk.

 

“Come on, Jay, it’s okay…let Daddy make it all better…”

 

Jared gasped to Jensen’s palm and his cheeks flamed bright pink. He licked at Jensen’s palm, sucking the skin and edging his hips forward for more. God, his mother was right next door. He pulled his head to the side, freeing his mouth from Jensen’s hand, whispering scratchily.

 

“Jen… stop…ssstop… my mother is…in the other room…all her people…”

 

“I give a fuck.”

 

Jensen smiled blackly and then he pulled his hand free of Jared’s cock. Jared thought it was over and felt swamped with regret over his big mouth, but Jensen wasn’t done with him. Jared let himself be drug over to face the window overlooking the front entrance. Seeing all the photographers, arriving donators and administrators. So many people. 

 

“What are you…?”

 

Jensen answered Jared’s hesitant question by licking the back of his neck. He pulled Jared’s slacks down in the back, and then tugged down the offending boxers that kept getting in his way.

 

“I’m giving you incentive, Jared. It’s good business sense, right? Let you know you’re making a sound choice in buying stock in me.”

 

“No. Jensen…no…”

 

Jared started to pull away, but Jensen’s hand pressed hard at his shoulder, almost pinning him to the window and then he felt Jensen sliding to his knees behind him. Jared gasped aloud as he felt his ass being bitten, the cheeks abraded with scraping teeth and a hot tongue. Shuddering, Jared looked down and realized he was visible from the street. From the waist up. The fall of his shirt hid that he had his pants down, but that didn’t mean he could stand there moaning like a whore for those strong telephoto lenses. All of that made perfect sense. Reasonable. He was going to say as much to Jensen, but then he was handled roughly, his ass-cheeks parted like a peach being halved before devoured. Jared locked his jaw and panted out the stunning sensation of Jensen’s tongue wriggling into his clenched hole, going up, snake-like. He pushed back for more and heard Jensen’s laugh, pressed to his wet hole. God. Jared gripped the window jamb, his cock leaking into his boxers, making the silk stick to his heated flesh.

 

“Jensen…-”

 

“No, not tonight, Jay…”

 

Jensen sucked Jared’s sexhole, drawing it over his tongue and dipping in again before tipping his head back to whisper.

 

“I’m going to be your daddy. It’s time you learnt that…You want me to stop? You don‘t want more?”

 

It was hard to answer that question when Jensen was digging a finger into his ass. Jared thought Jensen’s words might just get him there in an embarrassingly short time. Felt so good. Rocking right to that edge of cumming all over his own stomach. He was slick from Jensen’s tongue, feeling how his tight hole twitched and throbbed from the deep and piercing kiss. Jared barely turned his head, looking back to Jensen. God this should not be turning him on. He should be able to keep from wanting everything Jensen could and would do to him. Jared wet his lips, whispering, “I want it all.” He made a gurgled sound as Jensen slid a finger inside of him one and then two, twisting and flexing that hidden touch. “Jensssen…”

 

“Hm? What was that? Can’t hear you, baby boy…” Jensen caressed Jared’s curved ass with his teeth, digging in but not breaking that beautiful skin. He was so hard in his pants that he could barely move and the fabric stretched over his groin was pressing to his erection enough to taunt him. He loved seeing Jared this way. Taken apart bit by bit, holding it together the best he knew how but not able to hide how his body loved every bit of it. “Tell Daddy what you want…”

 

Jared’s head fell forward, his brow to the glass as he stared down at the busy street below. He hoped he was imagining some people looking back. Knowing who he was. His cheeks were vibrant with need and vulnerability, jaw set as he tried to keep from just fucking himself to completion on Jensen’s ceaselessly rubbing fingers.

 

“Want you…to just…fuck me already…”

 

“Hm?”

 

The bastard. Jared closed his eyes tightly, “Daddy.” He was rewarded with feeling Jensen’s fingers nudging and stroking that spot deep inside of him. Juddering a sigh, Jared whimpered. “Please fuck me…Daddy…fuck me…”

 

“There’s a good boy…”

 

Jensen tugged Jared away from the window, down to the floor. He reached down, getting his pants loose and pushed down enough to get to his cock. No boxers in *his* way. “Get me wet, Jared… real wet… like you don’t want to have to crawl downstairs…” He grabbed Jared’s hair and felt a sense of ownership that went bone deep, into every cell pumping fast through his veins. Jared was *his*. That mouth wrapping around his cock belonged there. Jensen leaned back, watching how Jared let his saliva drip and coat over the thickness filling his sucking mouth. Jensen groaned, eyes half closed as he felt the trickling wetness caress his aching balls. “More…Jay…more…soak me… God… fuuuck… yes….”

 

He could not have stopped if he had to. Jared was too drunk on Jensen’s taste. Having his throat breached as Jensen fucked into his face. Almost wanting more than he could take, Jared ran his fingers over the dip of Jensen’s revealed hip. He heard the loud slick sounds of his mouth, his own throaty moans adding to the symphony. His eyes teared at how Jensen pulled his hair, and those slivered currents of sensation raced down to his own groin. Jared heard Jensen murmuring his name, whispering for him not to swallow anything but dick, make it as messy as he could. 

 

“Enough.”

 

Jensen whispered the word and then he was pulling Jared up, kissing his salty sweet mouth with painful intensity. He tasted himself in Jared’s mouth, finding a savage pleasure in that. Pushing up Jared’s shirt, Jensen grasped lean tight hips and drug Jared forward. He wanted to see Jared’s face for this, up close and personal. When he pressed into Jared, he got to watch every flicker of feeling across Jared’s so expressive face. The slackness of Jared’s mouth when his eyes closed and he seemed to be melting from the inside out. Lashes moving rapidly when it hurt, eyes flooded with bliss as it got better. Jensen rucked up into Jared, using his hand bunched in Jared’s shirt to move the body over his own, fucking, being sucked deep into perfection. Jared was so tight, and he was not being as passive as before. Jensen lost his mind when Jared twisted and curved his hips, going up and down, hoarse pants punctuating his rhythm. Jensen wrapped his hand around Jared’s cock and he caught precum over his fingers. 

 

“Jay… Jay…shiiiit… you’re dancing for me…always knew you could…”

 

The memory was like a brushfire in Jared’s mind, making him think of Jensen pounding him, Sandy’s lips wrapping around his cock.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Jensen…”

 

The strangled whisper made Jensen laugh brokenly. He leaned up and licked into Jared’s ear, sucking at the lobe as he bit down. Nuzzling to Jared, he could not resist.

 

“You want to cum in my hand? I can be real careful… not spill it… maybe Sandy’ll want to lick it up. That what you want…? See her lapping up your spunk, Jay?”

 

As he expected, Jensen was being magically amazingly drawn deep into Jared as Jared was taken past his endurance, orgasming. Jensen did catch all of Jared’s cum in his hand, feeling himself releasing in a long fierce bolt into the clasping sheath around him. Jared was drawing in ragged breaths, staring at Jensen. To compound the aftershocks of his powerful orgasm, Jared had to see Jensen lift his clenched hand up. Jensen sucked and licked Jared’s cum from his hand, feeling it when Jared clenched around him in reaction. Jensen smiled lazily, licking his lips clean.

 

“Wasn’t goin to share.”

 

Jared shook his head, dumbfounded still. He slowly moved off of Jensen, feeling slickness inside of himself. Jensen’s cum. Jesus.

 

“You were the one that said it, Jen.”

 

“Yeah…knew it’d get you off.”

 

Jensen started making order of his clothing, rumpled but he didn’t care. Let people say whatever they wanted. Rose was not going to stop her campaign over wrinkled formal wear.

 

“Was it just about getting me off?” Jared asked after telling himself not to. He smoothed and tugged at his shirt, tucking it in as crisply as he could. He saw creases in his pants but nothing too damning. He knew his hair had to be the real testimony.

 

While Jared was finger combing his hair, Jensen refastened his belt, murmuring.

 

“Was there something else it was supposed to be? You said tonight’s going to be stressful. Thought it might take some of the edge off. Don’t you feel more… relaxed?”

 

“Don’t talk to me that way.” 

 

Jared looked at him and felt like he had done something wrong in going along with what he wanted. He saw Jensen’s guarded look and then sighed in frustration.

 

“I don’t see you as a pit stop, Jensen. You aren’t like a porn mag I pick up, use and drop.”

 

“How sweet.”

 

A ghost of a smile turned Jensen’s lips before he stood before Jared, their eyes locked and not overly friendly from either direction.

 

“Guess you will just have to show me, huh, Jared? Make sure I’m put in my place. Can’t have me saying things you don’t want to hear. Not with *my* price tag…”

 

“Jensen…-”

 

“No, it’s alright. I get it. We both know what’s going on. I promise I won’t disappoint, Jared. I might be new to getting paid for it, but I’m not new to *doing* it.”

 

Jared was impotent with anger as Jensen flashed him a smile that was completely at odds with the man that had been fucking him just minutes ago. He watched Jensen swagger from the room and only then did he punch the wall and leave a sizeable hole there.


	9. Chapter 9

Come on color me in

Come on color me in

Give me your blue rain

Give me your black sky

Give me your green eyes

 

(Have You Seen Me Lately, Counting Crows)

 

Everything was perfect. The guests immaculate, food excellent, every crystal glass shining in well set lighting. Music wound through the blossom scented air with sublime sweetness. Rose knew she had considered every last detail down to the beading on the chair covers, but still. She was on edge. For reasons she could not define, Jared was making her leery every time he spoke to anyone tonight. He was behaving with every ounce of his breeding and education brought to the fore, making it so apparent to her how quiet Jensen was at her side. Her fiancé made no effort to charm or engage anyone. Jensen kept his silence, barely touching his food and drinking too much wine in her opinion. She was not going to chastise him right away but later, there would be an accounting. She was not going to have people saying her young husband was a lush. He was meant to be a trophy not an embarrassment. Beleaguered she may be but no one ever would have guessed. She did not falter in her conversations, sparkling and benevolent to everyone she addressed. She could do this in her sleep if she had to.

 

It was just after the main course and before dessert when Jared signaled to Jensen. It was nothing more than a nod but Jensen fucking knew what it meant. He almost lit up right at the table. Shit. Jared was going to do or say something and there was no stopping it. Six foot five inches of sheer stubbornness was set on ‘dominate or destroy’. Jensen swallowed past the tightness of his throat, thinking of how hard he had fucked Jared upstairs. How good it had felt. Jared’s wide grin fitting around his cock like it was meant to be there. What a time to reflect on being inside of Jared. God. Jensen’s jaw rippled as he clenched his teeth, staring to Jared in fascination.

 

Jared stood, lifting his glass and tapping the side of the crystal only the once with his spoon. His presence, name and height made it easy for him to garner the full attention of everyone present. Press, professionals, pillars of the community and everyone in between working the tables and bringing out the courses. Quite the turn out. Sandy had done him proud getting all the ‘right’ people in the door and ready. Jared smiled as the conversations hushed to nothing.

 

“First off, everyone, on behalf of my mother and myself, I want to thank everyone for coming. It is good to see so many familiar faces and new ones.”

 

He looked over the expectant upturned faces and saw so many smiles. Expensive happiness.

“I understand that you are all here tonight to help celebrate and raise funds for our city library’s renovations, but I want to take a moment to show my support and admiration for another facet of our community… my mother, Rose Padalecki.”

 

Jared toasted his mother, looking to her as devoutly as a saint to heaven.

 

“For every sacrifice she has made for me during my life. Everyone she has helped so selflessly, wholly and completely. I know you don’t want details getting out, mother, but really, you have to let me tell them… at least one thing… just one?”

 

Rose’s hands clawed in her lap under the table, gripping hard as she had a demure smile fixed to her lips. What was he doing? Charming the entire hall, yes, but there was something in the back of her son’s eyes that warned her. She cleared her throat and murmured, “I’m sure it’s not necessary, Jared….”

 

“Oh but it is.” Jared maintained their eye contact, sensing people leaning forward in their seats, wanting to know what was stirring. “This woman, this amazing woman, would never want you to know how far she will go for the sake of a child in need. I won’t divulge all of the details, but my mother has set in place a fund to help area children in need of expensive surgeries that they might otherwise have to go without. She wanted to keep it quiet but I have to say, as her son…I have never been prouder to call her mother. Thank you, let’s give her a round of applause…”

 

The room echoed with the clapping and murmuring of many voices until Jared held up a hand to plead for silence again. His mother was frozen in her anger, like a deer in headlights. She gazed at him and wished she could slip out of the room unseen. That was not an option for a woman that had worked so tirelessly to always command attention. There was no quick exit for her. Jared knew, she realized. Somehow Jared knew about Chelsea Ackles. Her arrangement with Jensen. She wanted to look at her fiancé but didn’t dare, not when her son was speaking again.

 

“There’s more.”

 

Jared mellowed his tone, looking over the crowd before he bowed his head, taking a deep breath.

“When I told you about the depth of my mother’s love and sacrifice… I was only scratching the surface. I know most of you know by now that I am divorcing my wife. The details, I’m sure, vary… but tonight I feel like I can’t keep you in the dark any longer. I’ve been living with a secret and so far I’ve had the good luck to keep it that way… but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t live a lie or…worse… make my mother lie FOR me.”

 

Jared bit hard at his inner cheek, keeping himself on track here. He had practiced this as much as he would have a closing argument in a case he was arguing. More than that, he knew how to nuance, drop his tone so people listened more intently. Look chagrined and shamed but so damned hopeful. He should be ashamed to be good at this, but it was like acting in the drama classes he had taken in high school and college. It wasn’t hard. It was pretend. Just really high stakes this time.

 

“I have never been without my mother’s graciousness and generosity. She wanted the best for me. For all of her children, but as the youngest, I know she went out of her way to see to my well-being. I just cannot let her go too far, not even for me. You see…my mother discovered that I had given my heart to someone besides my wife. A relationship predating my marriage that I kept private, hidden away. There was a risk of exposure and my mother believed that it might come out that I was in love with Jensen.”

 

A shockwave went over the room, gasps and whispers rising like a tide. Jared let it build but the minute he was speaking again, he did not have to raise his voice. *This* they wanted to hear.

 

“In order to cover for me and try to protect me from what she thought would be social ruin and disgrace, my mother offered to stage a marriage to Jensen. To protect us both. She meant well. She wanted to make certain that the release of stories based on rumors or speculation would never see the light of day. But the thing is, I can’t let her do that. I won’t. I am not going to see this woman do something so debased and unworthy of her. Not for me.”

 

Jared met his mother’s scathing stare and heard the pops and clicks of cameras all around them. Freeze-framing this moment. Son to mother. He walked over to stand beside her and bent, kissing her cheek as he whispered. “He’s mine. Don’t make me prove it to you. You will lose.”

 

The kiss seemed so sweet, an erstwhile son pledging his devotion to his mother. Thanking her even if he could not accept what she offered. 

 

Jensen wondered if he was dreaming this. Jared had just constructed a whole relationship that he wasn’t aware of so convincingly that Jensen felt like it should be true. There was truth mixed into all Jared said- except for how benevolent Rose was. No Rose was fuming. This was well out of her control. Jared had thrown a wrench in her wheels so hard that Jensen was sure she was picking her brain apart as she smiled woodenly at her son. God she looked grotesque pulling that deaths-mask grin. Jensen saw Jared rise from the brief kiss and hold a hand out in his direction. Seriously? Jensen knew this was what Jared meant by backing his play or leaving him hanging.

 

Damned fool idiot.

 

Pushing back his chair, Jensen felt all the eyes on him when he walked over to Jared. He placed his hand in Jared’s, barely shaking his head. Jared could have fucking warned him that he was going to be making an announcement. Like that. Jensen gripped Jared’s hand and saw the relief flash in Jared’s eyes, under all that confidence and swagger- Jared had worried about being denied in front of everyone. Jensen felt a pang in his heart. Even if this meant he was officially insane, he wouldn’t do that to Jared.

 

Just holding Jensen’s hand in front of the assembled guests, Jared felt anything was possible. His mother might hate him, but she was trapped in her own web. She could not touch him. Say a word. Not here, surrounded by so many. She would never let on she had been deceived or cast aside. The mere breath that she was blackmailing Jensen? That could never get out. Jared knew how her mind worked even if her lack of heart confused him. Rose was not going to argue his words or actions. She was going to pretend all was right in her controlled world even if it killed her. 

 

Jared was absorbed in Jensen’s eyes, seeing shock there and also a dawning hint of… appreciation. Something that tugged at Jared’s curiosity. He had to wonder what aspect of his speech had raised him in Jensen’s esteem. Time for that later. He looked back to his mother and sighed softly.

 

“Thank you, mother, for trying. I just feel honesty is the best policy. For me… for my new start. I am not going to pretend any longer. I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but it’s time to make things right. Please tell me you understand?”

 

The bastard. The smirking treacherous bastard. Rose barely breathed as he prompted her to say something , *anything*, to deny him or what he was doing to her. Taking Jensen. Making her look like an accomplice to some hidden love of the ages. As if she was merely a mother figure all along, never Jensen’s lover as she had suggested to her closest confidantes. Now she seemed as if she had been playing a part and perhaps took her dedication to her son a BIT too far. She curled her lips back from her teeth, a smile growing. She had to fight to make words come through her anger.

 

“I understand, Jared. I want you to be happy. That is all any mother really wants. I might have been… misguided… in my efforts to protect you and help you, but I always acted in love.”

 

Creepy as hell. Jensen could not look at Rose’s face for this. She was giving him the jitters as she squawked out her declaration of support. He half expected to see hinges on her jaw and someone’s hand up in her directing her. He moved closer to Jared and his free hand went to Jared’s shoulder, his lips to Jared’s ear.

 

“Get me the hell out of here. Now.”

 

Jared nodded. There was enough fodder for the rumor mill for one night, along with photographs and witnesses. It was not going to be covered up or hidden. It was check-mate. He rested a hand to Jensen’s back and then looked to the stunned and titillated faces ringing the room.

 

“We are leaving now. We have things to discuss. Thank you all for coming and please… enjoy your dessert.”

 

That almost made Jensen laugh despite the circumstances. Jared *would* recall that they were leaving without dessert. Jared led him out through the exit behind the main stage and head table. Putting Rose at their back. Jensen wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but he never looked over his shoulder. Once they were outside, Jared hailed a cab. It was a relief to get into the back of the cab and start driving away from the scene Jared had orchestrated. Jensen saw Jared fling his head to the back of the seat, drawing sharp breaths. Jensen frowned, “Are you okay? Jay?”

 

Jared nodded, eyes closed. “Yeah…yeah… just breathing. Made me so nervous. Thought I’d puke or die. Not get through it all. Stomach hurts…”

 

“You were… nervous? When?” Jensen was openly astonished at the thought. He reached over to Jared and placed a hand to his flat belly, rubbing softly. 

 

“Where to?” The cabbie repeated himself, realizing the two guys in the back were oblivious to his presence. Dressed up real fancy too. Had to be rich. “Don’t hurl in my cab, buddy.”

 

A warning look passed from Jensen to the driver in the rearview mirror before he said. “2561 Maple.” He gave his home address and then looked at Jared, “Unless…? The boys?”

 

Jared half smiled wanly. “I’m a good planner. I plan what I can. Sandy’s going back to the hotel. I knew…we…you and I…we’d need to talk. After. I wasn’t sure what you’d say.”

 

“I would have to say you’re fucking crazy. God, Jared, why not just take out an ad in the paper?” Jensen said it softly though, his hand still carefully moving on Jared’s trembling belly.

 

“Could be retracted. She could have sued a paper and said it was hearsay and slander. That I never did or said any such thing. Had to make it bullet proof.” Jared covered Jensen’s hand with his own, staring to Jensen’s eyes. “Don’t hate me for it. I had to slash and burn, for anything good to be able to grow. I had to tear some things apart to make this happen. To get to you. I’m not asking anything from you…”

 

Jensen covered Jared’s lips with his own, a soft pressure to stall the words Jared always let tumble out like a bag of marbles up-ended. “Ssshh. That’s just for us. Wait til we’re alone, okay? For all of it. Wait til we’re alone.”

 

The ride was silent, but not empty. Jared stayed still under Jensen’s hand, feeling his nerves shift into a new direction. He was overly aware of Jensen touching him. All the things he had said in front of his mother, God and everyone in town. He wished he had time to call Sandy and ask how he had done, but no. Time to man up and just see where this was going. Maybe Jensen wanted privacy to tell him what a presumptuous ass he was. There were definite grounds for that position if Jensen decided to take it. Jared just felt a direct full on sneak attack was his best option. After all, Rose had removed fair from the equation the minute she had used Chelsea to snag Jensen. To force him into her bed and life like branding something wild. Jared felt what his mother had done made it okay to take the gloves off. His whisper to her had been a promise. Not a threat. A promise. If she pursued the matter or tried to exact vengeance on Jensen or any of the Ackles? Jared was more than prepared to take her to task and show her the folly of her ways. Jensen was his. He had not made overtly sexual touches to Jensen in front of her or all their ‘guests’ but he had claimed Jensen publicly. Blatantly. There was no room for doubt. Jensen was not going to be her property.

 

The cab pulled up in front of Jensen’s house and Jared was not about to argue with Jensen over who paid. He waited until Jensen settled up their fare and a tip, standing on the sidewalk a bit nervously. Jensen closed the distance between them and cupped Jared’s elbow.

 

“Let’s get inside. I want out of this suit. You?”

 

“Yeah, I’d like you out of it too.”

 

Jensen smiled at the whispered joke, shaking his head. “I think I have some sweats that will fit you. A t-shirt. At least until you’re ready to take off. We don’t have to be uncomfortable.” They entered the house and Jensen held a finger to his lips, pointing to the floor above them before speaking just over a breath. “Girls are sleeping. We can talk in my room. You want a beer?”

 

“Yes, please.” Jared saw that flash of a grin in the dark as he was unknotting his tie. He wasn’t sure why Jensen was amused but it was better than the Jensen that acted like he wanted his head in a basket. Once Jensen came back from the kitchen, Jared followed him to his bedroom. Jensen left the lights off at first, just taking off his jacket. It was well worth watching in the dim room. The roll of his shoulders, the way his clothing almost seemed to regret having to leave him. Jared took Jensen’s jacket as it skimmed from his arm, seeing Jensen’s slight surprise. Jared draped the jacket over the back of a chair, eyes burning to the outline of Jensen’s body. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Ever.”

Jensen unfastened his shirt cuffs before working down the front line of buttons on his shirt. He was not sure what to say to Jared’s admission. It always made him uncomfortable. Then he felt Jared’s hands going to either side of his neck and the lightest kiss was placed to his cheek. Jared’s whisper made Jensen hold his breath.

 

“Even in the dark, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I could be blind and I’d know how much I need you. I’m sorry I never knew how to say it or what to do… but I’m here now. We’re both here now… can it be enough? Can we make it enough?”

 

God, Jared. Who else could get to him so bad? Jensen slid an arm around Jared and pulled him tight and close. He could hardly think. So tempting to take the other man, the love of his life, to bed and forget everything else. But it wasn’t that easy. Not when it meant something.

 

“I can’t just be… your boyfriend, Jay. I don’t know how else to say it. What I can say. I don’t live just for myself. I have to be here for my sisters. My mama. I can’t take off or go out every night. I can’t just drop my life… and you make me want…”

 

Jensen stopped talking, his fingertips tracing Jared’s lower lip. He wanted to kiss Jared until he had made up for every harsh thing he had ever said to him. Damning himself for possibly closing every hope and way to Jared, Jensen still had to be honest. It had driven a wedge between Jensen and Chris that Jensen was never available. Couldn’t really take off for trips or go see Chris play. There was always something and all of those failures and disappointments added up and tore a hole through their relationship, almost demolishing their friendship in the process. Jensen didn’t want to do that again. Couldn’t handle it with Jared too. “I’m sorry…I just don’t know what I can even offer… after all you’ve done for me, I can’t even say what we could have… before you get tired of my scene. I just want to be fair. To you.”

 

Jared stepped back from Jensen and started to remove his own shirt, pushing his shoes off of his feet. He noticed Jensen stayed still, a shadow covering his eyes to expertly hide his expression from Jared.

 

“Do I have to tell you I understand, Jensen? Honestly? I have two little boys. I’m a package deal too. I get family. It never would have kept me away, you having other people you care about. I don’t want to steal you. Alright, maybe I do sometimes, but I want you happy. I want all of you not just some piece of you that you feel guilty giving me because it’s hurting you or your family. I mean that. You can trust me. You can, if you just… let go. Let someone catch *you* for a change…”

 

Lashes flicking, Jensen felt like Jared had seen deep inside of him. Somehow. Past skin, muscle and bone, Jared could read him like a diary left open to words too painful to re-read. He ran a hand over his face and got his bearings. He hated feeling shaky, new to the world because Jared was filling up the air with things Jensen wanted so bad it hurt. To have Jared and love him. Be with him whenever he wanted? Able to touch him and know him without being torn away once his addiction was embedded so deep that withdrawal would kill? Yeah, he could love Jared like that. Already did. Knew he was never getting over Jared.

 

“Alright.”

 

“What?” Jared asked, standing there in only his dress pants, hands paused at Jensen’s whisper of ‘alright’. “Alright?”

 

“Yeah.” Jensen was almost afraid to put words to the climbing emotion rocking him. “I want… to try. You and me. I want it. I swear…all the things I said…”

 

“I know.” Jared sounded like he was gentling down a scared animal. He undid his belt, asking. “Clothes? You said you had some for me.”

 

“You think I’m letting you get dressed once you’re naked?”

 

Jensen’s words made Jared smile but he nodded. “Yeah, because we have some more to say.”

 

“Jared, we can talk naked. Swear.”

 

“No…”

 

Jared said no and he meant it. All the way up to Jensen kissing him. He could not stop himself from kissing Jensen back. Being pulled to Jensen’s bed was the real miracle though and Jared gasped a deep laugh.

 

“What?” Jensen asked, a dubious frown on his face as he was pulling Jared’s damned pants off.

 

“I just can’t believe…out of everything that happened tonight…I am shocked to be … getting it on with you…on…a…bed. Kinky.”

 

“Oh shut the fuck up.” But Jensen was laughing, kissing Jared as he bore him down to the mattress with firm intent. “I’m fucking you until you can’t move. Just like I wanted to since our first kiss. You were made to fit me. Made to be mine…”

 

“I know…” Jared jerked Jensen’s mouth to his own, kissing him hard and demandingly. He might have protested at first, but Jensen was right. They could still talk naked. After. Definitely…after.


	10. Chapter 10

Not sure what time it was, he decided it didn’t matter. Not when Jensen was pressed to his back, teeth digging into Jared’s shoulder. How long Jensen had been touching him, Jared couldn’t say, but Jared woke up and felt like he might cum any second. The fullness of his cock was trapped between his belly and the mattress, a thick finger drilling into his ass in slow but insistent pushes. Jared gasped, hearing Jensen murmur softly at his sound.

 

“Feel so good inside, Jay. Tighter than you should be after earlier. Sucking my finger… I need you again…”

 

Jared rubbed his body to the bed and spread his knees for Jensen, moving back to the finger penetrating him. Waking up his nerve endings until desire weighed heavy and insistent in his groin and belly. He had never felt anything like it before. What Jensen did to him took him outside of himself. He was feeling like he was only whole when Jensen was with him, preferably buried inside of him. Joined as tightly as they could be.

 

“I want you too. Don’t stop… come on… fuck me…”

 

Jensen growled at the breathy command and then he was sliding another condom on, slicking over his demanding cock until he was as rigid as an iron bar. Ready to take what was his again. He pressed a hand to the small of Jared’s back, pushing him down harder to the mattress before burying himself inside the absolute heat of his lover’s compliant body. Jensen pushed deep until his balls were resting to Jared’s, feeling the silken rub there. He rocked within Jared, knowing when the head of his cock nudged over Jared’s hidden pleasure spot. Couldn’t mistake the all over shudder that rocked Jared’s beautiful frame.

 

“More like that, huh?”

 

The words were whispered but Jensen made good on his offer, being sure to hit Jared’s prostate on each pass, hearing the grunts and oohs that left Jared’s gasping mouth. It was fantastic. He didn’t have to rush or hide how badly he wanted Jared. How he *needed* this. Jensen gripped Jared’s ass in his hands, holding on harshly as he rode the hungry hole wrapped around his cock.

 

Jared pressed back to Jensen, surprising a shaky sigh from the blonde. Jared didn’t stop. It hurt some, but in the best of ways. Enough that an ache spread down the muscles of his legs, over his belly, warm and permeating. He knew he was going to cum so good from this. He had never let anyone fuck him but Jensen. Never even felt the urge. It was for Jensen alone that Jared desired cock, wanted to suck and fuck until he wasn’t sure where he ended and Jensen began. It was for *Jensen* he desired to be taken, and he could not have explained it really, he just knew it. He experimented with meeting Jensen’s full shaft and found a rhythm that made them both melt into frenzied, choppy sounds. Nothing more than the slide and impact of their union filled their attention, strong bodies working and straining towards that glow. When Jensen came, Jared faintly pleaded, not wanting it to stop. Not ready to stop, but Jensen’s hand was around him, working his cum from him like a tithe. They fell back to the bed, Jared falling asleep before Jensen had even finally pulled free of his satiated body.

 

Waking up slowly, Jared felt a warm body pressed next to his and smiled before even opening his eyes. One of his long arms was flung over Jensen’s waist, and looking down, Jared saw how Jensen’s own arm covered his, Jensen’s hand cupping Jared’s elbow as they lay together. Jared hummed a soft sound of pure appreciation seeing how the morning sun played over Jensen’s skin and hair, catching fire to the gold that made up his lover. Jared kissed Jensen’s shoulder and got a shoulder twitch for his efforts, Jensen turning his face more to the pillow. Fair enough, there were other places to kiss. Jared nibbled and licked the back of Jensen’s neck, smiling when a throaty moan reverberated from the awakening Jensen. 

 

Jensen opened his eyes as Jared’s tongue was on his nape, between his shoulder blades. Jared was intent on kissing down his spine and Jensen wanted to arch into the sliding mouth like a cat desperately needing petted. So long with Jared had left him craving every single kiss. Jensen gripped the edge of the mattress and shivered when Jared was biting over the small of his back, those powerful hands to his hips, like he was being held in place.

 

“Jared… sweet God… no warning…?”

 

 

“This is your warning. Your wake-up call, Mr. Ackles…”

 

Jared smiled at the husky laugh from Jensen before he killed that laugh by lashing his tongue over Jensen’s taut ass, teasing over dipping his mouth to where Jensen was so tightly clenched. Jared’s fingers glanced over Jensen’s balls, caressing the full heaviness, learning Jensen’s body with leisurely fascination.

 

“This is officially my favorite way to wake up…Who needs an alarm clock?”

 

The whisper from Jensen ended in a moan when Jared spread his legs, making Jensen feel so exposed. Should. Jared was looking at him, touching him as if there was nothing else in the world do. Wouldn’t it be Jensen’s luck that Jared’s tongue was as proportional as the rest of him? That long wet tongue that coated his hole and then wriggled inside until Jensen was sure he might cum without even touching his cock. He bit into his pillow like he was holding on, Jared’s tongue inside of his ass and Jared’s hand stroking over his cock and balls with definite care and skill. Never enough to make him cum, just enough the Jensen was on fire. He leaked hotly to the sheets, a thin stream of precum glazing his flared tip. Jensen reached down and covered Jared’s hand with his own, caressing over and between the long fingers of his lover. He smothered his sounds of pleasure, trying to keep his bearings.

 

“I need to fuck, Jay…”

 

Laughing softly to Jensen’s grasping hole around his curious tongue, Jared drew back and lapped the curve where Jensen’s ass met his leg, seeing that made Jensen shiver so prettily. Jared bit that juncture, a scrape of teeth and wash of tongue drawing more squirming and half protesting groans. 

 

“I need it too. Need you.”

 

Jared glided up Jensen’s body, his chest to his lover’s back, feeling Jensen grind to him in a truly amazing way. He cradled Jensen’s cock in his hand, pulling the other man tight to him, whispering to his ear.

 

“How do you want it?”

 

“Now.”

 

 

The abrupt reply spurred a laugh from Jared, thinking there might be nothing sexier than a needy and ready Jensen. Who had to wait. Jared looked over the side of the bed, in the pile of their thrown down clothing and bedding, searching for the tube of lubricant. He had used it just a few hours ago, but of course now it was M.I.A.

 

“What’s taking so long? Are you writing me a thank you note in advance?”

 

Jared slanted a look to Jensen’s impatient scowl and chuckled. “No I just can’t find the lube… where’d you put it?”

 

Grumbling at having to move when he was really comfortable and enjoying the friction of the sheets waiting for slow-poke Jared, Jensen got to his knees. He leaned over the side of the bed, moving things to help look, muttering.

 

“I don’t remember. I just slicked up and dove in… hey, here’s a condom. Thought we were out.”

 

During their search for the lubricant, Jared found chapstick, a Jolly Rancher candy square (cherry, which he kept and popped in his mouth) and some change. He was about to suggest they just settle for head, which was going to be really good with both daylight to see each other fully and well, it was *head* and you couldn’t go wrong with that- but there came a knock at the door. Low on the door.

 

Jensen flashed a look to Jared that was a mix of apology and frustration before he was rising, pulling on sweatpants quick. “Yeah?”

 

A little girl’s voice called through the barrier. “Jensen? I dropped my ‘tart in the toaster. It won’t come back out and Josie said I suck. Would you come and tell her SHE sucks? Cassidy’s in the shower.”

 

Jared hurriedly got out of bed and was pulling on his pants, wrinkled all to hell, barely in his trousers before Jensen was opening the door. Jenny peered at Jared and she smiled to him past her own trial.

 

“Did you sleep over? You hadda a sleep over, Jensen?”

 

“Yeah. Is the toaster still plugged in?” Jensen picked his youngest sister up and started towards the kitchen.

 

“I don’t know.” Jenny replied, looking at Jared as the tall man entered the hallway, blushing at her close scrutiny. The little girl was just very taken aback. “Jensen didn’t have nobody over since Chris.”

 

“Ah.” Jared was not sure what to say to that and felt out of sorts. “That’s nice.”

 

By then they were in the kitchen. The twin sisters were at the table, Josie reading a copy of Cosmopolitan while Madison talked on the phone, eating her bowl of cereal. Jensen kicked the leg of Josie’s chair in passing.

 

“Thanks for not helping Jenny. Real good of you, Jo.”

 

Josie rolled her eyes, the epitome of the put-upon teenager before she tossed her hair back with a careless hand, not looking up from a fascinating article on lip glosses for spring.

 

“I told her to just have cereal. She should be smart enough to work a toaster.”

 

Jensen spared Josie a death look before he unplugged the smoking toaster and dumped its contents into the steel sink. He saw Jenny’s hopeful look at the charred remains.

 

“Sorry, kiddo, your tart didn’t make it. We’ll put another one in.”

 

Jensen was embarrassed over Jared hearing about Chris, even if that didn’t make much sense. Chris had nothing to do with Jared. It wasn’t like Jensen had ever seen them both at the same time. Having a good long morning fuck interrupted was not terribly surprising to Jensen, but he had to wonder if Jared was annoyed by it. Jensen cleaned out the toaster and then plugged it back in, putting in a fresh pack of Poptarts for Jenny.

 

“Coffee, Jay?”

 

Nodding, Jared was now being looked at by the blonde twins as they realized he was there. They had not even glanced his way before he was mentioned but now he was the cause of their eyes widening before they looked at each other and then to their elder brother.

 

“Jaaay.” Madison smiled and then to her phone, “Oh just Jensen’s friend. Yeah. No you haven’t met him but you know who he is… yeah *that* Jared…”

 

“Madison.” Jensen barked her name and his younger sister blithely sighed, stood and wandered from the room to gossip in private over the phone. Shaking his head, Jensen started filling the carafe for the coffeemaker. “Sorry. She’s just sure you want your business all over town.”

 

“Are you dating?” Josie asked conversationally, her dark eyes doelike. She thought Jared was just absolutely beautiful. She really hoped he made Jensen buy some new clothes too. Or better, took her brother on a shopping spree. “Is it serious?”

 

“You don’t have to answer any of her questions.” Jensen reassured Jared and then took Jenny’s Poptarts from the toaster, putting them on a saucer for her. “Juice or milk, Jenny?” Pouring her a glass of requested apple juice, Jensen held up the pitcher. “Want some, Jared?”

 

“Yes please.” Jared was really glad he was fully clothed because Josie was studying him like he might do something interesting any second now. He felt like a let down just leaning to the islander and drinking his juice.

 

Munching into her tart, Jenny sat at the kitchen table, thinking of Jensen having Jared over. She swallowed her bite of food before asking. “Are you going to have a sleepover with Jared *and* Chris, Jensen? Because the more people is more funner.”

 

The blush that climbed over Jensen’s face was priceless and Jared coughed to cover a laugh, not wanting to make it worse. 

 

“No, Jenny. We’re not doing that. Eat your breakfast. Did Ma leave for work already?”

 

Josie grinned to her older brother, going back to her magazine before he might order her to find something useful to do. “Yep. Why, you have something to tell her? Like…you aren’t marrying that old lady… but you might be having more ‘sleepovers’…?”

 

Since the ‘old lady’ was his mother, Jared blushed that time and was glad to see the coffee was almost done. He needed coffee. Girls were much more complicated than boys and they seemed to have a very sophisticated system for extracting information and doling out humiliation.

 

Jensen eyed Josie . “You need to mow the yard today. You do the front, Madison can do the back. Today. Before you go anywhere or do anything else. Understood?”

 

“Yes master.” Josie shrugged as if it didn’t bug her to have to work outside. She hated it and he knew it. Hence mowing the yard. “What does Cassidy have to do?”

 

“Be awesome.” Cassidy retorted, entering the kitchen as one of the Barbies was acting like it was a fate worse than death to mow the yard. Cass grinned to Jared and got a smile in return before she was opening the fridge. “I need to put the book shelf together for Chelsea’s room and then do the vacuuming because some messy bitches had popcorn the other night and managed to miss their giant-ass mouths in the process.”

 

Josie shot her sister a look and then set about pretending she was the only one in the room, reading her magazine with a huff.

 

Cassidy wriggled her brows to Jensen as she got her own coffee cup from the cabinet, amused at how he ducked his head. She wasn’t going to embarrass him too much but she wanted to crow in victory. Jared was there. In the *morning* which meant he stayed the night. Cass had hoped for that when Sandy came over to the hotel suite to be with Ben and Tate. Her brother looked all cute being shy. She nudged Jensen with her elbow and then fixed her cup of coffee, moving aside to give Jared room to do the same. 

 

“Wow. I slept like a baby last night. The boys behaved really well, Jared. In case you wondered. They were good.”

 

“Good to hear. They can be little terrors.” Jared relaxed getting to talk about his sons. It was better than sleepover chat. Thinking of Ben and Tate though, Jared glanced to the clock on the wall. He saw Jensen’s minimal nod. “I’m sorry I need to be taking off…”

 

“It’s alright. I understand.” Jensen kissed Jared’s coffee-warm lips and smiled to him. “I’m trying not to say ‘call me’.”

 

Jared nodded, putting his empty mug aside before resting a hand to Jensen’s lower back, pulling him close to kiss him again. No open mouthed hot kiss, just a sweet meeting of their lips. “I’ll call you. You might want to be careful going out today. I’m betting there’ll be photographers. Don’t be surprised if people know I was here. I’m sorry…I didn’t think about it last night.”

 

“I don’t care about other people or what they think.” Jensen responded with firmness in his tone. “Not really… except for you.”

 

About to say something truly sappy, Jared just nodded instead. He kissed Jensen’s cheek. “I’ll call.” He gave the girls a little wave before heading back to Jensen’s bedroom to retrieve the rest of his clothing. He was not in there a minute before Jensen joined him. Grabbed him, turning Jared to seal their mouths together and make Jared drop the shoe he had been about to put on. Jensen laughed into Jared’s mouth , eyes searching.

 

“I just wanted to kiss you goodbye without an audience.”

 

Jared nodded, ruffled, rumpled and so ready to go again. But he had to see to his sons, deal with the fallout from last night. He knew his mother and wife were both waiting, probably joining forces like any evil villains would. An alliance of bitchiness. 

 

“I wanted to kiss you too.”

 

“You never said anything about that.” Jensen nodded towards the wall. ‘That’ being the drawing of Jared under the tree. There was no way Jared missed it since it faced the bed and all. “Not weirded out?”

 

“Are you serious?” Jared shook his head, not about to tell Jensen he had been in his room before. That was so not a good move. “I love it. It shows me…you thought of me. You had me in your mind and you made something beautiful. How long’ve you had it up there?”

 

“Awhile.” Jensen was not going to say how long or that it had caused a rift with more than one boyfriend in passing. It wasn’t Jensen’s fault Jared had a recognizable face. That he was well known and there was no mistaking the model for the portrait. He just never could make himself take it down once it was up, right or wrong. “You want to maybe meet for dinner later? We could go out of town. Take the boys?”

 

“Yeah? That sounds good to me. Get away for a little bit. I’ll call.” Jared kissed Jensen again and then made himself leave for good before he started kissing Jensen again.

 

___________________________________________________

 

 

Jared was not one to waste time once he had a goal. His first stop was the hotel to shower and change into fresh clothes. He knew fully that his mother was anticipating seeing him today. He had never run from her- but then he had never openly challenged her either, let alone publicly besting her. She was going to be in attack mode and he nearly sympathized with his father for cheating on and divorcing her. That might be a little harsh but Jared recalled many times his father’s fallen expression after Rose said something in Gerald’s ear. Or corrected him in front of others. It had to have been miserable, but Gerald had always kept that to himself. At least until he divorced and moved away with another woman. Jared winced, considering calling his father. Maybe later. He had enough to do at the moment.

 

He went to Sandy’s and picked up his sons, fielding Sandy’s questions as best he could with little ears there. He knew, as his longtime friend, she was rabidly curious, but he did not have time to dish at the moment. He promised her a long phonecall later before she released him from her custody in her drive way. Next, Jared took his sons out for lunch and then to the park. His mother could wait. Sophia could wait. His message inbox on his phone was full and he nearly left it that way- but what if Jensen tried to call? With that thought in mind, Jared started going through his messages and deleting most of them, since he was going to talk to his mother face to face, same with Sophia. There was no need to play phone tag. He did not have the patience for it. He cleared out his phone , watching his boys run circles around each other. Tate tried so hard to keep up with Ben, emulating his brother all he could. 

 

Would Sophia try to fight him for custody?

 

Jared could not imagine she would. She barely liked having the boys around her. But maybe out of spite? He sighed and set the line of his jaw. If she made any such attempt he would fight her tooth and nail. He put his phone away and went to play with his sons. He tired them out, keeping up with them and making sure they had all his attention. He wasn’t sure how they would react to the divorce, but they had not asked for their mommy even once yet. No wondering where she was or when she was coming back. That couldn’t be a good vote of confidence for her parenting abilities. After the park, Jared took the boys back to the hotel room for baths. Tate was down for his nap as Jared sat on the couch, Ben in his arms as they sprawled out, channel surfing until they agreed to watch a shark documentary. Ben tried to keep his eyes awake since he wasn’t a baby, but the steady drumming of his daddy’s heartbeat undermined the little boy. He nodded off as he lay to Jared, feeling very safe with his father’s hand covering his back. Jared watched his son sleeping and was about to go the same route when there was a banging at the door of the suite. Jared gently placed Ben to the couch and patted his groggy son’s belly.

 

“It’s okay, honey, I’ll go see who it is. Everything’s fine…”

 

His tone was patient and calm, but Jared didn’t like anyone scaring his boys, no matter what their problem was. He was going to tell Sophia exactly what he thought of her temper tantrum. He opened the door and felt a fist slam hard into his face. Like nothing he had ever felt before. Jared had gotten into squabbles as a kid, but never had he felt like his face might move OFF of his skull. He tasted a hot gout of blood in his mouth and was in shock when he was being hauled forward to get slugged again, this time in the mouth instead of his nose.

 

“You think you can just BUY anyone or anything you want, you spoiled little son of a whore?!”

 

Jared didn’t know the man accusing him but he did know Ben was screaming and Tate was crying in the other room. Maybe he should have been more worried about getting his ass kicked by some homicidal cowboy, but his kids being terrified was what set him off. He swung on the other man, long arms and powerful upper body making his punch land square and hard. The long haired man stumbled back into the hallway and Jared shoved him again.

 

“Who the HELL are you?”

 

The assailant hit the wall and then realized the rich bitch might have some balls after all. Sure hit like a fucking Mack truck. Chris rubbed over his jaw, feeling it swelling. He saw blood all over Jared and felt a grudging happiness over that.

 

“I’m Jensen’s boyfriend. Think we need to talk.”


	11. Chapter 11

Jared stepped closer to Chris, assuming that was who he was looking at. He was not about to let some punch-throwing son of a bitch into the room with his boys. No way in hell. His kids were scared to death and it was about all Jared could think about in the moment. He eyed the other man intently, itching to kick his ass. Again, couldn’t. Ben was standing in the doorway, hiccupping sobs coming out of him as he saw his daddy bleeding. Jared saw chagrin flash over Chris’ face, knowing Ben’s reaction was playing his guilt like a violin. Jared turned back to his son, gathering Ben up. 

 

“You can wait here a minute in the hallway. You aren’t coming in. I need to get my boys calmed down. You fucking try to come in and I will beat you until you can’t blink on your own.”

 

Going into the hotel room, Jared shut the door in his wake. He made comforting sounds to Ben, his son clinging to him and whispering ‘911’ over and over. Jared knew he was the one that had drilled that into Ben early, just in case of emergencies. 

 

“Shhh, babe, it’s alright. He was just throwing a temper tantrum. Just hit me harder than he meant to. It was an accident.”

 

“D-Daddy…he hitted you. Your face need s a band-aid.” Ben was not easily convinced that it was a casual occurrence. He had heard the other man calling his father names. Called his Daddy ‘little’ too and Ben didn’t know where the stranger got that one from. “Your shirt’s all red.”

 

“I know. He was being a dumb ass.” Jared opened a suitcase and started to reach inside but Ben was not letting go, just hugging tighter. “Benny, I need to change so we can go in and check on Tate. I don’t want him seeing my all bloody, alright? You can stay right here with me…but I need to change.”

 

Ben reluctantly released his father, sitting to the bed and turning his face up to Jared’s as his father stripped off his ruined shirt to throw to the trashcan. Ben heard Tate crying and calling out for him and Jared both.

 

“Daddy, m’going in there to sit with Tate so he won’t just come out. Okay?”

 

“Thank you, Ben. Daddy appreciates it.” Jared washed his face and neck before putting on the clean shirt. He was relieved and impressed with Ben going in to comfort Tate. It did make the crying taper off. By the time Jared entered the bedroom, Tate was sucking the back of his hand, curled in Ben’s lap, his head to his older brother’s shoulder. Jared picked them both up at the same time. He rocked them to him and kissed over their heads, wanting to show them they were perfectly safe. He would never let anything happen to them.

 

“I need to go talk to the man outside, Ben. Can you stay in here and watch Tate until he falls back asleep?”

 

Ben gave his father a measuring look, frowning under the thick fall of his hair. “All by yourself? What if he’s mean again? What if he hurts you real bad?”

 

“He won’t. He’s done.” Jared finger-combed Ben’s hair, seeing Tate’s wide eyes looking back and forth between them. The toddler didn’t know details, but he knew emotions. Felt Ben’s anxiety. Jared patted Ben’s cheek softly. “Can you please sit with your brother? We can go see Chad after. You want to?”

 

Ben nodded, the bribe working like a charm. He loved his Uncle Chad. Uncle Chad gave him his first water gun. Taught him how to tie knots. Let him have a sparkler last Independence Day even after his mom said no. Chad was awesome. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll be right in here. Promise.”

 

“Alright. Thank you, little man.” Jared kissed both of his boys and pulled the coverlet up and over them. He knew Tate would drift off again. Ben wouldn’t stay with Tate forever but there was a chance he might nap. Jared closed the bedroom door behind him, heading back to the waiting Chris. Opening the main door, Jared was not even surprised to see Chris had waited for him. Looking like he could lean there and wait all day, if need be. Jared stepped into the hallway, his back to the solid door. He met Chris’ hard stare and started the ball rolling himself.

 

“You’re real lucky I didn’t call the police. Assault and battery could really slow your roll.”

 

“Yeah? You’re lucky I don’t kick your knees in for fucking with what’s mine. I ain’t afraid of you, Padalecki. I don’t attend the first church of Padalecki like most of this town. You set up Jensen from day fucking one. Jerking him around and then letting your mom take a piece out of him. You think you’re some kinda saint or something? You’ve never been anything but bad for him. You’re just like your mother- just she’s not convinced it makes her a good person like you are. You want him. You work to get him- like a toy you put down and didn’t pay any mind to until another kid grabbed it up. Where the fuck do you get off coming around NOW? Acting like you’re in love with him. Like he was seeing you when I know damned well he was with *me*?!”

 

Jared let Chris go on. There was no reason to interrupt if he really wanted to know what the other man was thinking. He listened with a surprisingly patient expression, his hazel eyes fixed. Some of the words slid right off of him, but others hit past the skin. Jared was not so blind to himself and his motivation to think he was completely selfless in helping Jensen be free of Rose. He wanted Jensen for himself. That was true. But it was also true that Jared would have helped any person in Jensen’s position if given a chance. It was not based solely on getting laid. Not by a long shot. Jared did not have to *pay* to have sex. 

 

“I never said I was a saint. You’re Chris, right? Well Chris… I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I don’t know where you get your information but I suspect you don’t worry as much about being right as you do about making a scene. Rattling cages. That’s fine if you think you have to fall back on being loud instead of correct. I get that you’re angry and frustrated- but you ever pull shit like that again with my babies nearby and you and me aren’t going to *need* the police- I’ll keep it real private what I do to you, you got me?”

 

A smile came and went on Chris’ mouth before he was sizing Jared up with his eyes. Least the kid had a spine. Not just threatening to sue him. Chris looked uncomfortable and shook his head.

 

“Look, I’m sorry about your kids. I didn’t know they’d be here. I was just going to come by, kick your ass and go. Nothing more than that. I sure never meant to make them cry like that. I’m sorry…for that part. I have known you for a long time. Maybe not in a conventional way- but I know all about you. I thought it’d die out. Not be a big deal. You leaving for college was good. Then you stayed out of town until after you graduated. But you didn’t stay gone for shit. You kept coming back to town. Then you moved back for real. Least then you had a wife on your arm. I told Jensen it was the best thing that ever happened to him. You going back to being a breeder.”

A muscle twitched in Jared’s jaw and he pondered kicking Chris’ ass anyway. Fuck talking. Chris hadn’t come to talk anyway.

 

“Breeder? Because you got here on this planet how? Don’t fucking use that word. It makes you sound stupid and I can tell you aren’t.”

 

Chris wasn’t sure what to make out of Jared’s words but he was glad that little dig pissed the kid off. He used it just for Jared, after all.

 

“You would have done Jensen and everyone else a big favor if you’d have stayed gone. Go wherever people like you go when they aren’t fucking over the have-nots.”

 

Inside the hotel room, Ben was bored. He watched Tate sleeping and rolled his eyes at how quiet it was. He wasn’t sleepy anymore. He was worried. Things were definitely strange right now. His mother not being around. His daddy not going to work at all. That weird guy punching his daddy and calling him names that made his daddy punch him back. Ben had never seen his father strike anyone before in his life. Once, at a festival, a drunk man almost bumped into Ben and his father had caught the man’s arm, shoving him in the opposite direction with a mean sound, but that was it. That wasn’t even a fight. Hearing a brrr-brrrr sound, Ben realized his father’s cellphone was on the bedside table. Well. He should get it then. His father was busy, right? Ben hit the green button and chirped to the caller. “Hello?”

 

“Ben?” Jensen smiled at the boy’s laugh and stepped outside to stand in the shade. He was just outside of the hospital, having been inside to see Chelsea and his mother. “How’re things going?”

 

Ben glanced to the closed door, pretty sure he wasn’t going to wake up Tate talking, but leaving the room might do it. Tate had keen hearing for being left by himself. Ben kept his voice fairly low as he answered Jensen.

 

“Hi, Jensen! We went to Sandy’s and then to eat, to the park. Now we’re at the hotel. Daddy got punched inna face. Two times.”

 

“What? WHAT?” Jensen made himself not shout, hearing Ben gasp. “Sorry, you just surprised me…-”

 

“Daddy was surprised too!” Ben helpfully informed Jensen. “He said ‘hell’ and ‘fuck’. Now he’s out there and talking. You need a nicer boyfriend, Jensen. You can’t have friends if he keeps hitting them inna face. It’s not very nice.”

“I am going to…” Jensen locked down the words and wanted to be able to teleport. Right now. He knew exactly what he would do. “Nevermind. I’ll take care of it. I’m sorry that happened, Ben. That was not okay. Are you okay?”

 

“I cried because Daddy was hurt, but I’m okay. I’m okay. Are you coming over?”

 

Jensen had to remind himself to keep drawing steady breaths. He bit his inner cheek, turning his back to the street as a car drove by a little too slow. People kept looking at him like he was a moving attraction from a freak show. He knew why. They were all speculating on his lifelong hidden romance with the town ‘prince’ and it was just too good to let go. They wanted to have something to talk about. 

 

“Yeah, I’m coming over. I’m on my way. See you in a little bit, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Ben ended the call and scooted off the bed, sneaking out of the room. He was so going to watch cartoons. Tate was sleeping. Jensen was coming over. He didn’t want to miss seeing Jensen.

 

Out in the hallway, Jared was wondering over where Chris was going with what he said about Jared’s life in general. Why it even mattered to Chris where he was or had been. Jared had never stood in Jensen’s way. Not even once. Jensen was always free to be with whoever he wanted. If anything Jensen had been the one to come between Sandy and Jared. It wasn’t all Jensen’s fault, no. Jared knew better than that. It still didn’t change the fact that Jensen had been the one to seek Jared out long enough to tear up a relationship. Jared was not going to explore that memory with Chris, however. His face hurt and he wanted some damn Advil. Not introspective time with a perfect stranger.

 

“I don’t know what you want, man. I really don’t. Jensen makes his own choices. I didn’t…’buy’ him. He’s not my property.”

 

Chris’ eyes dropped over Jared, lingering on a mark on Jared’s neck before he saw Jared blushing under his scrutiny. Chris smiled thinly.

 

“You told the whole town you’ve been fucking him for years. He seconded it. Might as well release a book now. Plenty of interested fans. You two got everyone going thinking you’re some damned love story. No one even wonders how you sleep at night. He tell you what your mama did to him? He tell you about her checking him out? Stripping him down? You fine with that? Something to talk about over Christmas dinner? Way I see it, she did her thing to make it easier for you to do yours. Wouldn’t doubt it if it was you all along, Padalecki. Why not? You get bored. Decide to rearrange some things including where you get your dick wet. Only thing is, Jensen… you really want to get to him you got to go through what matters most to him and it ain’t *himself*- it’s his family. Must’ve been your big day when the chance opened up. How long did you wait to swoop in?”

 

Jared was not going to get into a brawl in the hallway. He was not going to bust in Chris’ face over words that weren’t even close to true. He kept telling himself that in between remembering to take breaths. The man was able to goad him to new levels of pissed off, that lazy drawl making each word seem pleasant to hear until you processed what he was saying.

 

“I don’t think you were there, at the benefit, to know what I said. I have my reasons and they’re none of your damned business…-”

 

“He is my business.”

 

Chris ground out, walking closer to Jared like the height difference didn’t register in his mind one damned bit.

 

“Jensen tell you he was free to be your boyfriend, Jared? He say that?”

 

Recalling Jensen saying “I can’t just be… your boyfriend, Jay.”- Jared swallowed tightly around the doubts and worries trying to well up inside of him. He had not nailed down specifics with Jensen. They had bypassed some of their talking to get to bed. He accepted that. There was more to say but they had both needed something more physical- in the moment.

 

Chris looked over Jared’s expression and half smiled. “Fuckin don’t mean lovin, kid.”

 

Jared wished his tongue would unthaw, but it didn’t matter. Chris was giving him another tight smile and then he clapped Jared on the shoulder, light as a friend might.

 

“You know I spent a long time hatin you, Jared. Havin to see you on his wall. He wouldn’t just get over you. But you know what? He had you in his head, not anywhere real. That’s where you work best. If you was the man you’re trying to be? You’d cut him loose. He sure as hell don’t need your brand of ’carin.’”

 

Chris almost felt bad seeing Jared’s eyes flash with hurt, but hell- all’s fair in love and war. He tipped a nod to Jared and then turned, walking away. Let Jared think on some things. Do him some good.

 

Jared stayed in the hallway a moment before he went back into the suite. He was a little surprised to see Ben on the sofa watching cartoons, but then Ben was not as likely to give in on taking a nap. Jared sat next to Ben, hugging a throw pillow to his chest as he stared at the screen. 

 

Was Chris telling him the truth? Was Jensen still with Chris but saw Jared as a necessary evil? Like the lesser evil really. Better to fuck than Rose? Jared got up after a minute to go into the bathroom, taking some Advil. He was considering calling Chad when he heard Ben talking in the other room and then… Jensen’s voice. Jared steeled himself and returned to the main room, seeing Jensen’s eyes dart to him immediately. 

 

“Your face.”

 

Jensen was across the room so fast, cupping Jared’s face in his hands, turning the other man’s head to get a better look at some truly spectacular bruises. Fucking Chris. 

 

“Chris did this?”

 

Jared met Jensen’s worried eyes and then nodded stiffly. “Seemed to think he was well within his rights.”

 

The tone Jared used made Jensen drop his hands from touching him. Like he was warned away without the need for actual words. “Oh yeah? He say something to you?”

 

Jared glanced at Ben and his son looked up to him. 

 

“You want me to go take a bath, Daddy? I can turn on the radio. Won’t hear a thing.”

 

At his father’s nod, Ben smiled to Jensen and then dashed to the bathroom, slamming the door loudly in his wake. He loved getting to play music as he took his bath. Loudly. 

 

Jared sat on the arm of the sofa and looked warily to Jensen.

 

“He said he’s your boyfriend. Was before , still is. Is that right? I mean…we didn’t really talk about it, did we? Details like that.”

 

Jensen frowned and was definitely going to give Chris a few choice words. How could he even start to tell Jared that it was a ‘long story’? His whole fixation on Jared had been one helluva ‘long story’ all on it’s own. Somehow, Chris had been caught in it too. It really wasn’t fair. Not by Jensen’s standards. At the same time, he couldn’t exactly live like a monk either. He had needs. Unrequited love sucked so hard. Now that he had his love, had Jared- there was still static. All this shit they had to wade through and resolve. Jensen realized he had been quiet for too long. Thinking and trying to reason it out. Jared was not even looking at him now, staring at the carpet instead. 

 

“Jay… no, we didn’t talk details. We were busy being together. I’m sorry. But …no…he’s not my boyfriend. Not now. He was…”

 

“When did you break up?”

 

It should have been an easy answer. Jensen shifted his weight from foot to foot, taking a deep breath.

 

“We didn’t… officially…I guess. I mean there wasn’t any talk. If there’s got to be a talk. We just grew apart and he was on the road. We had some fights. I didn’t do the whole speech with him.”

 

“That’s you saying a whole lot of nothing.” Jared raised his eyes to Jensen. “When. When was it settled? Because he doesn’t seem to think like you do. He seems to think you two were together just until you made that deal with my mother. Is that how it was?”

 

“I… Jesus, Jared…quit glaring at me. If you would just listen… I *am* telling you. He was on the road. He was gone. Always gone. I was here. Like I intend to be… I never packed up and left. I didn’t do that to my family. Chris wanted nothing more than to get out of Gatlin and that’s not me. I’m not free like that. I try not to let it be this thing that makes it so we can’t be friends anymore. I care about him. I love him. But that’s not enough to fill in all the broken spots between us. We were over a long time ago. We just never wanted to say so in case it meant wrecking our friendship too.”

 

“So when you were over…you weren’t sleeping together?” Jared saw Jensen’s glare and knew the answer to that one. Jensen had not been turning Chris away, despite all their differences. “If not for…my mother… you would still be …-”

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

Jensen felt a tight pain in his chest and wanted to have some time to prepare for this. But it was here and now. There was no do-overs in real life. You took it as it came. Hopefully not fucking up beyond all measure. He walked closer to Jared and met those melancholy hazel eyes dead on.

 

“You were with Sophia, Jay. I don’t hate you or blame you for that. It was all before.”

 

Jared‘s lips pressed hard together, then he whispered. “Before what?”

 

“Before…us. This. Here and now. Maybe that makes me a selfish fucker… but you are the one I want. Have always wanted. I never…felt for anyone, the way I do for you. I swear to God. Please don’t let this ruin what we’ve got. What we can have.” Jensen hated the note of pleading in his voice. He saw how Jared was trying to process and categorize every last word. It worried Jensen. He had no idea how Jared was taking this. Why he was so insistent.

 

Jared bowed his head, not able to handle looking right at Jensen. Not when so much was riding the line between them.

 

“You don’t *have* to be with me. You know that, right? I would never ask you… or force you…”

 

“What are you talking about?” Jensen cupped Jared’s chin in his palm, making Jared meet his eyes. “What? Come on. I’m not a mind reader. Work with me here.”

 

“You had a contract with my mother. Things expected of you. Demanded. Then I… pretty much fucked that up for her. But that doesn’t mean you owe me anything. I can’t deal with you coming to me, being with me… under pretense.”

 

Jensen had a little trouble breathing. He flashed hot and cold inside. How could you be hurt and so angry at the same time? One should nullify the other, but no, he had both clashing inside of him.

 

“You think I’m faking this? How I have been with you since you told the *whole town * we were lovers all this time? I am the one you think has to prove this is real?”

 

Jared’s cheeks flushed as he heard Jensen’s temper rising. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t mean you’re … I…” He stood, shaking his head, frustrated and unsure. “I want you. I want all of you. I am getting pissed thinking of Chris or anybody having you instead of me. In any way. I know that’s not reasonable. I just couldn’t live with myself if I thought you were staying with me…because you’re always sacrificing, Jen. You always are.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Jensen’s brows drew together in real confusion.

 

“The way you give up everything. You don’t go out like you want. You don’t do your art. You work long hours and…-”

 

“Just a damn minute.” Jensen was hearing shades of Chris. The ‘leave all this and be with me’ Chris Kane that had made Jensen feel like he was constantly letting him down. “That’s not sacrifice. That’s my LIFE you’re talking about-…”

 

“It’s not YOUR life! It’s your mother’s life. Your sisters’ life. You farmed out pieces of your life to make theirs. Jensen…don’t… don’t go. Listen to me…-”

 

“No, I’ve heard enough. Fucking enough. I thought you were different.”

 

As Jensen walked towards the door, Jared followed. “I’m sorry. Please. Come back in. we can talk…”

 

“About how much of a let down and failure I am? No thanks. I have to get to work. Work. It’s what poor fucks do to make money for their non-lives.” Jensen snarled the words and then stormed out, slamming the door behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

Morose over Jensen’s departure, Jared went to the bedroom, retrieving his phone. He dialed Chad’s number, well he hit the number ‘3’ which was Chad- and he had heard shit over that. Chad’s number was after Sophia’s and Jared’s office. He should change that. Not that it would devastate Sophia to lose her number one spot, but it was the principle of the thing. What if he got hit by a car and they found his phone? At the funeral they would say ‘Sophia was still first on his call list.’ Jared smiled a tiny bit at his weird brain trying to cheer him up. When Chad answered, Jared cleared his throat.

 

“Hey, man, what’s up?”

 

There was a pause and then a door slamming before Jared could hear Chad was outside. Dogs barking and cars going past on the nearby highway gave it away.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Chad did not mince words when he was concerned.

 

“I thought you were getting cosmically laid, Jared. Sandy spoke very highly of your potential for being an ass bandit. What gives? Did it hurt?”

 

Jared rolled his eyes and chuckled a little helplessly. He should have texted Chad. It might have been safer for his sanity.

 

“I am not an ass bandit. Don’t call me that.”

 

“Purveyor of man-gina?”

 

“Chad, I swear to God…-”

 

“Alright, alright. Just trying to get the facts. On your whirlwind love affair. You didn’t fuck it up already, did you? You cum in his eye or something?”

 

Chad grinned sitting on his front stoop, staying out of the way of the building’s door. He lived on the first floor of the very posh apartment building and he liked to think he brought down the property value all on his own. He had a lawn chair nearby that he insisted no one move, even if it gave his neighbors gut deep shudders. They would live. He heard Jared call him a name and laughed.

 

“Tell, tell, Jared. I’m all ears.”

 

“We had an argument.” Jared knew Chad meant well. Under all the punk-ass stuff he said, his best friend meant well. “I met his boyfriend.”

 

“Ooh. That’s kinky. Like…right away? Or were you blindfolded and you thought it was Jensen but…-”

 

“CHAD.” Jared laughed shortly. “It was nothing like that. Not sexual. At all. Please never say that again. Why do you think only in terms of sex?”

 

“Because I’d like to believe you use your dick, Jared. It pains me to see tumble weeds where your balls should be. What’d you fight with lover boy about? Wait. Never mind. I’m coming over. You got the boys?”

 

“Yes, but..”

 

“I’ll bring some food. Stay put. Don’t worry. I won’t even tell Sandy you’re messing things up already. See? Sensitive.” 

 

“Yeah, you’re an angel that way.”

 

“Kisses.”

 

Chad was off the line and Jared shook his head. How exactly did he get himself into these things? He looked to where Tate was sleeping and tucked his baby boy in better, making sure he was good and warm. Tate smiled in his sleep and sighed, making Jared want to lay down beside him and get some sleep too. His kids had that effect on him when they were sleepy and cuddly. Hearing Ben leaving the bathroom, Jared got to his feet and went to make sure Ben was getting dressed. Not being a little Caesar running around in just a towel. Once Ben was toweled off, Jared helped him into his t-shirt.

 

“Uncle Chad IS coming over?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Is he staying the night?”

 

“I don’t know. He might.” Jared started to gently comb out Ben’s dark curls, being careful not to pull or tug too hard.

 

“Is Jensen coming back?” When his father was quiet, Ben sighed. “Did you have a fight? Like with mommy?”

 

Jared bowed his head, feeling like he was batting a thousand today. “We just… need some time. To really get to know each other. It takes time, honey. We’re working on it. I’m sorry. I know you like him.”

 

“Yeah. He’s nice. Daddy? Don’t be sad.”

 

Jared hugged his son and kissed over Ben’s rosy cheeks softly, “Hey, little B, don’t worry. I am fine. I just have to learn to talk to people. So they don’t want to punch me, right?”

 

Ben giggled and hugged his father. “Maybe don’t talk. Just give them food.”

 

“There’s a good idea.” Jared stood, holding his son. He realized when Ben wanted held more that it meant the little boy was wondering over his stability and what he was used to. Wanting reassurance. Jared got that and would be watchful for any signs his sons were in need of more attention. He would give them whatever he could. He rubbed over Ben’s back. “Do I have to ask if you drained the tub?”

 

“Nooooo…” Ben winced.

 

For some reason, Ben was staunchly against draining his own bath water. Would not do it. Despite being reminded, shown how- the whole nine yards- the child was not changing his position on leaving the tub full of water. The toys he took out and set aside on the edge of the bath. Jared sighed and walked into the bathroom, crouching to drain the water. He saw Ben’s fascinated gaze to the tiny whirlpool that formed.

 

“You aren’t afraid of the drain are you?”

 

Jared asked softly, not wanting to make Ben feel bad.

 

“I just don’t like it. I’m not afraid. Babies get afraid.”

 

“Grown-ups get afraid too. We all get afraid sometimes.” Jared wiped his wet hand on the hanging towel by the sink before leaving the bathroom. “But that drain is tiny and you’re great big. It’s only job is taking away the water when you’re done with it. That’s all.”

 

“Okay.” Ben seemed willing to humor his father, especially since the tub was drained without him having to reach into the water.

 

“So next time you might pull the plug?” 

 

“No.”

 

“At least you’re honest.” Jared grinned and deposited Ben to the couch. “Remember when Uncle Chad gets here- you cannot say the bad words he says. If you do…it’s a time out in the other room. Alright?”

 

“Alright.” Ben grinned widely to his father. “You know he knows all the best words.”

 

“He might tell you that..but his mom would tell you how much detention Chad always got. As his best friend, *I’d* tell you that Chad has run behind *me* more than once after making someone really angry.” Jared hoped some of this was getting through to his son.

 

It was really the best Jared could do. He could appeal to his five year old but there was no getting Chad to filter himself. Even if Chad tried it would not last. Not that Chad would want Ben getting into trouble, it just totally, irrevocably slipped his mind. Jared knew that to be true. He had known Chad all his life and the man had no front desk working between what he *thought* and what he *said*. It all burbled out. 

 

Chad arrived with bags of junk food, putting them aside when he crouched down to catch a running Ben. Standing with Ben, Chad held the boy to his side and looked Jared over with eyes going shifty quick. Not happy. 

 

“Who hit you? Who the *fuck* hit you?”

 

“Jensen’s boyfriend.” Ben answered, seeing his uncle get upset. “Daddy hit him back.”

 

“Well that’s a goddamn relief. Good to know you didn’t just stand there.” Chad patted Ben’s rump and sat the boy down. “Brought Pop-rocks…and Sprite…so you can let loose. No caffeine. Have some, my man. It’s good stuff. Red Bull for the underage partier.”

 

Jared didn’t refute Ben getting into the snacks. He wanted a second to talk to Chad without having to monitor himself completely. “Ben, you want to watch cartoons while we talk?”

 

“Nope.” Ben opened the Pop-rocks, pouring them into his mouth before slowly adding some Sprite, keeping his head tipped back. Mouth wide open to really enjoy the sound effects. 

 

“It’s okay, Jared. Ben can keep a big boy talk secret, right?” Chad nodded to Ben and Ben held up his thumb. Obviously in this for the long haul, Chad was going to get settled. Have food stores around him and his Mountain Dew bottle at his side. He smiled and plunked down on the couch. “Come and sit down. Tell me what happened. The boyfriend. Jesus Christ. Can’t believe he hit you. You want me to go kick his ass? How big is he? What is it with Jensen? You tell me. Something about him make y’all go crazy?”

 

Jared sat down, leaning his arms over his knees. He tried to think of how to even start. He sucked at his lower lip, looking pensive. “No I don’t want you going to fight anyone. Yes he’s bigger than you and it’s not totally Jensen’s fault. I mean he didn’t know it was going to happen. You can’t predict things like that. How someone will react to you seeing someone else. There’s more though. With Jen. The way I see it… he never quite broke up with Chris, the ex. Who didn’t seem to think he was an ex.”

 

“So maybe the ex is a psycho. That happens. I have stables worth of psychos. I know I pushed some of them over the edge, that last lil bit… but that doesn‘t make me their caretaker. Once I cut them loose they are officially not mine to ho-sit.” Chad tore open a bag of pretzels and poured a handful to his belly. He ate three at a time, the twists fitting into his mouth easier than physics would have suggested. “This Chris person isn’t ready to admit defeat. You can’t blame Jensen for that.”

 

“I just got the feeling… like they were together right up until the point where Jensen got … engaged… to you know who.” Trying to protect Ben from some of the details, ‘you know who’ sounded better than ‘my mother’. Jared hated even calling Rose his mother right now. It turned his belly. He felt more comfortable calling her ‘Rose’. It was strange but true. 

 

“And?”

 

“And… that means they were together until … the arrangement. That’s not the same as breaking up.”

 

“Oh my God, come on. Come ON. You know in the real world people break up over the phone. In e-mail. By word of mouth. Tons of couples break up without telling each other right away. I’ve got that down to a science. It’s like weaning them off the teat. You know?”

 

“Teat?” Ben asked querulously. He was always on alert around Chad. So many things to learn. He had a trove of vocabulary words he saved for the school bus and playground. Very instrumental in impressing his friends. 

 

Chad patted his chest over one pec, seeing Ben’s funny and dubious expression. “It means getting rid of someone you don’t want any more -but not so fast they throw a fit. You just stop seeing them *as much* and hope they get the hint when you change your locks or start dating a new love of your life.” Chad smiled back to Jared. “You can’t expect Jensen to give you an itemized detailed account. Like he’s supposed to give his ex a two week’s notice. Who does that? Okay, besides YOU, who? No one. Because you don’t have to. That’s all married people crap.”

 

“Which I still am.” Jared responded, wishing Chad had never taught Ben the word ‘teat’. Small mercy he was denied. “I guess I can’t really talk. I’m not officially divorced.”

 

“As good as. You told everyone in town you’re in love with Jensenpants.” 

 

“You love Jensenpants?” Ben questioned, smiling to his father. “Are you…Jaredpants?”

 

Jared gave Chad a look before answering his son. “Jensen and I have been close for a long time but we haven’t ever told anyone. It’s been a secret. I know it’s hard to understand…”

 

“No it’s not.” Ben reassured his father, having a cherry Twizzler. “I like people that are nice to me. Jensen is nice to you. You like it.”

 

“Um…yeah.” Chad chuckled faintly. “And he is not here why? Let’s get to that part. You reamed him- oh sorry, bad term…you chewed him out…ha…wait…”

 

“Shut up.” Jared smacked Chad upside the head, not hard, but enough to have a second of silence. “I told him I didn’t want him feeling…beholden to me. Not for getting him away from..you know who…and you know what. I want him on the level. Like we’re just two people. Not all the rest. I don’t even feel right about ‘taking naps’ with him if there’s some agenda behind it. If he feels like he has to. You know?”

 

Chad squinted at Jared, and then a light came on. Oh. Taking naps. Okay. He smiled a little. “He’s not a baby and everyone that knows you, Jared- knows you could never be a rufie-slipping date raper. Seriously. So against type. You’re like… sensitive and shit. You wouldn’t force a dollar into a snack machine. I know that. Jensen *has* to know that. Not like you’re a wimp or anything but you’re not mean. You’re one of the good guys. Not real bright about getting your *nap* on…but you try.”

 

Jared was pretty sure he was being insulted in there somewhere. He was not that passive, damn it. He turned the cartoons up some and looked back to Chad. “I just wanted to be sure. Then I told him… I thought maybe he’d do something like that…-”

 

“Oh GOOD one.” Chad burst out into laughter. “Why not just offer to tip him?”

 

“No, I mean…I meant because he already gives up so much for his family. He has put everything on the line. Even… even his own body.”

 

“So you called Jensen a ‘hooker with a heart of gold’. Why wouldn’t he like that?” Chad shook his head and had another pretzel. “You work directly against your dick. You should know that. You remember that scene in Breakfast Club when Bender looks at Johnson and says ‘Show your dick some respect’? That was a life lesson for us ALL. You too. It’s a wonder it doesn’t go out without you. It’s big enough to open doors and hail a cab.”

 

Turning bright red, Jared smacked Chad again, this time over the chest, getting an ‘oomph’ in response. “How about not? Little ears.” Chad made an apologetic face and Jared sighed deeply. “So I just wanted him to understand there wasn’t anything wrong with him having his own life. I mean having things just for him. He doesn’t have to wear himself out. He could pursue his God given talent. What’s wrong with that?”

 

“Um.” Chad held up a hand. “Don’t smack me but…why’d you Dr. Phil him up? Can’t you date, bitch? Seriously. Date? Not try to change his life right away? That so makes you the chick, by the way. You going to start redecorating for him too?”

 

“No. It wasn’t even like that.” 

 

“Sounds like it to me and I fucking *love* you. Doesn’t mean you’re the boss of me. Or him. He’s grown, Jare. He’s a big boy. You can’t go saying …’Oh and by the way , you’re great but here’s a list of things for you to change about yourself, ‘kay, thanks.’. No man is going to like that. Even a man that makes out with a girl like you.” Chad tossed a pretzel in the air and caught it in his mouth, crunching down. “Get it together, dirty lil girl. The world’s counting on you. I mean you got the crowd all worked up. Now you got to deliver. Stand by your man. Shit like that. Besides… I do believe you joining the rainbow connection means parades. I like parades.”

 

“I like parades!” Ben chimed in, leaning to Chad’s side. “When’re we going to a parade?”

 

“Soon.” Chad soothed, petting Ben’s head. “We have to make signs first anyway and Daddy needs to get his dating life together. We have a little time. I want glitter for my sign.”

 

Jared gave Chad the look for all the good it did. He knew Chad was only *half* kidding about the parade. Making signs. “I still need to talk to Sandy and mom. I’d rather eat glass.”

 

“Aw…yeah, well… if I was you… I’d just tell them to…” Chad saw Ben’s eyes widen and bit his tongue. “…be nice and try not to make everyone upset.” That was weak but the best he could do in a hurry. “Look why don’t you go talk to them…while I hang with Benny and Tate? I got this. I’ll order up some dinner… watch some cartoons. Yeah?”

 

“Actually…yes. That would help. I won’t be that long.” Jared felt relieved at the offer. He certainly was not taking the boys with him for a showdown with his mother.

 

“Don’t go over by yourself. Take Ash.” Chad said it with such gravity that Jared half turned on his way to go change. “I just think you might need someone at your back. If not me, Ash is good.”

 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll do that.” Jared smiled, seeing Chad relax at his answer. “And Chad?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Thank you. For everything. I’m going to work this out.”

 

Chad smiled to his best friend, eyes twinkling. 

 

“You better. I’ve been waiting for another excuse to wear short shorts.”

 

“Ugh.” Jared mock shuddered, holding up a hand. “Bleach for my brain now.”

 

“You wish.” Chad settled back to the couch, smiling as he watched Batman with Ben. “There is no washing ME outta your head. I am mental Sharpie.”

 

Jared laughed and did feel better. It was crazy but Chad had a way of making him think. Not everyone would understand their friendship but since the first time he met Chad, Jared had been impressed with the scrappy blonde. Chad said whatever was on his mind. He was loyal to the people he clearly stated he was loyal to. Funny. Smart. Very off the cuff and not one to let everyone get to know him, but he also had life long friends. He even managed to surprise Jared sometimes by being really sweet and then trying to cover for it by saying something truly filthy. 

 

Jared re-emerged from the bedroom, changed and holding Tate. The toddler went to Chad with a sleepy coo of greeting as he was handed off. Like a pro, Chad lay Tate over his chest, patting the baby’s back. 

 

“Ben, help Chad, alright? Be really good. I’m counting on you. Don’t make a mess in here either.”

 

“Alright, Daddy. We’ll be super good. Is Chad staying the night?”

 

At Ben’s request, Chad smiled and ruffled the five-year-old’s hair. “Sure, why not. I’ll crash on the couch.”

 

Ben grinned and clapped. “Daddy, if you bring Jensen back…he can sleep in your room. We have room…”

 

“Ah…” Jared blushed and then turned, pulling on his jacket. “We’ll see. Thanks, Benny. Nice of you to invite him. I’ll be back…I don’t know how long this’ll take…”

 

“Don’t sweat it. We’re cool.” Chad nodded to Jared like one soldier to another. “Go do your thing. Remember… you’re right. They’re wrong. Don’t listen to anything else.”

 

“Is that *your* chosen strategy?” Jared teased, pausing at the door.

 

“Damn straight.”

 

At least Jared got to laugh a little as he left his best friend behind with his boys, hoping the three of them behaved themselves.


	13. Chapter 13

He knew it was Jensen before he even got off his couch and turned off the television. Only two types of people in this world knocked with their fist and their foot like that. Cops or Jensen Ackles when he was pissed off. Chris figured he best face the music, otherwise Jensen would break into his house to kick his ass- and that might break something Chris would have to repair later. He sighed, opening the door and seeing how flushed Jensen’s cheeks were. Damned if that didn’t work for him. He was still damned pretty. Chris stepped aside, gesturing with one hand.

 

“Come on in, dumpling. I expect you got a few things to say.”

 

Swearing softly under his breath, Jensen let his fist fly. Landing a jarring punch to Chris’ mouth was a good start. At least he got some blood out of it. He snapped his arm back and shook out his hand. 

 

“Where the hell do you get off?” Jensen snapped the words and shoved Chris back further from the door, so angry he wanted to leave a rainbow of bruises on Christian. Just to prove a point. Make him understand how fucking *wrong* he was. “You have something to say, you say it to *me*. You come to ME. I have to hear from a little kid that you’re over there making his daddy bleed. That you’re calling his father names. You know what that sounds like to me, Chris? Like your some crazy asshole jerk…and you’ve never been that before. Even when you pissed me off… you weren’t someone I couldn’t respect.”

 

So it was like that. Chris shut the door, realizing Jensen was bypassing just giving him a few punches. Jensen was doing a triple bypass instead. With accusatory words. Well that scalpel could go either way. Wiping his torn mouth across his sleeve, Chris laughed harshly.

 

“I did have shit to say…and to Jared. Not you. I can talk to you about it too, but some of that was between me and him. He had it coming. How do you think *I* felt hearing second hand that you were fucking him all this time? Over the years. In secret. Like our friends don’t know we were together. All those times you told me not to flip out about his goddamned face on the wall. Having to see it while you were sucking *my* cock or I was in you, letting you fuck me and I can see you looking at him- but no, Chris, it don‘t mean anything… then BAM… guess what… change of story. You tell me how I’m supposed to deal with it, Jenny. Explain it to me because yeah, I’m just a little confused.”

 

Jensen had not really thought of things from Chris’ point of view. Not to be a complete ass about it, but Jensen had been just grasping to have some time with Jared. The complications did not seem to want to stay back or away, instead they swarmed. He winced at Chris’ words. God. Had he done that? Looked at Jared’s portrait while having sex with Chris? Probably. Maybe. Damn it.

 

“Chris, it’s not like you’re thinking. I didn’t lie to you. Before last night… I fucked Jared two times. Total. In my life. Two times. I was never with you when it happened. I swear on my life I never cheated on you when we were together, no matter how mad you made me. Alright? Please keep it to yourself. Jared was doing what he could to help me out. To throw Rose off. Don’t you get that?”

 

Chris crowded Jensen’s space and then grabbed the belly of Jensen’s t-shirt, pulling the other man close to him.

 

“I get that you said we were over because of Rose. Rose is gone now, right? We don’t have to be apart. You said the marriage was the reason. Now we ain’t got a thing between us. I don’t care about what you did last night. It doesn’t matter. Don’t tell me about it. We can pretend it never happened.”

 

He lowered his mouth to Jensen’s and hissed at the pain of his split lip. Chris felt Jensen freeze up at the kiss. But Jensen hadn’t pulled away yet. He seemed locked in place. Chris licked over Jensen’s lips, tasting Jensen’s breath.

 

“Jensen…”

 

“Can’t.” Jensen pulled back, blushing hotly. He had almost let Chris kiss him. To make up for having hurt him. For how he had to tell the truth now. It wasn’t right or fair, but it was true. There was no ‘them’ and hadn’t been for awhile before Rose came into the picture. Jensen stepped back, the lack of Chris’ touch and heat palpable. “Chris, it’s not just Rose. It’s not even you. It was me too. I get that. I was never able to give you what you were looking for. I just had things on my terms and hoped it’d be enough to get you by…but it wasn’t. That’s nothing to apologize for…”

 

“What the hell? Are you saying it’s over? Let me show you how good it can be, honey. You remember? How hard I can make you cum?”

 

Chris saw Jensen’s body react, even if he was not able to read the other man’s mind.

 

“We can be as loud as we want here. No one’s going to interrupt. Jensen… let me.”

 

“No.” Jensen wondered if the capillaries in your face could burst if you blushed too hard for too long. Chris stirred him. He wasn’t going to deny that to himself. They had been together so many times. His body *knew* Chris, knew he could deliver on what he offered. But sex was not what Jensen was after. Not from Chris. Maybe he had been wrong to ever let it go so far between them. Getting them to this point where it seemed glaringly obvious to Jensen that he had risked his friendship with Chris because he was never going to love Chris the way he did Jared. He was never going to go crazy over Christian Kane, or need him like a drug. Pine. Crave. He had missed Chris when his boyfriend was away, though it was never to the point of pain. Right now? Jensen could not let himself think about Jared. His stomach would cramp and he would get shaky wondering if Jared was still angry with him. Found him…disappointing. He had lied to Jared about needing to go to work. Anything to get out of there. Have some air. Space. Now he had too much of both since Jared wasn’t part of it.

 

“We can’t. I can’t. I am so sorry, Chris. For this… for making it hurt between us. I love you. I always will… but…”

 

“But you have a chance with Jared.”

 

Chris said the words woodenly and tried for a game smile. He backed away from Jensen and sat heavily to the sofa. He was not quite ready for Jensen to refuse him, his pride stung, but there was some truth wanting to come out. It was *right there* hovering in front of Chris if he just dared to take it on. He frowned and had to have a smoke. He lit up, not missing Jensen doing the same. A silent signal that nicotine was sponsoring this conversation. Chris’ eyes gleamed from the fall of his hair, a strange sense of peace in his gaze.

 

“I ain’t mad at you, Jensen. I don’t hate you. It sucks. I’m not going to lie. It ain’t my dream come true… but in all honesty… I know we weren’t working out. You were still fuckin me but it wasn’t the same. You never said ‘us’ anymore. About anything. You quit saying it… round bout when you stopped thinkin it, I expect. That’s okay. I understand. Quit looking at me like I need a telethon or something. I just want to be clear with you. Maybe I’ve had a problem with Padalecki for years. It’d be fair to say that. He was always in my way. Fair or not, he was. It’s not like I wasn’t in my own way when it came to you…but it felt better to blame someone else. I never wanted to say we couldn’t handle it. Being together. I wanted to believe if I just got it together… then eventually…”

 

Chris shook his head, letting out a gusty breath. He tapped the ash from his cigarette, not letting himself stop talking. Go for broke.

 

“I never wanted to lose you as my friend. I don’t mean to have a Golden Girl moment or some shit, but I love you, man. I might not be the best…”

 

“You’re damned good.”

 

Jensen smiled faintly and nodded to Chris. He was not going to let Chris gut himself all out. This was not one sided. They both actively fucked around with each other and endangered what they had as solid- their friendship.

 

“It wasn’t just you, Chris. I feel like all my life I’ve been playing a role. I don’t mean like ‘woe is me’…I just mean… how weird is it to feel like you’re pretending to be a kid when you *are* one? I always tried to be a kid and not think about the stove needing fixed or Mama’s car making that knocking sound. Josie having a cold and needing to be driven to school. Stuff like that. I felt like school was wasting my time because someone- namely me- needed to be taking care of *real* things that mattered. I was doing okay too. Not the best, but the girls never went without. I just couldn’t…fix… Chelsea…”

 

“Jensen.”

 

“No… let me finish. I had to try all my life to keep my head above water. Treading water, right? Never let on to the girls that things were tight because I wanted them to be kids. I wanted to do right by them so they never doubted or felt scared over money. I put everything on my family… all I had, all I am…and then…for Chelsea to just…”

 

Jensen blinked rapidly, feeling his eyes go itchy and then glossy. He bowed his head, letting himself be pulled down to the couch next to Chris. He leaned into Chris, feeling his friend hug him hard, patting his back like Jensen was a little kid with a nightmare. He let Chris do it. Right now, he needed it.

 

“…seeing her getting smaller, sicker? I wanted to fall down and die, Chris. I wanted to just give up because all I had…wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough because I couldn’t *make* it happen. I don’t want you thinking I’m angry with you… for not coming home right away. I’m not. I never was. I was just… coming apart…and you were the one I knew would forgive me for flipping out. Hard core. I know that’s wrong. Jesus God, I know that’s wrong…”

 

Chris’ lips turned down and he hoped he didn’t start crying here. He rocked Jensen and rubbed up and down his back. 

 

“I am sorry I didn’t come back right away. I really am. I kept thinking I could move things around and I’d make it. I was being selfish. Thinking about shit that doesn’t matter in the long run.”

 

“No, it matters. What you do matters, Chris. You have put so much into it. Don’t downplay it. I went crazy and I couldn’t let everyone- anyone- else…see it. So you got it in spades. Can we just…let it go? You and me? Can we go back to being friends? Am I dumb for asking?”

 

“No…you ain’t dumb period.” Chris cupped the back of Jensen’s skull before having to move back. “But give me time to get used to it, you know? I can’t be popping wood and having you on my lap. It’s not quite the same as just friends. It might get there again… because we had more time not fucking than we did being together.”

 

“Yeah.” Jensen agreed, voice soft as he moved to give Chris his space. He could not deny he still had those moments himself- but they could get past it. “So…with Jared though…you’re cool, right? I mean you aren’t going after him again, right?”

 

“No, I figure we’re settled up. I don’t have to be nice to him- but I can stay back and away. That’s what I can offer up right now.”

 

“I want him real bad, Chris. I’m sorry to say that in front of you, considering, but you have to know…getting between us…making this harder on him or me… I can’t have it. It means more to me than I have words for. I have to try to fix things with him now.”

 

Clued in by Jensen’s glum expression, Chris knew Jared and Jensen were on the outs. He should be happy about it. Gloating. But he wasn’t. Chris felt shamed more than anything else. Like he had kicked a star out of Jensen’s reach. It just didn’t sit right. Shouldn’t either. Loving someone meant wanting them to have the best, not just wanting them to always be sitting around waiting for *you*. Chris had become accustomed to Jensen always being in Gatlin, more than happy to see Chris. Eager even. Because Chris could give Jensen what he needed and not get too much in the way of all Jensen had to keep up with. Convenience. For both of them. 

 

“Do you want me to tell Jared I’m sorry and I never shoulda shot my mouth off? It’d be like munching on nails, but I’ll do it if you want me to.”

 

“No, that’s okay.” Jensen didn’t say Chris had already done enough. They both had. He wasn’t blameless in Chris’ hurt feelings. Nothing good would come of letting Chris feel worse either. Jensen just wanted a clean slate. “I’m going to call Jared tomorrow some time. We both need to cool down. I don’t have to see him every second. It’s not like he’s sitting by his phone waiting for me to call.”

 

“You’re fretting like an old woman.” Chris was silent for a long moment before he asked. “Is he good to you? I mean… does he treat you right? Make sure you’re as happy as he is?”

 

“Yeah… when we aren’t being crazy, we’re good.”

 

Chris nodded. “That’s a positive, I guess. Ain’t no real relationship where you don’t fight. That happens it means one or both of you is being fake and what’s the point then?”

 

Jensen arched a brow at the words of wisdom. This was still fly by the seat of his pants Christian Kane, but the man was really preaching on it. Love. Relationships. Huh. 

 

“Then we’re healthy. I yelled at him…he yelled at me. Least he doesn’t just fold up and cry.”

 

“I told you things wouldn’t ever work out with Adam Brody. You’re the one that wouldn’t listen.” Smugly, Chris chuckled, sitting back to the sofa. “You terrorized him.”

 

“I was waiting for him to toughen up. I thought he’d have an epiphany and tell me to go fuck myself. Instead he was all Jell-o about it.”

 

“You just fucked him for his hair.” 

 

Giving Chris a dirty look, Jensen finally had to laugh and duck his head. “Maybe.”

_______________________________________________________

 

“Hey, before we do this…thank you. For coming with.“ Jared meant it too. Ash so didn’t have to do this. It was going to be uncomfortable.

 

“No sweat. I owed Chad a favor anyway. This way he will quit callin me with suggestions on how to buy out my debt to him. He is a scary bastard when he’s being creative.“ Ash flashed a mega-watt grin. “Let’s see Wayne Manor already.“

 

Jared nodded, starting to drive up to the main house. He spied the flashy red sports car parked in the shade and inwardly groaned. Sophia’s convertible. It was just Jared’s luck that Sophia would be at his mother’s house. He knew it. Alliance of evil villains. They were having their first top secret meeting. He glanced to Ash, seeing how the man was looking around the foyer with wide, amazed eyes.

 

“You could throw a monster truck rally in here.”

 

Jared smiled at Ash’s words. “It would be the best thing to ever happen to the place.” He turned when the butler joined them, making small talk with Gunther before the elderly man led them back to Rose’s office. Not much delay either. She must be as ready to talk as Jared was. He entered the room and noticed Sophia had her glare ready to go. In case he might miss it, she was displeased.

 

“Sophia, Mother…this is Ash Lindbergh. Ash…my soon to be ex-wife Sophia and my mother, Rose Padalecki.”

 

Wow. There was an intro. Ash did a mock salute from his brow and smiled, standing just behind Jared.

 

“So I can assume this means your newfound rudeness knows no bounds?” Rose asked icily. She stood and faced her son, unrumpled and perfect in her pressed suit and pearls. She tightened her lips over her teeth, obviously not as controlled as she wished to seem. “Sophia was humiliated and I find myself very empathetic. You disgraced us both.”

 

“Did I?” Jared eyed his mother and Sophia each in turn. He pulled out a chair and sat down, graceful and sleek, belying the long legs and arms that had tripped him up as a youngster. “I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt that said ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent…’ I imagine the same applies to being disgraced. If anything I appear to be the one with infidelity issues and a closeted homosexual relationship, and I do not deny either accusation. Say what you want, clear those good names of yours. I didn’t come here to argue with you over your reputations. Surely Sophia, you can assume the wounded standpoint and milk that for all it’s worth…and you, mother, well, you can just be yourself and let the world react accordingly. God knows you didn’t do anything to shame *yourself*…otherwise the newspapers would have even more of a feeding frenzy.”

 

Rose scowled at her youngest child and then crossed her arms just under her breasts. He was looking at her as if he *wanted* her to push his buttons. After being dealt the blow Jared delivered to her, Rose was not in the mood for mincing steps.

 

“I don’t supposed you’ve thought much about what the withdrawal of my support might mean. After all, in a custody battle…you might need the presence of your family to weather the storm.”

 

“Custody battle.” Jared’s attention went to Sophia. “You realize a custody battle would be for the boys? In case the terminology was confusing you, it would be your way of taking our children. You might even be expected to care for them.”

 

Sophia smiled angrily. She wanted to throw something at Jared’s head but Rose had told her to control her temper. Not give him anything to use against her. By all means they needed to get Jared back in line. He was still rich, affluencial, and pedigreed. He could be brought to reason and obedience if handled correctly.

 

“I know what it means. I also know how a court might look at you now that you’re saying you sleep around. With a man. They’ll say maybe you don’t need little boys around you.”

 

Jared felt a bolt of anger so pure he was out of his chair before he felt Ash holding his arm, pulling him back the best he could. Jared shook with his need to do serious harm, drawing breaths to calm down.

 

“You say anything like that about me and my sons…and I swear Sophia… when I get done with you…you won’t be able to show your face anywhere there’s a television. You do not want me to play low ball…I will win. Do you hear me? I will break you in fucking half…”

 

She had the sense to pale, moving to stand behind the desk as she shot back at him. “Don’t you threaten me! I am the one holding the cards here, Jared! Maybe you need to think about being NICE and seeing where it gets you.”

 

“You stupid bitch.” Jared whispered the words, but in his deep timbre, it still carried. “You can bet I won’t be ‘nice’. A word to the wise though…you push on this and you’re in my home court no matter where you go. There isn’t a family court judge in Texas that doesn’t know me, and know me *well*. I am sure my mother would float you the money for lawyers…”

 

“Float me? I’ll have half of everything you own, Jared. Half…-”

 

“You think so? Prenuptial agreement. Look it up. You signed one. At my mother’s insistence. Good move there…but can’t cover every base, huh, Mother?” Jared barely acknowledged Rose before he was addressing Sophia again. “You don’t have a claim to anything that is mine. Not a penny. You have what remains of your money that was in your private account when we were married. I believe it’s roughly eight hundred dollars…since you quit working right after I proposed.” 

 

Jared shrugged, “I wouldn’t even mention it except to give you some free legal advice. When you try to claim custody, financial support and means is definitely investigated. I can prove that I am more than capable of taking care of my children. You on the other hand, might want to get a job. You might even want to look into how to explain to the judge that you only came to this conclusion about me being unfit after I filed for divorce. Surely you didn’t think it was original? Family courts see that shit all the time, Sophia. I swear if you had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.”

 

“Fuck YOU…” Sophia picked up a vase and hurled it at Jared, but he just stood still as it smashed to the chifferobe in the corner. “Rose…tell him…tell him…”

 

“Tell me what?” Jared rejoined. He smiled coolly at his mother. “You don’t have a damned thing to tell me. You do not own me. There is nothing you can do TO me. You already made your bed, mother. I suggest you lay in it. I have my own money and my inheritance is locked down too tight for you to do a thing about it. Don’t make me call Daddy to come home for a fight you surely don’t want to have in public.”

 

 

“You wouldn’t…” Rose’s eyes went wide at his brazen hatefulness. This was not her sweet, genteel and biddable boy. He was like a stranger. 

 

“I would and I will. You’d be doing yourself a favor to count yourself lucky you’re a woman. I don’t hit women…but you hurt Jensen or his family again… in any way… and I’ll find ways to hurt you that don’t involve my hands. There are many ways… and you don’t want to learn new ones…mother.” Jared nodded tightly to her and then Sophia. “I think I’m done here. Ash?”

 

“Oh…yeah…sorry I was looking at the ladies. In this light? Y’all could be *sisters*. Eerie.” Ash smiled and then followed Jared from the room, whistling ‘We Are The Champions’ not that he expected anyone to appreciate the classics.


	14. Chapter 14

  
Author's notes: (Also, on a side note...this chapter is dedicated to my sweet friend Gayle, http://phantom4j.livejournal.com/ for many reasons, not the least of which is understanding Jensen in this fic the way I did, through thick and thin...and for knowing Maureen needed a kick in the seat)

* * *

She just seemed so fragile. That was his first thought as he sat down beside her. Tiny hands, thin wrists and so many machines. Jensen held Chelsea’s hand in his own, not meaning to wake her but her large eyes opened all the same. She smiled to her older brother and sat up a little. She wrinkled her nose and looked around the room, seeing all the balloons and flowers. New ones. She was getting that stuff everyday. A wide assortment of stuffed animals too. The little girl intently checked over her older brother’s face.

 

“You look sleepy, Jensen. Are you working your butt off?”

 

Jensen smiled to her, shaking his head. “No, baby girl, I just haven’t been home yet. I went to see Chris for awhile. Played some guitar…”

 

“Jenny said you have a new boyfriend.” Chelsea was animatedly curious, her eyes twinkling. “She said he’s taller than you and has a deep voice.”

 

“He’s not that much taller than me.” Her brother smiled at her impish giggle, glad to hear it. He smoothed her hair back from her wan face, not wanting to hurt her or upset any of her machines. “His name is Jared. The one…ah… I did the big drawing of.”

 

“Oh. Oh. He’s very handsome. Like Prince Phillip.” The little girl nodded approvingly, thinking of the hero from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. Her favorite of the princes. “When do I get to meet him?”

 

“Whenever you want, kiddo. I just wasn’t sure you were up for company… “

 

“I get so bored. I’d talk to Big Bird right now.”

 

At her meaningful eye roll, Jensen smiled. “But not Snuffaluffagus?”

 

“No… not him.” Ever since she was a child, Chelsea had been repelled by the shaggy elephant looking creature on Sesame Street, always wanting to be held until he was gone from the screen. She saw how her brother looked sad and worried even under his smile. She saw the same look from her whole family. They were all so worried. “Jensen?”

 

“Yeah, Chels?”

 

“I had a dream about Christmas the other night. Not one I had already. It was a new Christmas.” Chelsea nodded to him, an assurance in her eyes. “I want to make a gingerbread house this year. With more candy than we can use. Your boyfriend can help, okay?”

 

“You got it. I think he’ll like that if you can keep him from eating the building materials.” Jensen didn’t shed a tear but he could have. He wanted to hold her in his arms but couldn’t jostle her. He leaned over and kissed her brow. “When you come home we can put all these stuffed animals on the lawn… won’t ever have to mow again.”

 

“I am giving them to Toys for Tots.” The little girl stated seriously. “I can’t come home to Mr. Bowtie with all these strangers.”

 

Mr. Bowtie was Chelsea’s first and most favored teddy bear. She refused to have him at the hospital with her since all the machines might frighten him. Jensen nodded at her suggestion, patting her knee through her layers of blankets. “Good call. He can get awful jealous.”

 

“He’s tender hearted.” Chelsea agreed with a faint smile. She settled back to her pillows. “I have to sleep some more, Jensen. Will you stay here until I’m all the way asleep?”

 

“You bet, Chels. I’m right here.” 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

 

He closed the door as quietly as he could, thinking about the girls already being in bed for the night. Jensen had stayed at Chris’ place longer than he had intended, just talking and then playing guitar. They were trying to get back to where they were before, both agreeing to put the work into fixing their friendship. Being friends again and taking the physical aspects out of the equation. It was going to work. Jensen was not deluded into thinking he was the innocent. He had been right there with Chris in messing things up between them. Afterwards, he had to see Chelsea. Thankfully the nurses didn’t say anything about visiting hours to him. Jensen was not always able to make a set time, but his heart was always there with his baby sister. Finally at home, he took off his jacket, putting down his car keys before he heard his mother’s voice next to him.

 

“Jensen… we need to talk.”

 

That was never good. Jensen widened his eyes and then frowned a little before nodding. He wanted nothing more than to take a shower and get to bed, but it wasn’t happening that way. He had planned on calling Jared but he was a little afraid. Jensen didn’t think he could deal with it if Jared told him to go fuck himself. He wasn’t up for THAT tonight.

 

“Alright, Mama. Do I need coffee for this?”

 

“Already made some.” Maureen walked over to the coffeemaker, preparing cups for them both. She handed a mug to Jensen . She joined him at the kitchen table, sitting there in her housecoat over a flannel nightgown. She was still a beautiful woman, even tired and stressed out. “Jared called.”

 

“Huh? When? Did he want me to call him back?” Jensen saw his mother’s brows lift and her little smile of knowing. Jensen tried to down-shift into not being a screaming teenaged girl. “I mean… what did he want?”

 

“You.” Maureen sipped her coffee. “Obviously. What else would he want? But I could tell when he asked after you that maybe he was worried about his reception here…so I asked him what was wrong. Don’t look so worried. He wouldn’t say… but I’m not completely oblivious , Jensen. You two are sort of a mystery to me. I mean… I’m not blind. I’ve seen your pictures. The paintings. I know you are in love with him. You never told me…but it’s right there. I’ve heard from Cassidy…and from around town, anyone that comes into the diner- I’ve heard about what Jared said at that big she-bang. How the two of you have been together for a long time. I know it’s not true -but I’d never breathe a word. I want my baby boy happy… and I suspected maybe things were so new between you that it was too early for me to ask you what was going on. What it meant. But I could’ve been wrong. What is wrong between you? Tell me. I’m your mama. I want to help, baby. Tell me what happened.”

 

Jensen was not used to his mother directing so much attention his way. Not as a mother, per se. He was accustomed to hearing about the minutiae of day to day life, what was needing repaired, when school tax was due or how the water heater was faring. Not so much with the ‘how are *you*?’ aspect. He sat back to his chair, staring to her. 

 

“There were some things Jared said to make Rose… well to change things. I can’t go into all that, Mama. I straight out can’t. Not with my mother. You know?” 

 

At her small nod, Jensen went on.

 

“I just have a lot on my mind, Ma. I can’t drop everything for anyone. I mean… Jared has a whole other life than me. It’s tricky. We need to work things out. Not just yell over what’s wrong. “

 

His vagaries confirmed Maureen’s suspicions over what issues Jensen might have with a new boyfriend. She had felt guilty hearing how sad Jared sounded when he asked her to take care of herself and have a good night. He was wishing her well, and she was feeling like an obstacle between the sweet man and her son. Her son that never gave less than everything to his family. But Jensen was not the father here. He was her son. He should have a life. Not just be taking care of *hers*. She had told herself for a long time that it was all about family. Convincing herself Jensen would never want things any other way- because he never asked for different. But then, her mind argued, when had Jensen ever *known* different? He was not likely to ask for himself. Jensen was always giving. His entire paycheck went to the family. She had to take money out to buy him clothes before his own were in tatters. Ever since he was a boy, Jensen had thought in terms of his mother and sisters. Maureen had found in him a helper and later, fellow adult to manage those aspects of the household that she let slide while working long hours. She sighed and looked at her son with compassion and apology in her eyes. This next part might be hard, but it had to happen.

 

“Jensen…I want to tell you, I have never known a man as strong as you are. You never let me down. In fact, I feel like *I* let you down. Let me finish. I was so wrapped up in my life… that I mistook it for *your* life. I decided to have children, even if financially I know we scraped by more times than not. I know I wasn’t the most sensible woman. The men I chose weren’t good but I never regretted my children. Not a single one for a moment. You are all gifts to me. My babies. Still, I should never have taken that away from *you*. Being a child, my baby. I never should have made you the man of the house. Not because you did anything but wrong…but because you deserve your life too. You don’t have children. I do. You’re one of them. I want to have that relationship with you. You’re not my co-worker. I feel like we’ve gotten so used to working together that we’ve overlooked being mother and son. I’m so proud of you. So proud. I want to have my son back.”

 

Jensen’s brows drew together as he listened to his mother. He was not expecting this by any stretch of the imagination. She was confusing him but some of the things she said? Sounded so right. Tugging at his heart deep down. Like he needed his mother to care about him too. Not just in the way of what he could do or would contribute, but for himself. His dreams. His thoughts. Like she was with the girls. He had missed that but never knew the words to ask for it for himself.

 

“You have me, Mama. I don’t resent my life or my sisters. You. None of it. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

 

“Yes, there is. You say I am blameless in how I raised you…but ask yourself this. Which one of the girls have you ever asked as much from as I asked of you? Not one. You don’t put on them what I put on you. Because it’s too much and you want better for them. I want better for *you*. I know some of the reasons you broke up with Chris. I don’t want you doing that all over again…-”

 

“Mama…-”

 

“Jensen Ross. I am not so new to the world that I can’t see signs. I have two working eyes. I made mistakes but I can admit to them. You need actual space and time to be you and have your life. I mean it. You can’t keep on just as you are. You’re like a shark in a goldfish bowl, honey. You can’t be what you need to be without hitting the glass.”

 

Maureen set her coffee aside, folding her hands together as she studied him. She worried over how he saw himself. The high standards he set himself and how he castigated himself for any failure, big or small. It gave her heartache. She had to do what was best for him, even if it hurt.

 

“Jensen…you’re moving out.”

 

His jade eyes flared wide and his head whipped up as he stared at his mother. “Ma?!”

 

“Moving. Out. I have to do this, baby. For you. It’s just how it is. I can’t make it all better but I can take steps and this is the one you’re going to give me. Let me make some changes that’ll make us all stronger. I talked to Josie and Madison earlier. They are both going to get part time jobs running the counter at the diner…and you’re moving out.”

 

 

Her tone was so final. Jensen was in shock. Moving out? He shook his head.

 

“They need to be focused on school, Ma.”

 

“Which they will. They are going to keep their grades up and work four hours a night five nights a week. They can even study at the diner. But they can begin to contribute. They expect you and I to get them everything they want and we’ve let that slide. No more. Cassidy babysits. She will watch Jenny if I’m not here or the twins are out. You are going to go get a life, Jensen.” Maureen nodded to him. “I will help you look for a place if you want. Close by if you’d feel better about that…but a grown man needs more than just one room to call his own.”

 

“But…” Jensen was in a daze. He ran a hand over the back of his neck, thinking of how strange it would be to have his own place. God. Be able to have his things out wherever he wanted. Not always need to be so discreet with bringing someone to his bed. He bit his inner cheek. He had imagined it before. Sometimes. Seeing how his friends lived once out of high school. Jensen had just never taken it past wondering. He reconciled himself to his lot in life long ago. Maybe the day his own daddy just took off. Left everyone behind like they were nothing. Jensen could never have done that to his family. “What if there’s an emergency? Or …”

 

“There are plenty of households in Gatlin without a Jensen on call 24/7. We will manage. You will manage. I know you’ll be coming by nearly every day …so don’t give me that hangdog look. I love you… but you got to get your ass out there. Date your pretty boyfriend. Have a life. I mean it. Make your mama quit wondering if she’s made you a hermit.”

 

 

“Hermit?” Jensen sighed and then felt his initial fear of the unknown slowly mellowing into fascination. Could he *do* this? He smiled tentatively to his mother. “There’s still all that money in the bank.”

 

“So?”

 

“So…Jared said… I can’t give it back or it’d blow the initial story about Rose trying to help Chelsea. So I want you to take it. It’s a lot of money, Mama.” Jensen spoke gently, serious in his request.

 

“No way in hell. You want to do something with it then you can put yourself back in school. For your art. You can buy a new car. Help your sisters out when they want to go to school. They don’t seem excited about it yet… but I can dream. I know Cass will want to go…” Maureen shrugged. “You could take a vacation. You’ve heard of those right?”

 

“Yeah… I’m familiar with the word.” This was surreal to Jensen. Like he was in some weird fugue state with his mother saying these things. “Maybe I should wait until after Chelsea’s better…”

 

“There would always be something, Jensen. Chelsea’s transplant surgery is not hinging on where you live. She’s going to be alright. We all are. But you need to do this for you…now.” She had to be firm. Jensen’s sense of obligation would never make it easy for him to just do for himself. “You’re out, buddy.”

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Jared was asleep on the sofa in the front room of the suite. His face was buried in a less than comfortable throw pillow as he slept on his stomach, body half twisted to the side. He had been sleeping with the boys but they would not be still. Even in the big bed, if he moved aside as much as he could- they followed. Asleep but like homing missiles, the children would get their little feet and arms flying their father’s way. Jared finally had to move after Ben elbowed him in the mouth while Tate just peed on him. Yeah. The toddler had squirmed to lay on Jared’s chest and there he left his mark. Getting up. Jared changed Tate deciding to never use a sleeper diaper again. No the big bulky ones from here on out. Tate was tucked back into bed beside Ben , the boys curling together like puppies. Jared just crashed on the couch, watching some of the movie ‘Alpha Dog’ before he clicked the television off and conked out. He heard a knock at the door and woke up. He sat up and listened, thinking he must still be dreaming. He looked around, about to go back to sleep when that soft knock sounded again. Jared rubbed both hands over his face and got to his feet. He almost tripped over the swanky too low coffee table before banging his shin instead on Tate’s Handy Manny truck. He cursed and limped to the door, opening it before he had time to think. He blinked to see Jensen there, a worried look on Jensen’s face. Groggily, Jared whispered.

 

“Is everything alright?”

 

“Are YOU alright?” Jensen had heard the noise and swearing. Jared looked like he was exhausted. Actually, Jared made exhausted look good. Rumpled t-shirt, flannel pants riding low on his hips. Jensen had to jerk his eyes back to Jared’s face. “I needed to see you…and I didn’t think I could wait.”

 

Jared had no idea what time it was, but it didn’t matter. Jensen mattered. He closed a hand around Jensen’s side and drew him inside the room. Jared hugged Jensen tightly, feeling the sigh that left Jensen before they were holding each other. He kissed Jensen’s ear, over his jaw and cheek.

 

“I’m fine. I ran into that talking truck thing.”

 

Inane. Jared could kick himself if his ankle was already stinging. He looked at Jensen, pulling back to see his face better.

 

“I’m glad you came over. I missed you. Real bad. I just didn’t want to crowd you. After what I said…”

 

“We both said things…not exactly the right way.” Jensen relaxed the line of his shoulders, unwinding that painful tightness. “I was being a bastard.”

 

“No. You have a right to say whatever you want, Jen. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I never want to hurt you. I just wanted to… I thought I was helping but I wasn’t. I was being stupid, headstrong… not thinking past what I want for you…I fucked up all over the place…-”

 

“Shh.” Jensen softly kissed Jared’s lips. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. I happen to like him just the way he is.” He saw Jared’s little smile and nodded. “Can we sit?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. I’m sorry.” Jared loved the chuckle from Jensen before they were on the couch. Jared tugged Jensen close, putting Jensen’s chest to his back. “Better?”

 

“It’ll do for talking…” Jensen replied lazily. He glanced back to Jared, locking their eyes. “So I’m being thrown out. My ma. She doesn’t want me to be bedroom bound anymore. Thinks I need more space.”

 

It was more than that. Jensen knew it. Jared knew it. It was a huge step, a big change. It could mean a lot of things. Already did. 

 

Jared smoothed his jaw to Jensen’s, asking softly. “You okay? I mean… it’s new.”

 

“It’s new but maybe…a long time coming. It won’t change me seeing my family… just… you know… differently.” Jensen could see it a bit better now. From his mother’s point of view. “I am going to look for a place tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah?” Jared cleared his throat and inwardly tried to hold his tongue but it wasn’t listening to him. “Don’t.”

 

“Don’t? Don’t what?”

 

“Look. I mean… sorry. I want to look with you. I want to look…for us. You and me…the boys. God. It’s too soon, isn’t it? You’re just now getting independent of a family and I’m railroading you and… I should learn when to shut up. I’m happy for you. I want the best for you. Of course you need your own pla-…”

 

Jensen opted to turn and put his hand over Jared’s mouth. Just to stop the words for a moment. “Jared? There’s a big difference between me living at my mother’s as opposed to living with my boyfriend. Vast difference. Huge.” He took his hand from Jared’s mouth and saw how Jared’s eyes glowed.

 

“And…my boys?”

 

“I love your kids. I love you. I wouldn’t ever think of you as being separate from them. I swear that to you. I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are…and part of that is being their daddy.” Jensen nodded when Jared did. “I love you. That’s what I came over to say… and the rest just… we can figure it out.”

 

“I want to live with you. I want to sleep with you…wake up with you… all of it, Jensen. I just want everything.”

 

“You’re a greedy fucker…” But Jensen chuckled as Jared pulled him close and kissed him, their mouths meeting in a soul kiss.

 

Jared knew he was greedy. He rolled Jensen under him on the couch and kissed him deeply, wanting every moment of their lives from here on out to be ‘theirs’. Together. 

 

“Room?” Jensen asked, not wanting Ben or Tate to walk up on them going at it on the couch.

 

“Yeah… the boys are in one room together. We can use the other… Watch your feet. Tinker-Toys.” Jared led Jensen back to the bedroom and then they were stripping off like they were on a time limit. Really? They just missed being together. For however long.

 

Tumbling to the bed, Jared curved his hands around Jensen’s shoulders, pulling his lover close, chest to chest as they devoured one another’s mouths, tongues sweeping and seeking. Jensen trembled at the force of the kiss. It was amazing to feel- to be- the center of Jared’s attention. He reached down Jared’s body, finding the throbbing proof of Jared’s need to fill his hand with. Stroking up and down Jared’s cock, Jensen groaned into their kiss. He wanted Jared so badly that his thoughts slid together, melting, sliding. Want. He loved the power of Jared. So intelligent but fucking hot at the same time. Kinder than most would be with his traits and attributes. Jared was Jensen’s meant-to-be and now he had him.

 

Jensen pushed Jared back to the bed and then he was licking and biting Jared’s nipples, drawing them between his teeth to torment. He loved how Jared would jerk back, making throaty mewls at how good it felt. Jensen moved downwards, lathing his tongue over ridged belly and quivering abdomen, not stopping his tender assault. Each kiss was another small mark of how much he loved Jared. After everything else, there was this love that had been running alongside them the whole while, trying to get and keep their attention. Jensen stroked Jared’s inner thighs, seeing the shivers that produced before he was sucking the sides of Jared’s eager shaft. Licking over the taut skin over rock hardness. Tasted amazing. Jensen made greedy sounds all his own, loving the pulse to his lips and tongue. He pressed Jared’s cock back and sucked his tender and full sac, murmuring heated approval to the taut orbs while Jared breathily panted above him. Wordlessly wanting more. 

 

Jensen licked up the prominent vein of Jared’s shaft, tracing around the flushed cock-head that was hotly weeping for him. Hungrily, Jensen sucked the droplets free of Jared’s slit, eyes lifting to Jared’s before he sank his mouth over Jared. Letting the thickness press to his tongue, rub the start of his throat. Pushing, prodding, demanding. Jensen was so lost in his sucking that he didn’t register at first Jared tugging at his hair urgently. Jensen opened his eyes again and slid his mouth slowly, decadently upwards before freeing Jared’s sex with a wet kiss.

 

“What?”

 

“Have to…” Jared was almost gone when he saw his cock soaked and glistening, bobbing next to Jensen’s full lips like that. He grimaced, sitting up with a groan. “Get up here…now…”

 

Jensen chuckled at the bossy tone and crawled up Jared’s body. His mouth was being attacked again before Jared was kneeing his thighs wider apart. Jensen yelped when Jared’s thick, lube slathered, finger was working up into him. He groaned at the exquisite pain pleasure, a spiked drink for the senses. Being fingered and parted inside, prepared to take what Jared had to give. To be owned. Jensen shuddered, his cock leaking steadily as Jared drove a second and then third finger into him, rubbing him so intimately that Jensen barely knew of the sounds leaving his parted lips. He saw Jared reaching for the condoms and whispered, “Skip it? I just want you. I want… I want your cum in me, Jay…“

 

 

“Anything…“ Jared answered him, the dark of his aroused gaze flashing. He pulled Jensen over his lap and licked under the line of Jensen’s jaw line, biting the side of his neck. “You’re beautiful… I can’t keep myself …off of you…“ 

 

“Then don’t…“ Shameless, Jensen would have begged at this point.

 

When Jared was finally moving his cock into place, Jensen trembled to feel the joining of their bodies. He was stretched, impaled, rocking over Jared . He could not stop the whispered curses, half made prayers- it was drawn out of him. Demanded. He had to give Jared everything. He had to be able to accept what Jared gifted in return. Jared moved them, putting Jensen on his back, putting his palms to either side of his lover as he pulled back and thrust deep, moving to cover Jensen entirely with his body, their sweaty skin rubbing together. Jensen clamped around Jared, drawing his knees back as he heard the grunts it ripped from Jared’s panting lips.

 

“Yeah… fuck… Jay… don’t stop… don’t stop… cum for me… got me so close…”

 

Jensen reached down to his cock, stroking hard and fast, the thwup-thwup sound of his cock made Jared mad for him, fucking him even more vigorously. It felt like being torn in half and reassembled to be part of Jared. He felt his orgasm building and whispered Jared’s name, seeing lust glazed eyes close as Jared fell with him. They came together , the feeling both harsh and brilliant. Jared landed hard on Jensen and breathed in his lover’s scent. He licked over Jensen’s damp skin, feeling his sweet man stir under him.

 

“Jared…off…my lungs… seriously.”

 

Jared chuckled and rolled to the side, pulling free of Jensen’s ass. He looked down watching his cock slip out slowly, loving that small trickle of cum that marked his passing. Beautifully hot. Pulling the blanket up over them, Jared cuddled to Jensen. “We need a shower, seriously.”

 

“Later.” Jensen murmured. “I have to wait for my ass to attach itself to my body again.”

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Epilogue-

 

“Daddy! He’s eating all the red ones! Make him STOP!!” Ben’s impressive bellow managed to go out over the Chipmunk’s Christmas CD playing and the babbling around him. He meant business.

 

 

Jensen walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands as he stood over the coffee table. The table was loaded down with bowls of candy in several kinds and colors, bowls of tinted icing and in the center, a gingerbread house being decorated. As long as they had the candy for it.

 

‘Jared, don’t eat all the red ones.”

 

Jared gave his son a look for tattling on him. He smiled to Jensen, having his lap full as Tate was on one side and Jenny the other, all three of them covered in bits of candy and icing. 

 

“So not my fault.”

 

Jared’s defense was seconded by Chelsea as she carefully applied icing to the bottom of a lemon drop. “It’s really not his fault, Jensen. Jenny keeps feeding them to him…”

 

“He liiiikes em.” Jenny said effusively and popped another red-hot into Jared’s mouth.

 

Jensen shook his head, hearing his mom returning with the twins and Cassidy. The women bustled in, seeing Jensen take the bowl of red-hots to put beside Ben. Keeping the peace. 

 

Maureen beamed at the scene, loving to come over to Jensen and Jared’s place and especially, as a family. She hugged her son around the bags in her arms. “The turkey’s in the car. Go get it real careful.”

 

Obediently, Jensen went outside to retrieve the bird, knowing to hurry because he had seen Jared eyeing the gummi bears.


End file.
